[It wasn't a hard push, and Steve didn't fight it, but because he moved so easily he actually stumbled and hit the wall hard enough to make him grunt. Not that he minded. James could have done anything he wanted and Steve would have wept with joy. The fact that he liked being pushed around was just icing on the cake.
His breath came fast and shallow, eyes hot as they looked into James'. Steve was trembling just a little, and with that grip on his face the man could surely feel it. Steve's hands moved to rest on James' hips, digging his fingers in.]
Just you. It was only ever the one you. But almost no one comes back with memories. I was so scared you wouldn't know me. I . . . I couldn't . . . If you hadn't . . .
[Steve closed his eyes and swallowed hard, pushing out the words.]
I was too scared. I didn't think I could deal if you didn't know me, so I was trying to see if you were you. At least watching I could keep pretending . . .
[It was truth. Losing James hadn't broken him, but it hadn't done him any favors either. He'd survived though the feelings didn't go away, they'd just sort of . . . gone quiet. Most of him had. He'd barely been with anyone, sticking to the people he was just primarily friends with for the most part. It had been a comfort, but Steve had never looked for a replacement. You couldn't replace someone like James, and he hadn't wanted to try.]
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[It wasn't a hard push, and Steve didn't fight it, but because he moved so easily he actually stumbled and hit the wall hard enough to make him grunt. Not that he minded. James could have done anything he wanted and Steve would have wept with joy. The fact that he liked being pushed around was just icing on the cake.
His breath came fast and shallow, eyes hot as they looked into James'. Steve was trembling just a little, and with that grip on his face the man could surely feel it. Steve's hands moved to rest on James' hips, digging his fingers in.]
Just you. It was only ever the one you. But almost no one comes back with memories. I was so scared you wouldn't know me. I . . . I couldn't . . . If you hadn't . . .
[Steve closed his eyes and swallowed hard, pushing out the words.]
I was too scared. I didn't think I could deal if you didn't know me, so I was trying to see if you were you. At least watching I could keep pretending . . .
[It was truth. Losing James hadn't broken him, but it hadn't done him any favors either. He'd survived though the feelings didn't go away, they'd just sort of . . . gone quiet. Most of him had. He'd barely been with anyone, sticking to the people he was just primarily friends with for the most part. It had been a comfort, but Steve had never looked for a replacement. You couldn't replace someone like James, and he hadn't wanted to try.]