[ There'd been a temptation to dance around what she ultimately wanted to say, but screw it. None of that other stuff matters. Well, it does. It's horrible. But ultimately, everything comes down to how her yearning for him had only increased tenfold. It's probably why she pushed Mega away. She must've unconsciously sensed he was going to try to ruin something special. ]
No one here is. No matter how hard I try to pretend.
[ Her eyes finally open, and they're a bit damp, she finds. Nothing more coffee can't fix, right? Or maybe more books, or champagne, or who-knows-what from some random demon. Everything was going to circle back to him anyway. May as well feel good while she spirals down a drain.
After straightening up, she gulps down a majority of the remaining coffee. Maybe the caffeine rush would be a nice substitute for the peaceful lull of alcohol she's craving instead. ]
Like. How'd we end up like this?
[ It's asked without expecting an answer. A million of them are already sprouting up as she tosses it out into the atmosphere. ]
If this had happened when we first met, you'd probably have rolled your eyes at everything. Said "eff all this" and joke about smacking a few computers around, just to show how cool you are. Then I'd laugh and maybe do something dumb, like offer you my butt to get you started. You know, if I even wanted to admit I was anything like a computer. Then we'd continue on like nothing was wrong with us.
[ She laughs softly. Those were the days. Everything was perfect. A perfect storm, brewing on the horizon and looming ever closer, but perfect nonetheless. ]
But now, we care. And you're going to keep pulling away and I'll allow it, because hey, I deserve it. [ Another laugh, sadder this time, as her gaze drifts elsewhere. ] "It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone." Steinbeck. [ She adds that needlessly, knowing he'd immediately recognize it anyway. ] I wonder what it'd be like if we never turned the light on.
no subject
[ There'd been a temptation to dance around what she ultimately wanted to say, but screw it. None of that other stuff matters. Well, it does. It's horrible. But ultimately, everything comes down to how her yearning for him had only increased tenfold. It's probably why she pushed Mega away. She must've unconsciously sensed he was going to try to ruin something special. ]
No one here is. No matter how hard I try to pretend.
[ Her eyes finally open, and they're a bit damp, she finds. Nothing more coffee can't fix, right? Or maybe more books, or champagne, or who-knows-what from some random demon. Everything was going to circle back to him anyway. May as well feel good while she spirals down a drain.
After straightening up, she gulps down a majority of the remaining coffee. Maybe the caffeine rush would be a nice substitute for the peaceful lull of alcohol she's craving instead. ]
Like. How'd we end up like this?
[ It's asked without expecting an answer. A million of them are already sprouting up as she tosses it out into the atmosphere. ]
If this had happened when we first met, you'd probably have rolled your eyes at everything. Said "eff all this" and joke about smacking a few computers around, just to show how cool you are. Then I'd laugh and maybe do something dumb, like offer you my butt to get you started. You know, if I even wanted to admit I was anything like a computer. Then we'd continue on like nothing was wrong with us.
[ She laughs softly. Those were the days. Everything was perfect. A perfect storm, brewing on the horizon and looming ever closer, but perfect nonetheless. ]
But now, we care. And you're going to keep pulling away and I'll allow it, because hey, I deserve it. [ Another laugh, sadder this time, as her gaze drifts elsewhere. ] "It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone." Steinbeck. [ She adds that needlessly, knowing he'd immediately recognize it anyway. ] I wonder what it'd be like if we never turned the light on.