He was silent for a moment, his brows constricted at that question. Was it not obvious?
He spoke calmly, almost distantly, for this was a difficult subject and it would be best for one of them to be calm. Time had given him some perspective on himself, on his actions and his motivations Suzaku hadn’t had that time. He was still trapped psychologically in the middle of their very worst days.
“I was too much of a proud and scared boy to know how to tell my friend I’d found out he was suicidal. Rather, I tried to solve your self-loathing by giving you something to live for. I’d hoped you’d join my cause willingly, realising that you could offer the world restitution rather than punishment… but when I realised you were actually going to let yourself die on those dog’s orders I panicked and told you to Live.”
no subject
He spoke calmly, almost distantly, for this was a difficult subject and it would be best for one of them to be calm. Time had given him some perspective on himself, on his actions and his motivations Suzaku hadn’t had that time. He was still trapped psychologically in the middle of their very worst days.
“I was too much of a proud and scared boy to know how to tell my friend I’d found out he was suicidal. Rather, I tried to solve your self-loathing by giving you something to live for. I’d hoped you’d join my cause willingly, realising that you could offer the world restitution rather than punishment… but when I realised you were actually going to let yourself die on those dog’s orders I panicked and told you to Live.”