"Barely eighteen." Her voice sounds so distant to her. Like she isn't really here and it is someone else speaking her confession. Maybe this is better. Get everything out and stop feeling so dirty inside. "I didn't... I didn't feel like I had a choice. It taunted me. Knowing I could save them but... they were out of my reach. It was trying to... do something to me. I'm not sure what but I get headaches now. I didn't tell you because it stopped at the island. It... didn't matter anymore."
She shivers at the feeling of the air from the room on her skin. It feels colder now especially with what she is telling him. Or that person who sounds so much like her. It doesn't feel like her so this is fine. Everything is fine.
"I didn't finish school. Too busy locked in that realm trying to win and... I probably should be dead. I'm a murderer and participated in magic. I know how bad I am. It was just nice to pretend I hadn't done terrible things that I'd happily do again. I saved Katie. I don't know how but I know I did."
Maybe she should leave L.L in the morning. He thought she was still a good person who got caught up in bad things. Annie feels guilty for not telling him before now. But she reminds herself that he also was guilty of things he didn't talk about. Best to let him decide if he can deal with her biggest sin. It would be a shitty thing to just tell him and run away no matter how much she wants to hide from him now.
" I went... a little mad there. When I ended up here, I... thought this was another trap in the game. Another bit where I was going to be alone facing some terrible puzzle or riddle. I... guess I was feral. I'd go days without talking to anyone. I was finally kind of better by March. It took me months to stop thinking I was back there. I don't think I can ever be the girl I used to be ever again. That place really fucked me up. I wanted to be a good person but it's hard knowing I have to finish what I started. There was no way out once it begun."
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She shivers at the feeling of the air from the room on her skin. It feels colder now especially with what she is telling him. Or that person who sounds so much like her. It doesn't feel like her so this is fine. Everything is fine.
"I didn't finish school. Too busy locked in that realm trying to win and... I probably should be dead. I'm a murderer and participated in magic. I know how bad I am. It was just nice to pretend I hadn't done terrible things that I'd happily do again. I saved Katie. I don't know how but I know I did."
Maybe she should leave L.L in the morning. He thought she was still a good person who got caught up in bad things. Annie feels guilty for not telling him before now. But she reminds herself that he also was guilty of things he didn't talk about. Best to let him decide if he can deal with her biggest sin. It would be a shitty thing to just tell him and run away no matter how much she wants to hide from him now.
" I went... a little mad there. When I ended up here, I... thought this was another trap in the game. Another bit where I was going to be alone facing some terrible puzzle or riddle. I... guess I was feral. I'd go days without talking to anyone. I was finally kind of better by March. It took me months to stop thinking I was back there. I don't think I can ever be the girl I used to be ever again. That place really fucked me up. I wanted to be a good person but it's hard knowing I have to finish what I started. There was no way out once it begun."