[Well hell. That hadn't worked at all. Steve winced as James spoke in that hard, emotionless voice, clearly hiding just how much his past hurt. He cuddled James close as the man burrowed into him, hands moving in soothing motions on his lover's body. The fact James had said anything at all to such a tender subject proved just how open the man was trying to be, but it made Steve hesitate to ask more. The last thing he wanted was to make James upset and ruin their quiet moment.
The question put to him was easy to answer, but it made him feel guilty. There was no way he could make James' past happy, but maybe going forward . . . ]
My dad died before I was born, in the Great war, but I had my ma. She worked as a nurse. We didn't have much, just each other really, and then Bucky found me when I was about . . . thirteen I think? Then I had the two of them, and Bucky's family, although mostly he came over to my place. It was like having a brother, you know? We starved and froze or sweltered like everyone else back then, but we also had each other, which made things not quite as bad.
[Steve was quiet for a long time, holding James and trying to comfort them both. Just because the words came easily didn't mean they hurt less.]
She died. Tuberculosis. Caught it from work. And I lost Bucky during a mission. He fell . . . He fell. And I couldn't catch him, and we couldn't go back fast enough to . . . mn. It was a long time ago now. I crashed into the Arctic not long after Bucky . . . well. There's no blood relations left back home, not since I woke up. I've made some new friends and they're all . . . kinda like me actually, people with ah . . . talents. They're nice, for the most part, but they're not . . .
[He let his words trail off. He cared deeply about his new team, even though it was currently fractured, but it wasn't the same as before the ice. Nothing ever could be and he knew that, and yet . . . Steve sighed softly, resting his cheek on James' hair.]
Can you tell me a happy memory James? Anything that gave you joy?
no subject
The question put to him was easy to answer, but it made him feel guilty. There was no way he could make James' past happy, but maybe going forward . . . ]
My dad died before I was born, in the Great war, but I had my ma. She worked as a nurse. We didn't have much, just each other really, and then Bucky found me when I was about . . . thirteen I think? Then I had the two of them, and Bucky's family, although mostly he came over to my place. It was like having a brother, you know? We starved and froze or sweltered like everyone else back then, but we also had each other, which made things not quite as bad.
[Steve was quiet for a long time, holding James and trying to comfort them both. Just because the words came easily didn't mean they hurt less.]
She died. Tuberculosis. Caught it from work. And I lost Bucky during a mission. He fell . . . He fell. And I couldn't catch him, and we couldn't go back fast enough to . . . mn. It was a long time ago now. I crashed into the Arctic not long after Bucky . . . well. There's no blood relations left back home, not since I woke up. I've made some new friends and they're all . . . kinda like me actually, people with ah . . . talents. They're nice, for the most part, but they're not . . .
[He let his words trail off. He cared deeply about his new team, even though it was currently fractured, but it wasn't the same as before the ice. Nothing ever could be and he knew that, and yet . . . Steve sighed softly, resting his cheek on James' hair.]
Can you tell me a happy memory James? Anything that gave you joy?