"I can't even cast a spell for it. What makes you think I'd know which switch to flip anyway?" If anyone's willing to compete for being the most useless person in hell you can bet it'll be John Constantine trying to wriggle and squirm his way out of doing work-- oh, uh, I mean, putting himself at mortal risk.

"And you and I both know that we'll try to cheat at that, so what's the point?"