TEST DRIVE MEME #20

[penancemods]

Arrival

You remember a dream.

Or maybe nightmare is more accurate.

It was full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. There's a voice that feels like it's coming from all around you at once. Contrasting with the nightmare unfolding around you, it's smooth as silk. It makes you want to listen with every bit of attention you can muster in the moment.

"Judgement has come upon you, but not to worry. It can still be undone."

The voice promises you redemption for your sins. It promises you a better life and everything you could ever want, if only you just stop struggling so much.

And so you do.

While everyone usually wakes up in the same room initially, there has been an unforeseen error. Sinners will not wake in a deceptively cushy room with Hieronymus Bosch paintings lining the walls. Instead, when they open their eyes, they may find themselves in any Penance location, including:

∎ Any location within the hotel, including rooms belonging to sinners who have already settled in. Bar, bathrooms, kitchen, etc. There's a nice torture room as well!
∎ Club Penance, Casino Styx, the movie theatre, or the fondly named Hellburbia, etc..
∎ Locations just outside the gate aren't off limits for new arrivals, but keep in mind that sinners may be chased by random hell beasts or have to call for aid ASAP.

More details about locations available in Hell can be found here.

After feeling a sensation of falling or dropping onto a hard surface, characters wake up feeling like they've just slept for a month straight. Their body will feel heavy and stiff, and they'll have a massive headache at first. They will have a mysterious wound across the palm of their hand that hasn't been healed properly.

They'll quickly notice the list of their sins written with their blood on an old piece of parchment placed upon their chest. These contracts are made with blood magic and will mean the parchment is tied to their individual sins. They can't be changed or tampered with. Next to them, they'll also find their device to connect with others and the network dropped on the ground. It won't be anything terribly fancy. As a matter of fact, it looks like a very old Blackberry type phone.

Once characters are ready to get up, they'll have to find their way to the Hotel Penance lobby. Pushing through the dreaded ominous feeling that lingers upon arrival, they may encounter fellow sinners or demonic staff that will direct them to the front desk to be checked in. The staff may be pushy or they may border on courteous. It really just depends on the mood of the demon at the time and how they're treated in return.

Once to the lobby, you'll notice the front desk manned by a demon who looks bored out of his mind. To the side of him is the door to the kitchen, where guests may help themselves to whatever foods are available. To the right is a small duty free shop that seems to have a surprisingly normal, expected stock of items. There's also a gift shop called Kergak's Gifts and Things, for all those novelty Hell t-shirts and memorabilia. Look around a bit further, there will be a tiny bar tucked in through a corner door. It seems pretty well-stocked and best of all, there's a demonic bartender who seems to know how to mix any drink you can imagine (and a few you can't). Of course there's some seating, bar games, and a jukebox tucked in the corner if you'd rather stay and socialize a bit. There's also a new addition of a karaoke machine.

Please note that all the songs on the jukebox are appropriately hell-themed. Hopefully Sympathy for the Devil is universally loved.


Stand Your Ground

Sinners, new and old alike, will note that the morning in Penance starts off with quite a bang. An explosion rocks the hotel just as Lilith is welcoming the fresh batch of damned souls in after a full month and it seems to spread out across the entire community. Before anyone can so much as react, it feels almost like the dimension of Hell folds in on itself. For a jarring, uncomfortable moment, everything changes. The hotel changes from its usual look to a burned out husk of a building that reveals the gruesome landscape outside, to a castle made of skulls before back to normal again. Similarly, the demons and sinners alike may feel themselves shift a bit, becoming some alternate version of themselves. The demons may become uncomfortably human, sinners may become older or younger. It doesn't last more than a second, but it may leave one feeling a bit ill for a while afterwards.

For a blissful moment after the explosion and weirdness that followed, things almost seem back to normal around Penance. At least until the staff is frantically rushing around. The word is Lilith has been injured and Lucifer has gone missing. There are scared murmurs of The Veiled Order and God breaking through the barrier Lucifer set up to keep him out. Everything feels tense and chaotic, even as the staff tries to keep a brave face for the guests.

Fortunately, the Casino Styx, Loki, and Leo Fitz's expertise in harnessing harmless energy to keep the barrier up seems to be holding strong for now anyway. God is not in Hell. The Veiled Order seem quiet as well. Confusion is thick in the air as everyone tries to puzzle out what's going on, but the one thing that seems certain? There's something that managed to sneak in with the souls and it's likely some really bad news. No one knows what's coming next, but still, the show must go on! Whether people want it to or not.

The demon at the front desk does what he can to keep things orderly going forward. He's there to help guests find their way to their rooms, he's there to explain why souls are brought in. Unfortunately, reality isn't quite as back to normal as one might have expected. Doors that are familiar (or aren't, depending on how new you are) lead to entirely different places than one would expect. Go to the kitchen? You may just end up in the torture room! Trying to leave the gym, have fun accidentally stepping into someone's bedroom! This also happens while stepping into the shower occasionally... hope no one has issues with appearing suddenly in the new in the middle of the lobby or any other area in Hell! The staff assures everyone that this will be corrected just as soon as they figure out what's going on exactly.

Unfortunately, this means that sinners may wind up in the room that seems to just be full of blood or the one constantly burning with hellfire... fortunately, the rooms that remain locked throughout the hotel don't seem to change much at all. Still no entrance to these restricted areas at all!

The random teleportation or odd rooms aren't just confined to the hotel. This may happen at Club Penance, Hellburbia, and any other establishment around Hell. Caution is strongly urged for anyone intending on going anywhere. It may be wise to go in a group!


Reach Up High

Since this is the first TDM of the new year, we're offering multiple choices for punishment to give players an idea of what to expect in the game coming up. These are all open to new and all players alike, so enjoy! Just click on the title to expand the information for each.

Prompt I: Just a Little Cut

WARNINGS: mutilation, blood, cutting.

Whether you've been here for months or you're freshly arrived, your demonic overlord unfortunately expects some participation despite the current state of things. You can try and shirk the responsibility, of course. You can bargain your way out of it for a while. But eventually, you may find yourself trapped in a room just off the gym that's been fondly dubbed The Torture Room. It has all manner of equipment in there, along with an iron maiden even.

But don't worry about any of that right now. It probably won't be used.

You can try the door, but even with super human strength or every lock picking skill in the book, you won't be able to open it.

It soon becomes apparent what you're supposed to do when someone else is eventually shoved in with you. Both of your lists of sins will appear on a table that's been placed in the center of the room, along with two handy knives. You can choose to guard these or not care at all that they're on display.

"Know that honesty is a good place to start on your road to redemption-- you know what, it doesn't matter. This is Hell and while suffering may not happen without reason, you don't really care about that right now, do you? Sure, pain can be terrifying at first, but that's why you've been given a partner in this journey. Pick up your knives and carve at least one sin into each other's flesh. Help in the journey to be candid with everyone you should meet here!"

The voice echoes all around you again, just like in the nightmare, but it's different. Rougher. It's a demon's voice without any of Lucifer's calming demeanor.

"Just get on with it or you'll be cut much worse."

It isn't a lie nor an idle threat either. The longer you wait to do what's been requested of you, the more shallow cuts that will appear on both of your bodies. Are you really prepared to endure this pain when giving in would be so much easier?

And more than that, are you willing to let another suffer along with you?

Eventually, the cuts will stop if you suffer them long enough, but you'll have failed this challenge and sustained more damage than if you'd just gone along with it. Satan will also be very disappointed in you.

Prompt II: Just a Chat

"New arrivals!" The demon greets as sinners are led to a room with two seats and a table in between. They then will be made to sit by two burly demon escorts.

"What I am asking of you is rather simple... pick a sin from your contract, any sin, and explain how you got to that point. Simple enough, yes? Perhaps gaining a better understanding of what made you sin in the first place will help. Or humiliate you into never doing it again. Please don't try to get out of it... you will be punished.".

And true to his word, so long as sinners comply and share what made them perform a sin on their list, they'll be let go. If, after five minutes, nothing has been shared, a headache will begin. The pain will gradually increase until it floods the body. Nosebleeds may begin to happen, so will bleeding out the ears or eyes. Eventually, a sinner may even lose a sense for a 24 hour period.

Is it really worth potentially going blind just to get out of a little bit of talking? Come now...

(Effects should begin 5 comments in and gradually worsen until sinners either give in or start to lose one of their senses. After this, they'll be released from the room regardless whether they complied or not)

Prompt III: Jesus Wept

WARNINGS: mutilation, blood, torture, extreme gore.

Somewhere from within the hotel is an ominous rumble behind a closed door. There are eerie screams from within, followed by menacing laughter as the door swings open of its own accord. The room within is painted in nothing but darkness and a thick fog.

For those who would dare approach, they will be able to make out the outlines of chains hanging in wait from the ceiling, but most other details are obscured. There may be a brief flash of figures in the shadows, the stench of blood. This feels like a bad idea, but sinners are drawn forward anyway. There's something of a promise inside this room... something new and exciting, greater than anyone is capable of imagining!

You know what they say about curiosity and the cat, don't you?

Before common sense can win out, guests will find themselves pulled into the room and hear the gut-wrenching slam of the heavy door behind them. Once inside, guests will be able to make out the torn apart bodies on the ground, halved or nothing but splatters of guts and bone. Despite all logic, some will still be writhing and moaning still. Whether in pleasure or pain, it's difficult to tell

Look closer still and sinners may notice one has managed to scrawl with their bloody handprint:

There are no limits.

It may feel as if reading those words puts things into motion. Suddenly, one of the poor sinners will find the chains lashing out, hooks sinking in deep as they find their purchase on their bodies and pull. They will find themselves pulled into an almost gruesome mockery of a crucifixion pose. Arms drawn up, legs held in place. Clothes may be torn or shredded as their unmarked bodies are marred with the hooks. Flesh and muscle stretch under the strain. Fortunately, it doesn't go further.

Not yet.

"Dear guests, we haven't explored the depths to which pain can show our true selves in a while, have we? This is a room that was locked off for a while and my demonic brothers and sisters trapped within have found themselves rather bored lately," the demon's voice rings out within both ears of the sinners. "I want to show you the lengths Hell used to go to, the pain and pleasure mix of true torment. It's in suffering that we find our true selves. I do firmly believe that. We find out who we're meant to be, what we're meant to be, giving and receiving pain. Help one another and you will be set free!"

The fog dissipates enough to reveal a table nearby full of all sorts of horrifying instruments. Paddles, whips, some of them barbed in nauseating ways. There's wax to melt, knives. Needles to pierce flesh with. There are instruments that deliver enough electric current into the recipient to hurt and leave them writhing, gags for when their cries become too much.

"Next to your instruments, you will find a list of sins and wrongdoings your lovely captive has done in their lives, both here and back home. Read it and punish accordingly. Remember, there is freedom in humiliation as well as pain. Force them to see who they truly are inside. There's also redemption to be found in the punishment. You are delivering God's divine justice! You are God's hand! He will be so pleased..."

In the shadows, there are those same figures standing in wait, ready to manipulate the hooks.

"You will have no more than four attempts to carry out your punishment. Failure or refusal to do so will result in another hook driving into our poor bound soul here. After your four attempts, I am sorry to say they will be torn apart by my friends in the shadows with you, and you will have murder added to the list of sins tainting you. It would be such a needless shame to fail at this, wouldn't it? And who knows, perhaps you'll find you adore this path..."

There's a short laugh from the demon, as if he just made a brilliant joke. "Succeed in your punishment and you will both be released with one more sin removed from your list. Don't worry about any injuries... there are bandages and other aids available just outside. Now go have fun."

[As this is a Hellraiser based prompt, feel free to assume anything with a sadomasochistic bent to it can be found within the room. Attacking the demons controlling the chains will not stop them. They seem to be invulnerable to attacks and are only there to observe and add additional hooks when they deem fit. When a punishment is deemed worthy enough to release the hooked partner is left up to player discretion, but a character is only allowed to fail a punishment four times before they have to witness a horribly gory scene.]

Follow Me Down

Prompt I: Bare All

WARNINGS: sex, drugs, alcohol, aphrodisiacs, body changes, potential kinks, violence, potential non-con or dub-con.

Club Penance seems to be returning to its old charm! Themed nights have returned. This night's theme is: Anything But Clothes. Guests who enter the adult oriented side of the club will notice the incubi and succubi who serve in it are entirely without clothes (and any ounce of shame!). They're very encouraging of others to do the same whether it be immediately or in sexy strip shows.

On their trays, they offer drinks and drugs of all sorts. Shows are being put on on the stage, the offer of sex demos with guest participation is still on the table.

As usual, these demons play under respectable rules, safe words and all. They will also gladly exit the stage and let guests entirely run the show. They're on their best behavior tonight, even if the natural aphrodisiacs they give off seem to be amped up

Guests who refused to undress may also find their clothes randomly disappearing, or being torn off by some eager patron or demon who is a bit too into the theme! Ah, well, no need to worry too much, even if there's an undercurrent of desperation or fear in these demons, like they want guests to... well, sin. What could they need all that extra energy for? Well, considering how crazy things are around Penance right now... best to not worry about it probably.

There will be costumes and lingerie to slip on to go home in. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a walk of shame back to the hotel in nothing but a thong, they'll assure. It's just another night in Hell.

For those who are really adventurous, there are also special concoctions that the club offers. These include:

Frenzy ○ The drug will be given to anyone anyone who asks for it. It can be snorted, injected, taken in pill form, or smoked given user preference.

Despite the questionable name, guests who partake really will feel the best they've possibly ever felt. They won't need sleep or to rest, but they won't necessarily feel the strain on their bodies either. They'll be full of energy and their mood will be amazing with no hint of nightmares or dreams anywhere.

The demons won't let anyone come down either, not once they've started and not until they're told a guest doesn't want any more.

Even then, they may still try to convince them otherwise. It's a party for as long as you can go, or until you completely burn out, it seems.

But with all good things come bad. It seems a side-effect of the drug is an actual frenzy as well. A frenzy for sex or violence or anything a character might want that they deny themselves on the regular. They'll feel this growing hunger, this ravenous need to have and to claim everything they think is theirs.

Some may even fade away into an almost animalistic sort of state.

The more the guest takes, the more they'll experience this sensation. Fighting it won't help either. Though they did sort of bring that one on themselves, didn't they?

Other symptoms of coming down won't be too different to those of other drugs. Fatigue, depression. Guests will begin to feel the effects of staying up for so long without rest or stopping to take care of themselves. They may also feel a certain longing for more, but it can be fought off with enough strength of will.

The drug isn't free either. The succubi expect to be paid in energy or through actual work in the club.

Bond ○ A potion that will bond guests together the minute one speaks to the other. The encouragement is that this should be done consensually, but the demons won't necessarily be checking. Once bonded, guests will feel what the one who took the potion feels. This includes pain and pleasure both with effects lasting a full night. Give someone the most intense pleasure of their lives or torture them until they beg for mercy!

For a really intense experience, both participants can consume the potion with mutual effects.

For the dance oriented portion of the club, the theme is a little more lax. Instead of outright nakedness, patrons may be offered revealing clubwear instead. Things that will look mesmerizing in the lights of the club ranging from neon colors to clothes that seem to flash on the dance floor. The music will be thrumming in the air, pumping down to your very bones as you dance the night away, and all patrons will feel good. It will feel as if they could actually dance all night if they so wanted, even without the aid of any drugs.

It will be an all night rave with all the party drugs and drinks one could want! Live music plays all night. The band also loves to receive requests, so knock yourself out! They seem to strangely know any song they're asked to play.

Knock yourself out, give up any care in the world and have fun. You're already in Hell, so don't you deserve to feel good for a while?


Prompt II: Your Average Hotel Night

WARNINGS: Alcohol and drug abuse, potential non-con/dub-con

With all the sinners, new and old, the hotel bar will be lit up with activity. Drinks will be readily available, there's food in the kitchens, music will be blaring, and overall, there will be an energy to the atmosphere that's absolutely contagious. Even if you aren't typically inclined to linger at these sorts of events there may be be a certain pull to stay and have a bit of fun.

You might not get much of a chance to have that in Hell, after all. One drink won't hurt, right? Nor will one more after that, and after that. Ah, sweet gluttony. Why not have a pastry next? There's some delectable sweets available just a few steps away. More of a meat person? Like things salty? Fear not, it looks like someone graciously brought all sorts of snacks and foodstuffs from the kitchens to the bar as the night progresses. Indulge! You deserve it.

Similar to Club Penance, the bar also has every sort of drug available that might tickle your fancy and some you've never heard of. There's no harm in experimenting, is there? You're already in Hell. The staff will offer to show anyone how to use the drugs or give advice for what to try if you tell them what you want to experience. Shockingly, they won't lie! Their advice is good word its just you might not have been exactly prepared for it.

There's a stage and a karaoke machine for those feeling brave or just wanting to torture people with some sweet, sweet renditions of The Devil Went Down to Georgia.

There are tables set up for all sorts of gambling and various bar games to entertain yourself with. Since currency as most are familiar with it doesn't quite exist down here, most of the demons seem to be accepting bits of your soul or offers to do chores around the hotel. You may also get pulled into a fun game of strip poker against one of your fellow guests for a few succubi that are having a night out.

Relax and enjoy your night. Coming here and facing your sins is the hard part, so surely you deserve to have a little fun.


Wildcard/Misc.

Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.



And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the February 1st app round! A.K.A. The Torture Extravaganza! It's been a while since Hell has been properly mean and, with a return to the norm, we wanted to offer players a chance to really explore what Hell has to offer. There will also be an upcoming mystery to solve with the introduction of whatever this new threat in Hell is and whatever has become of Lucifer and Lilith.

All will be revealed in the upcoming February plot! If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.

If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.


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Comments

[incontrovertible]

( Caroline needed to ease into the topic, but she knows what's welcome and what Elena is waiting for. )

It was years ago, we were still in college. ( She meets Elena's eyes. ) I - couldn't handle pain I was feeling after my mom died. Cancer. There was nothing we could do. And, instead of admitting to you, to Stefan, to anyone about what I was feeling, how deep my pain went, I ignored it and made the executive decision.

It's not that I - regret it, because who knows what would've happened had I not made that choice, would I still have my girls. But. I did it. I'm sorry, Elena, that you have to hear that, that any me could disappoint you. That's not me anymore. I go to therapy now.

( And she still finds how to compartmentalize. She still has kids. She's still a parent. )

[buried]

[ (side note: a therapist in mystic falls must make some sweet coin.)

emotion, raw and grievous, clenches in her chest. it sticks in her throat, and forsakes all words, as she processes what caroline has said. elena thinks of caroline and sheriff forbes repairing their fractured relationship, brick by painstaking brick. she thinks of the kindness in the sheriff's voice when she and jeremy stepped into her kitchen after their parents died, offering the forbes home to be their own. she thinks, and feels, and mourns, eyes threatening to fill. ]

You haven't disappointed me. [ it's the furthest thing from her mind. ]

Caroline, I'm so sorry. [ if it happened in college, then that was years and years ago for caroline. but having just heard of this loss, she can't not express her sorrow. ]

[incontrovertible]

( Caroline doesn't relive what she's done, and wants to not go through it unless Elena presses further, but that pit in her stomach will forever live there. The senseless lives lost. Liam's and Sara Salvatore's lives threatened. And then Stefan's weaknesses exploited. Did she want to be left alone? Yes. Did they? No. Should she have done that in the first place, should she have snapped Elena's neck? No, no, and no. )

It's okay. I know my mom wouldn't have wanted it. And, you got me back. I was harder on myself after that than you guys were. Which -- I deserved anything you did feel.

( Or wanted to express. But, so often they stepped aside from the terrible things they did without their humanity. )

Anyway, that was not the me you knew! So. Talk about surprise story time. Please tell me more about... your me. The me in Teleios.

[buried]

[ elena is not without reference. she was able to help bring caroline back to herself in teleios before any further damage could be done, but she learned the hard way with stefan. it was one of her more painful lessons: she'd been deeply in love with a compassionate and noble stefan when she was plucked away from home. and months later, she was confronted with a stefan who'd gone ripper and was gallivanting about with katherine, of all people.

she can imagine what went down, but won't press too deeply into this wound. not now. ]

The you in Teleios was already there when I arrived. You were without your humanity, too, but you hadn't chosen it. Loki turned it off for you to mess with you. [ yes, that loki. ] We moved in together after I helped you turn it back on, but you left soon after. Just for a little while. When you came back, you continued on ... being you. [ in all her type a and persevering glory. ]

There was community building and slumber parties. You were engaged to Tyler. You were happy.

[incontrovertible]

( Caroline sits, captivated. Loki, the God? Had turned her humanity off. Like Klaus had done to Stefan. Like she had made Stefan do. It hits with a thud. But, Elena brought her back. Her emotional trigger might have been Elena then. And then she was gone. She frowns, briefly, but the continued story brings her back into it.

She was back, back, back again. )

I was engaged to Tyler Lockwood. Well, that is a blast from the past.

( She smiles to herself, remembering Tyler. She remembers what they had and what it felt to her. How they'd been torn apart and kept apart and how they were never able to find their way back to one another. She did the one thing that would keep them from being together ever again. But, all she feels is the good memories. And a bittersweet truth. Damon killed Tyler when he had no humanity, when Sybil had control over him. He did the unthinkable to get them to give up on him. Stefan never did.

Caroline never did. )

We finally made it work.

[buried]

[ elena had been waiting for caroline's reaction with bated breath, waiting for — she's not sure what. but whatever it is, what she gets is much more reassuring. will she react this way if she is ever ready to have caroline tell her everything? she's not so sure.

she has a long way to go before she reaches caroline's level of assurance. ]

Somewhere out there, you did.

[ somewhere out there, there's a caroline and a tyler who made it work, and they didn't have to run away for it. they just had to be free. ]

There were mischievous gods, too, not just real troublemakers like Loki. So sometimes Tyler's werewolfness was taken literally? And he'd be turned into a wolf puppy who'd follow you around. He was really cute.

[incontrovertible]

He - wait, a wolf puppy? He - That is rare, Elena. Normally wolf pups are younger werewolves. That's --

( Her eyes just - open wide and then crinkle like she's trying not to laugh. And then she just does. )

[buried]

Teleios was a very, very rare place.

[ elena feels a little triumphant at hearing her laughter, considering the stress caroline understandably carried with her upon entering the room. keeping that in mind, elena is going to fill caroline's glass up again whenever it starts to look empty. she takes a sip of her own, innocently. ]

I may have... almost slept with Apollo? [ the god of the sun and original bad boy, yes. ]

[incontrovertible]

( She nods, holding fingers under her nostrils as she catches her breath. She settles, a small mmm sound escaping. She grins and then raises her glass to toast to Tyler and his memory --

Wait. Her train of thought just derails )

The God of the Sun? Like, the Sun? Elena Gilbert.

( Very to taste. )

I don't know if I can top that. Not that I'd want to. We are not in high school anymore. But. Apollo the Sun god.

( Which means she -- may not have been with Stefan... )

[buried]

[ elena can't remember the last time she had a proper gossip session. the closest she came was with waverly as they had their little spa day, but they've been rightly focused on the veiled order and the threat it presents. if it wasn't for the fact she kept sipping bourbon as caroline talked, she might not have offered up the information.

hell will come crashing back down on them soon enough. ]

I — yes, I do! I have pictures!

[ well, of apollo just the one, but pictures in general, she has them. upon arrival, elena's duffle bag included an ipod that will seem practically ancient to caroline. she's been without internet for so long, caroline? anyhoo, elena disappears from the living room just long enough to return with the ipod.

and yes, apollo is essentially justin hartley except more godly. elena scoots into the couch once more to show her. ]

[incontrovertible]

( Elena's sipping and announces her pictures as Caroline finally takes a gulp from her glass. She takes more than intended from the surprise and eagerness. She can't stop the cough from the expelled air she never needs to breathe and she runs two fingers along her bottom lip. It's not her most ladylike moment. )

He -- do we need to start a drinking game?

( She takes the rest back and lets it burn down in all the right ways. )

Is this an iPod?

[buried]

[ a small laugh as she huddles close and offers the ipod to caroline, in case she wants to peruse. ]

I know, I know. This is probably a relic to you now, isn't it? [ do they even exist anymore? ]

[incontrovertible]

( hold her glass, Elena, (and refill it?), Caroline is scrolling. )

Oh, look. Me and Tyler. Me and wolf pup Tyler. You severely undersold how adorable he is. A dog. A - very cute man that's easy on the eyes and impeccably dressed? Metro or doomed to love boys? ( She tilts it toward Elena. ) Another woman I don't recognize. And a -- blur. Sure. It was Jeremy's dog. ( She looks over at that. To Caroline, Jeremy lied to Elena about art school. He went off on his own to hunt, and years later, he pitched in his own help with the Salvatore School. ) Jeremy was also there. Were we all there?

( How weird, to think different versions of all of them might have been in this Teleios. They pulled from the best and the worst. There are a few worsts she could think of - and one worst who, in her eyes, really redeemed himself. )

[buried]

[ (elena does both, and is maybe a little too generous with the refill, her hand not entirely steady.) ]

That's Neal! Metro, and way too charming for his own good. But an excellent cook who didn't mind making amazing food so I wouldn't have to. He was one of my best friends. [ her heart aches a little with how much she misses him, misses them all, but she focuses on clarifying things for caroline in favor of growing sad: the woman is buffy. the blur is buffy's dragon george, elena's other bff. the saint bernard is thor, not to be confused with actual god of thunder!thor, who sometimes visited teleios when loki needed to be reined back in. her eyes linger on the picture of jeremy, that ache growing louder. ]

Not all of us, and not everyone stuck around long enough, but kind of, yeah? [ matt was there. so was katherine, but they each stuck to their corners and played... mostly nice. and of course, the salvatores. the next picture is one of stefan, and that's when elena grows very, very quiet. ]

[incontrovertible]

( dragon? she asks. it sounds like Elena had bff's coming out of her rear! but, Caroline is so happy for her. if anybody deserves that many good friends, it's Elena Gilbert. )

I wish I could say I'm surprised our entire friend group was recruited across space and time.

( She exchanges the iPod and the glass, holding it steady in her hand. It's Stefan. )

I'm even less surprised the Salvatores were involved. ( She thinks. ) Or, was it just Stefan? ( They didn't always follow one another. ) I could see the Salvatores in Teleios and raise you the Salvatores recruited and corrupted by the devil himself...

( And to that she raises her glass. She plays for keeps. )

[buried]

[ elena accepts the exchange and takes the ipod back, her thumb brushing across the screen. stefan's face. ]

No, it was both.

[ but damon was more complicated. damon, too, had been somewhere else beyond teleios. a place that stole away your most precious memories. it stole her away, not unlike sybil did, and he couldn't remember her, much less love her. they eventually found... some kind of camaraderie, but it was different.

that's maybe a story for another day. caroline does raise her glass and the bar. ]

They were what? [ is that how stefan — she forces herself to be patient and give caroline the space to speak. ]

[incontrovertible]

It started with Damon. And a siren. She - ( Erased Elena from his mind. ) took his humanity. That siren and her sister were agents of Arcadius. ( From before. ) And then they came after Stefan. On Christmas Eve. Damon arrived uninvited with Sybil the siren and killed Stefan while we were all in the other room. That's where Cade threatened my girls. He threatened to take them away like he did the two siren sisters. And... Stefan gave in. And the only way he could stand it was to turn it off.

[buried]

Sirens. [ she sucks in a little breath.

elena is still wrapping her head around the concept there's so much more than they once thought. it started with vampires and witches. and then vampires and witches and werewolves. with malivore back in play, suddenly there's dragons and gargoyles. and before that, sirens.

though still composed, a tear rolls down her cheek and she's quick to wipe it. ] Of course. [ of course stefan would.

it's stefan, and it was the girls. he would choose nothing else but to save them. ]

[incontrovertible]

( before that sirens, and then heretics before that. travelers. more doppelgängers... and of course, original flavor Originals, Elena. they kept coming out of the woodwork. )

We got him back, Elena. Damon - broke. He, rebelled, and his mind sort of shattered but, after he came back with humanity...

( Well, they did get Stefan back but not before he took away the love of Bonnie's life. She gets quiet again, frowning and taking a drink. )

I'm sorry, there's not a lot of fun stories. Not from then. It got worse before it got better.

[buried]

It's okay.

[ she shakes her head, throat locking tight yet again and again. terror for damon. grief for — ]

It's not okay that it happened, but it's okay to tell me. I know — I know you love him, Care. And it's okay. I promise. [ she and stefan broke up a long time ago, but she'd want him to be happy for as long as he could be, and she'd want the same for caroline.

and if anyone could understand falling in love with him, it's elena gilbert. time for her to take a sip too, wooh. ]

[incontrovertible]

( She feels the pain Bonnie felt anew, knowing what Stefan was like in Caroline's time without him. Not just at Miss Mystic Falls, or when Damon was out of commission, but when he'd gone after Elena and the real estate agent Bonnie had used. And then finally Enzo.

Elena is right, however. It is okay. Just because it feels like she's back there doesn't mean she's not okay. She worked through it. She had her girls. It's not okay that it happened, but Elena has asked. So far, Elena's diverged from Jenna and it sounds like instead of denying her feelings and being drawn closer to Damon, she found a sun God. Good for her. Damon is still family, Damon will always be family. And she is so happy for the life Elena's made for herself. But, that is that Elena.

And this is the Elena sitting in front of her. And she loves them both. Almost as much as she'll always love Stefan. )

I always will. ( Her words reflect her thoughts to a t. She wants to make it clear, Elena and Stefan had been broken up for two years before she and Stefan were anything. A little more. Well, when they gave in to how they felt, not when she'd forced him and -- they'd slept with each other without their humanity. ) I was married and widowed on the same day. That's - that's what I'm keeping from you. He... was human. And, he made the choice to sacrifice himself, to save Damon. I wanted to be with him, but Alaric set me straight. I had my girls. I couldn't... put myself -- ( She exhales, shaky, and takes another drink. ) We fell in love. We really fell in love. And, like life tends to do to us, we were torn apart. And, a coven of witches transferred Jo's -- the twins' mother's babies into me. ( Her vampire uterus. ) But, we found our way back to each other. And then, Damon disappeared. And Cade came into the picture. Also, my nanny, Seline? Was the other siren sister, so that was something. Our wedding, as -- real as it felt and as real as our vows were, as real as they'll always be, it was... one big ploy to draw Katherine back out. Can you believe Katherine Pierce wanted the last word with Mystic Falls?

[buried]

[ her pain is shared, for all that elena has not lived it.

it's shared because she loves them: caroline, stefan, damon. it's shared because it hurts. her hand reaches out — it could do nothing else — to settle on top of caroline's. tears gather in her eyes again, warm and vibrant as ever, and elena doesn't fight them this time. she doesn't fight the feeling of grief that sits so familiar in the tender and bruised of her ribcage. it crawled inside of her one night under a damned bridge and never left her, not really. grief isn't something you defeat.

it's something you learn to make room for, and elena knows, she knows that her heart is big enough to hold this, even as it crushes her. no detail goes missed, but it's the feeling of it all that stays with her, and she'd sit with it for a bit longer if caroline hadn't said the dreaded k word.

blinking, she seizes a sharp little breath. ] I wish I could say I can't. Please tell me she didn't get it.

[incontrovertible]

( Caroline is the type that her grief is neatly tied into an impeccably gift-wrapped box. But, it's never forgotten or put away, and only opened when she doesn't have to be a parent, headmaster or recruiter. It still creeps itself open here and there. She is more secure about it, and she can even say Stefan's name without a tear coming to her eye. She'll always love him. But, being here is jarring enough, and holding it together for her daughters means she has nowhere else to displace it all.

With Elena she doesn't have to. )

She didn't. That was the sacrifice Stefan made to make sure she didn't get it. ( And more things that wouldn't -- help Elena here happened, it involved her and a now human Damon. But, she abides by her, 'what Elena must know' decree. And he was human, too, she keeps back, closing her eyes, a few more tears escaping. It's been a long time since she's really felt this. )

[buried]

[ at the sight of those tears, elena lets go of caroline's hand to slip an arm around her instead.

she brings caroline to her with that hold, a few tears slipping down her own face.

elena can see how strong caroline has become. not just in this moment, but all the moments before it: the months elena has co-existed alongside caroline's daughters, months in which she's seen the fierce little women caroline helped them become. but she doesn't have to be strong for elena. doesn't have to be the supermom, or any other title she's acquired. she can cry, and feel this stress, and the memory of her grief. she doesn't have to hold it inside. ]

[incontrovertible]

( She doesn't break down in Elena's arms, she doesn't think she has the luxury. Elena has lost so much, and Stefan was hers in the first place. It's something Caroline has long worked past, but, she respects what this Elena had and what it sounds like she never had. (With Stefan and Damon respectively.) She lets a few more tears slip out before pulling back, a smile still on her face. )

It's okay. I'm okay. It's been -- gosh, ten, twelve years.

( She uses one finger to wipe any remnants of tears away. )

I am, Elena. I'm okay.

( She really will always love him. She gives Elena a look they both know, Elena will be the first to know if Caroline isn't. )