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penancememes2021-05-25 01:59 am
penancemods) wrote in penancememes2021-05-25 01:59 am
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TEST DRIVE MEME #24
Arrival
"Judgement has come upon you. God has deemed you worthy of Hell. But don't worry, it can still be undone," comes a soothing voice that echoes all around you. The voice promises comfort, hope even.
It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.
It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.
And so you do.
Darkness consumes you for a second.
Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody with a contract clutched in their uninjured hand that they don't remember signing.
Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples.
If they look at the list in their hand, they'll notice it's written on with their blood. That explains the wound then. It's an old piece of parchment that details every sin they've committed.
As they move along the queue, they'll find a demon waiting to pass them a communication device that looks almost like a very old Blackberry type phone.
"Welcome to Penance," the demon says gruffly before motioning them on without an ounce of courtesy. "Don't hold up the line. This trip is gonna take longer, but at least you get a vacation..."
Once characters have their device and their contracts, they're ushered further down the hall until they come to a set of stairs. They seem to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon what appears to be a door that's alight with white energy. Stepping through, they find themselves on an island.
There's a demon with striking animal features waiting at the start of a long path where an old castle can be seen looming over a quaint, old village. There's music on the air, celebrations clearly taking place. It's explained that while Lucifer rests and recovers, Mammon will be taking his place. Hell is, for the moment, a pleasurable experience they will heartily insist.
Unfortunately, there is a bit of a trek ahead still. The demon urges them on.
Stand Your Ground The weather is crisp and pleasant in Mammon's domain. It seems to always be a beautiful day and a beautiful night, no matter what. Sinners should rejoice since this isn't very often the case when it comes to the actual Penance community.
While the energy in the air is as pleasant as ever, it's becoming quite obvious that there are unusual creatures roaming the area. Large dragons circle the woods surrounding the village and lately and often attempt to add to their hoard, other oddities have been slithering out. Chimeras of multiple animals wander free in any horrifying combination one can think of. Deer mixed with creatures far more predatory, bears mixed with wolves, other animals are sewn together in grotesque ways. It seems that with Mammon's attention directed towards the battle, he lost a bit of control over his... projects.
Some are aggressive, others are not. They are all, however, a very alarming show of Mammon's greed and lust for more.
Not to worry! Mammon and his servants will assure everyone that the situation is perfectly under control and that the animals are suffering very little to not at all. He just needs a piece to the puzzle to make certain that these new beasts have a productive, happy life. He will also be offering rewards to those who catch these critters unharmed and return them to the castle for safe keeping.
Rewards may take the form of extra food at the taverns, special rooms at the brothels, or a makeover at the salon and fine clothing to match.
Aside from the projects running around, guests may be delighted to see miniature dragons gallivanting around, no larger than the standard chihuahua but most the size of a palm. Some puff little bits of flame, others carry a slightly poisonous bite, but they're all absolutely adorable... and absolutely escaped the pet shop. To prevent larger animals from eating these little guys up, the shop is encouraging everyone to catch one or two or three. They may either choose to keep the little guys or hand them back to the store for safekeeping and a reward of golden Lucifer tokens for the upcoming Dark Carnival.
That's right! It's almost that time of the year again, folks! It seems like the annual affair will be held at Mammon's domain rather than Penance proper. There are promises of no clowns or human zoos this time around, so... that's a positive, right? A section of the village has been roped off and citizens are busy at work setting up decorations, booths, and a few other attractions such as rides and what appears to be a haunted house in a decrepit old building in the village. Careful! Whatever objects are being moved into the establishment do seem to carry actual spirits attached to them.
Should guests be inclined, they may offer a helping hand, but they will not be forced to do so this time.
Everybody Needs a Holiday While it may be a little disorienting to not only go to Hell, but to be on a sudden vacation, Mammon’s domain is actually very inviting!
Upon entry, there is lively music in the streets and, worth noting, the demons in this area of Hell seem far more hedonistic than those found in Penance proper. They wear fine clothing, silks and furs, and expensive jewelry. A lot of them have adopted animal characteristics or sport various types of body modifications. They're strangely beautiful creatures overall. Although with all of Mammon's 'projects' on the loose, it does make one wonder if they've adopted these characteristics naturally or if there's something more sinister going on...
Best to not wonder about that so much.
The village itself is quaint and old-fashioned, but everyone seems to be rather pleasant. There may be darker aspects to explore for those inclined, but they are nowhere near apparent on the surface. It's sure to be uncovered later, however...
The incubi and succubi in this area seem to be particularly breathtaking and enticing, but sinners will be urged back on track, should anyone seem to be drifting. There will be time to explore later!
For now, everyone will be encouraged to go to the castle and be shown to their rooms. While they will follow the usual housing assignments to avoid further upset to the sinners' routine, the floor plans will be a bit different. Bathing will be done in communal areas with walls separating the showers and large baths that always seem to run the perfect temperature. None of the rooms will have private bathrooms or kitchens attached. All rooms will have a common area attached to lounge in, however. It will have plenty of available seating for entertaining.
No one will have private kitchens, but room service is available at all hours with anything the sinners could desire available. Maybe even things they never thought they would...
TVs, computers, and other familiar electronics will be unavailable and non-existent in Mammon's realm, but there is a library contained within the castle with fiction and non-fiction from Earth (and beyond) all available for perusing. Devices will continue to function as normal.
Mammon's garden will be available for viewing. In every establishment and all around the castle, there's a cider available freely that seems to encourage a good mood and lower inhibitions. The effects aren't overwhelming, but the more one drinks, the stronger they may become as it builds up. Each night, there will also be an option to attend dinner in a rather grand hall, which Mammon frequently attends. There's always a large spread of food and spiced wines and ales available, as well as decadent desserts and other tempting treats. There's frequently live music or succubi dancing for entertainment.
Overall, the atmosphere in Mammon's realm seems to be focused on luxury, indulgence, greed, and sloth.
[It's recommended that everyone read thoroughly through the new location information as it contains helpful hints on what there is to do while on this vacation! It has a list of shops, animals, vendors, etc. Plus a little bit of information regarding Mammon's land itself.]
Reach Up High For those who still desire to work on their contracts and remove sins from their list despite the fact this is a vacation, there will be opportunities available! They won't even require suffering... much. Rounding up creatures, saving dragons, or helping the carnival set up are all considered good enough deeds to remove one sin from a contract. This is one sin over all, not per deed.
At least it doesn't require any painful torture... though there may be opportunity abound for that as well, if someone wants to go that route...
Under the Surface Of course this is still Hell. There has to be something going on once in a while, right? Walk down just the right street and sinners may see delectable tortures being carried out in seedy back alley establishments. Loving cuts with knives, harsh blows with whips while your sins are repeated for all to hear. Even the torture seems to have a hedonistic approach and debauchery about it.
Are the victims truly suffering or are they being redeemed in the best of ways? Those who decide to participate may soon realize that the cider everyone has been consuming seems to add a layer of euphoria to pain and punishments. While this isn't necessarily sexual in nature, it encourages a sense of good well-being after and sinners may become addicted to pain.
The crash may not be too fun though, watch out for that.
There are also other vendors in this area that are offering drugs of all varieties, as well as questionable photos of other sinners engaging in true acts of misdeed, unlike the comic shop that seems to be more embarrassing than not. Perfect chance to get that blackmail of your enemy killing that guy...
There seems to be a new vendor in town too. The figure's table seems to be set up like a fortune teller's booth, complete with a crystal ball and the pungent smell of cheap incense. He beckons those who dare look near, urges them to take a seat in front of the booth. The figure remains in dark robes, hood drawn to obscure their face. The only visible part of them seem to be their hands. Unlike the animal-like demons of Mammon's domain, this one seems to have human hands with sharp, yellowed nails. They offer knowledge in exchange for something you will not miss in return, they assure. What is it? Well, they refuse to say. Nothing important, nothing important.
Ask anything! It can be about a specific occurrence back home, the answer to life, the universe, and everything, or something as simple as what does Lucifer truly want. Keep in mind that a price will be taken down the line and it may not be something the sinner actually wanted to lose. Ah, well...
[For knowledge based transactions, please respond here. If a character asks a question of their homeworld or something in their future, players may assume they are told a bit of information on the topic without waiting for mod approval. If a character asks something related to Hell, please wait for a response. Regardless of answer type, please respond to the thread linked here so that you can later receive a decision on what your character has given up for this knowledge. It may be a memory, a temporary loss of a sense, a year or so off their lives (when they return home), lack of resilience to sin, etc. Please be aware that signing up does mean consequences at a later date... and these may not come from Mammon or Lucifer.]
Follow Me Down WARNINGS: sexual themes, animal-like behavior, dub/non-con potentials, implied bathroom play, mating.
It seems there's a trickster somewhere, somehow who spiked the cider. Naughty little devil! Those who are unfortunate enough to drink the tainted cider may find themselves developing animal-like traits, such as enhanced senses, animalistic urges, and a general need to be territorial or possessive. They may find the urge to keep to their pack or to branch out and find a new one. This may also result in features, such as fangs or claw-like nails that may or may not retract. Sinners will find themselves reverting back to a primal nature that they may not be able to resist.
How utterly embarrassing!
Don't worry, these effects only last a couple days at most before they will fade completely! Unfortunately, 'animal-like traits' may also extend to mating rituals. Sinners may find themselves going into heat. While knotting or other traits will not be apparent, sinners will find themselves desperate for intimate contact. This may mean a poor sinner in heat will be mated by several lovers in a row as their scent inevitably draws them in, there may also be possessive behavior displayed that results in biting and marking, and others wanting to mark their territory in ways that would make even the most seasoned succubus blush.
It may also mean those inflicted with the heat-like state, will present themselves to those they find attractive as mates or find other ways to entice them to get what they want.
Wildcard/Misc. Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.
And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the June 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.
Navigation
| Premise
| Arrival
| FAQ
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes
It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.
It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.
And so you do.
Darkness consumes you for a second.
Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody with a contract clutched in their uninjured hand that they don't remember signing.
Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples.
If they look at the list in their hand, they'll notice it's written on with their blood. That explains the wound then. It's an old piece of parchment that details every sin they've committed.
As they move along the queue, they'll find a demon waiting to pass them a communication device that looks almost like a very old Blackberry type phone.
"Welcome to Penance," the demon says gruffly before motioning them on without an ounce of courtesy. "Don't hold up the line. This trip is gonna take longer, but at least you get a vacation..."
Once characters have their device and their contracts, they're ushered further down the hall until they come to a set of stairs. They seem to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon what appears to be a door that's alight with white energy. Stepping through, they find themselves on an island.
There's a demon with striking animal features waiting at the start of a long path where an old castle can be seen looming over a quaint, old village. There's music on the air, celebrations clearly taking place. It's explained that while Lucifer rests and recovers, Mammon will be taking his place. Hell is, for the moment, a pleasurable experience they will heartily insist.
Unfortunately, there is a bit of a trek ahead still. The demon urges them on.
Stand Your Ground The weather is crisp and pleasant in Mammon's domain. It seems to always be a beautiful day and a beautiful night, no matter what. Sinners should rejoice since this isn't very often the case when it comes to the actual Penance community.
While the energy in the air is as pleasant as ever, it's becoming quite obvious that there are unusual creatures roaming the area. Large dragons circle the woods surrounding the village and lately and often attempt to add to their hoard, other oddities have been slithering out. Chimeras of multiple animals wander free in any horrifying combination one can think of. Deer mixed with creatures far more predatory, bears mixed with wolves, other animals are sewn together in grotesque ways. It seems that with Mammon's attention directed towards the battle, he lost a bit of control over his... projects.
Some are aggressive, others are not. They are all, however, a very alarming show of Mammon's greed and lust for more.
Not to worry! Mammon and his servants will assure everyone that the situation is perfectly under control and that the animals are suffering very little to not at all. He just needs a piece to the puzzle to make certain that these new beasts have a productive, happy life. He will also be offering rewards to those who catch these critters unharmed and return them to the castle for safe keeping.
Rewards may take the form of extra food at the taverns, special rooms at the brothels, or a makeover at the salon and fine clothing to match.
Aside from the projects running around, guests may be delighted to see miniature dragons gallivanting around, no larger than the standard chihuahua but most the size of a palm. Some puff little bits of flame, others carry a slightly poisonous bite, but they're all absolutely adorable... and absolutely escaped the pet shop. To prevent larger animals from eating these little guys up, the shop is encouraging everyone to catch one or two or three. They may either choose to keep the little guys or hand them back to the store for safekeeping and a reward of golden Lucifer tokens for the upcoming Dark Carnival.
That's right! It's almost that time of the year again, folks! It seems like the annual affair will be held at Mammon's domain rather than Penance proper. There are promises of no clowns or human zoos this time around, so... that's a positive, right? A section of the village has been roped off and citizens are busy at work setting up decorations, booths, and a few other attractions such as rides and what appears to be a haunted house in a decrepit old building in the village. Careful! Whatever objects are being moved into the establishment do seem to carry actual spirits attached to them.
Should guests be inclined, they may offer a helping hand, but they will not be forced to do so this time.
Everybody Needs a Holiday While it may be a little disorienting to not only go to Hell, but to be on a sudden vacation, Mammon’s domain is actually very inviting!
Upon entry, there is lively music in the streets and, worth noting, the demons in this area of Hell seem far more hedonistic than those found in Penance proper. They wear fine clothing, silks and furs, and expensive jewelry. A lot of them have adopted animal characteristics or sport various types of body modifications. They're strangely beautiful creatures overall. Although with all of Mammon's 'projects' on the loose, it does make one wonder if they've adopted these characteristics naturally or if there's something more sinister going on...
Best to not wonder about that so much.
The village itself is quaint and old-fashioned, but everyone seems to be rather pleasant. There may be darker aspects to explore for those inclined, but they are nowhere near apparent on the surface. It's sure to be uncovered later, however...
The incubi and succubi in this area seem to be particularly breathtaking and enticing, but sinners will be urged back on track, should anyone seem to be drifting. There will be time to explore later!
For now, everyone will be encouraged to go to the castle and be shown to their rooms. While they will follow the usual housing assignments to avoid further upset to the sinners' routine, the floor plans will be a bit different. Bathing will be done in communal areas with walls separating the showers and large baths that always seem to run the perfect temperature. None of the rooms will have private bathrooms or kitchens attached. All rooms will have a common area attached to lounge in, however. It will have plenty of available seating for entertaining.
No one will have private kitchens, but room service is available at all hours with anything the sinners could desire available. Maybe even things they never thought they would...
TVs, computers, and other familiar electronics will be unavailable and non-existent in Mammon's realm, but there is a library contained within the castle with fiction and non-fiction from Earth (and beyond) all available for perusing. Devices will continue to function as normal.
Mammon's garden will be available for viewing. In every establishment and all around the castle, there's a cider available freely that seems to encourage a good mood and lower inhibitions. The effects aren't overwhelming, but the more one drinks, the stronger they may become as it builds up. Each night, there will also be an option to attend dinner in a rather grand hall, which Mammon frequently attends. There's always a large spread of food and spiced wines and ales available, as well as decadent desserts and other tempting treats. There's frequently live music or succubi dancing for entertainment.
Overall, the atmosphere in Mammon's realm seems to be focused on luxury, indulgence, greed, and sloth.
[It's recommended that everyone read thoroughly through the new location information as it contains helpful hints on what there is to do while on this vacation! It has a list of shops, animals, vendors, etc. Plus a little bit of information regarding Mammon's land itself.]
Reach Up High For those who still desire to work on their contracts and remove sins from their list despite the fact this is a vacation, there will be opportunities available! They won't even require suffering... much. Rounding up creatures, saving dragons, or helping the carnival set up are all considered good enough deeds to remove one sin from a contract. This is one sin over all, not per deed.
At least it doesn't require any painful torture... though there may be opportunity abound for that as well, if someone wants to go that route...
Under the Surface Of course this is still Hell. There has to be something going on once in a while, right? Walk down just the right street and sinners may see delectable tortures being carried out in seedy back alley establishments. Loving cuts with knives, harsh blows with whips while your sins are repeated for all to hear. Even the torture seems to have a hedonistic approach and debauchery about it.
Are the victims truly suffering or are they being redeemed in the best of ways? Those who decide to participate may soon realize that the cider everyone has been consuming seems to add a layer of euphoria to pain and punishments. While this isn't necessarily sexual in nature, it encourages a sense of good well-being after and sinners may become addicted to pain.
The crash may not be too fun though, watch out for that.
There are also other vendors in this area that are offering drugs of all varieties, as well as questionable photos of other sinners engaging in true acts of misdeed, unlike the comic shop that seems to be more embarrassing than not. Perfect chance to get that blackmail of your enemy killing that guy...
There seems to be a new vendor in town too. The figure's table seems to be set up like a fortune teller's booth, complete with a crystal ball and the pungent smell of cheap incense. He beckons those who dare look near, urges them to take a seat in front of the booth. The figure remains in dark robes, hood drawn to obscure their face. The only visible part of them seem to be their hands. Unlike the animal-like demons of Mammon's domain, this one seems to have human hands with sharp, yellowed nails. They offer knowledge in exchange for something you will not miss in return, they assure. What is it? Well, they refuse to say. Nothing important, nothing important.
Ask anything! It can be about a specific occurrence back home, the answer to life, the universe, and everything, or something as simple as what does Lucifer truly want. Keep in mind that a price will be taken down the line and it may not be something the sinner actually wanted to lose. Ah, well...
[For knowledge based transactions, please respond here. If a character asks a question of their homeworld or something in their future, players may assume they are told a bit of information on the topic without waiting for mod approval. If a character asks something related to Hell, please wait for a response. Regardless of answer type, please respond to the thread linked here so that you can later receive a decision on what your character has given up for this knowledge. It may be a memory, a temporary loss of a sense, a year or so off their lives (when they return home), lack of resilience to sin, etc. Please be aware that signing up does mean consequences at a later date... and these may not come from Mammon or Lucifer.]
Follow Me Down WARNINGS: sexual themes, animal-like behavior, dub/non-con potentials, implied bathroom play, mating.
It seems there's a trickster somewhere, somehow who spiked the cider. Naughty little devil! Those who are unfortunate enough to drink the tainted cider may find themselves developing animal-like traits, such as enhanced senses, animalistic urges, and a general need to be territorial or possessive. They may find the urge to keep to their pack or to branch out and find a new one. This may also result in features, such as fangs or claw-like nails that may or may not retract. Sinners will find themselves reverting back to a primal nature that they may not be able to resist.
How utterly embarrassing!
Don't worry, these effects only last a couple days at most before they will fade completely! Unfortunately, 'animal-like traits' may also extend to mating rituals. Sinners may find themselves going into heat. While knotting or other traits will not be apparent, sinners will find themselves desperate for intimate contact. This may mean a poor sinner in heat will be mated by several lovers in a row as their scent inevitably draws them in, there may also be possessive behavior displayed that results in biting and marking, and others wanting to mark their territory in ways that would make even the most seasoned succubus blush.
It may also mean those inflicted with the heat-like state, will present themselves to those they find attractive as mates or find other ways to entice them to get what they want.
Wildcard/Misc. Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.
And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the June 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes
no subject
She's quiet for a moment, studying him. It's not that she doesn't believe him. It's just that it's hard to wrap her head around, and seeing him like this, not the way he'd been earlier, she doesn't quite understand yet just how far things had gone. How much he'd been changed.
What he does say sounds like it could be useful, especially to a tracker like Daryl. He does sound a little awed, under his distress. But on the whole, she's glad she'd missed out on that particular experience. ]
Is it - permanent?
no subject
I don't think so. [ He says it slowly, though he doesn't exactly sound hopeful or relieved about it. ] These are already smaller. [ He sucks on his teeth for emphasis. ]
And... I ain't like I was today. Like a... like an animal. [ He winces just saying it out loud. ] It's goin' away.
[ But with it, so is any last remaining sense of safety he'd had here. He's not sure how to ever trust himself again. ]
no subject
You got through it.
[ Her mind's working even as she tries to exude calm, trying to figure out exactly what he needs from her right now. With a start, she realizes how he must have found her here, even though she'd never told him where she was staying. Tracked her here by scent.
He'd searched her out when he was scared and alone, even after everything that had happened between them. It has to be worth something. ]
You look exhausted, pookie.
[ She shifts a little, back against the wall next to him on the bed, and reaches out to squeeze his hand. ]
You should get some rest.
no subject
[ He doesn't know if he agrees that he got through it. He'd left something of himself behind today, he just knows he won't know quite what for a little while. He might be great at reading others, but he's never been good at turning that same skill on himself.
But the name makes him grunt, a sound halfway between irritated and embarrassed. ]
Don't start with that again.
[ It stings a little, that she would use that little nickname she'd given him when things were at their very easiest. When they were still a little closer to who they'd been than the people they'd become.
But he's trying not to think about that here, so he forces himself to give her a half-smirk. ]
What d'you think I came here for? You're the one askin' all the questions.
no subject
Except it hadn't been petty, and though he'd reassured her he could never hate her, that she still had him on her side, she knows things have changed between them. As desperately as she misses their old easy camraderie, uncomplicated and honest, she's not sure how to get it back. Or if it's even possible anymore.
It's almost pathetic how relieved she feels at the teasing smirk he gives her. She smiles back, grateful, and shakes her head. ]
You answered them.
[ Sort of, anyway. She gives his hand one last pat, then pulls back again, starting to push herself away from the wall to give him the bed. ]
The beds aren't half bad.
[ She's sure he'd been assigned his own, and just as sure he'd immediately scorned it and set up his own little camp outside somewhere instead. ]
no subject
He also doesn't want to find out if her understanding and forgiveness still mean the same thing to him as they once had.
But when she moves to get up, the instinct for easy physicality that he's been experiencing all day kicks into gear and he lets his head fall onto her shoulder so she'll have to actively dislodge him in order to get up.
He doesn't know what he wants from her, or if any words will work. He just doesn't want her to give him space. That's never helped him before and something in him, both real and dosed, is missing human connection now. ]
no subject
But she leans slowly back against the wall without question, accepting the unspoken request for what it is. Daryl doesn't need to say a word; she knows what he needs, even if he doesn't. Wordlessly, she settles back in, bringing her arm up to rub soothing circles against his back and bending her head down to drop a kiss on the top of his head. ]
It's okay.
[ Her voice is soft and soothing. She's been a mother four times over. Some things, you don't forget. ]
You're okay now.
no subject
But he has no idea what he would have done if she weren't here to retreat to. ]
Yeah. Says you.
[ But there's relief in his tired voice, right alongside the skepticism. ]
You're not the one I bit.
no subject
So I'm a little biased.
[ But she seems to be getting through a bit, so she keeps going, reassuring him as much as she can without having seen it, without knowing the details of what he'd been through. ]
You said stuff like this happens all the time. People will understand it wasn't really you.
And I'm sure you're not the only one who drank the cider.
no subject
[ But he can't help smiling slightly at the sound, somehow the exhaustion and embarrassment making him that little bit more amenable to laughing at himself. Usually, he's too sensitive for it, but now after the day he's had, it's a relief.
And she's right - no one had complained at the time, let alone been hurt. But that's hardly the point. ]
Ain't like that keeps it from bein' embarrassing.
[ He knows others have a far more relaxed approach to sex here. That they won't care about what's happened. That they welcomed it.
That doesn't change how utterly strange it is for him to feel those same urges. ]
I don't like showin' people someone that ain't me.
no subject
She hasn't made the connection to sex, assuming that whatever bestial urges Daryl had felt, they'd presented in less...intimate ways. So embarrassing throws her for a bit of a loop, her brow creasing faintly in confusion as she continues idly rubbing his back. ]
You used to. All the time.
[ But not anymore. Over the years, Daryl had slowly let the walls he'd put up to protect himself crumble away. He'd learned who he is, recognizing what he really cares about and embracing it, even as Carol had done the opposite.
She sighs, leaning her head back against the wall and giving him a squeeze. ]
But I don't think anyone's going to think you really...go around biting people.
They will understand.
no subject
This... is different. ]
That’s not... all I did to ‘em.
[ He realizes he’s telling her as it comes out. If he’s going to tell anyone, talk to anyone, it’s going to be her. So better to just get it over with.
Maybe then she’ll understand what he’ll be carrying around with him, now. ]
Not that they didn’t seem to like it. Just... don’t know how I’m gonna look ‘em in the face, after this.
no subject
Oh.
Her stomach tightens immediately into a hard knot, one that unravels again in sudden relief as soon as he adds that they seemed to like it. There's that. Thank god. He's beating himself up enough as it is; she can't imagine how messed up he'd be right now if that wasn't the case. He'd never forgive himself.
But even so, she knows his history, or more to the point, his almost complete lack thereof. She's quiet for a moment, thinking carefully. The last thing he needs right now is to feel in any way like he's being judged. By her, of all people. After he'd been brave enough to tell her.
Finally, she speaks, her voice gentle. ]
They didn't push you away.
They didn't say no.
Yeah?
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But he just shrugs at her questions. ]
No. They didn't. [ And then he sighs. ] Maybe if they had, I wouldn't've...
[ But there's no point dwelling on the 'what ifs'. He had. Best to just try and leave it behind, right? ]
This place... [ He turns his nose into her shoulder, his last instinct to nuzzle working its way out of him. ] It figured out how to get to me.
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Even now, she can sense the lingering effects as they fade, in Daryl's willingness to get close and...there's no other word for it but cuddle. All she can do is hope that he doesn't feel embarassed about that later on, too. She doesn't have the heart to push him away. ]
I know it's hard.
Was it with...someone you trust?
[ She's not sure if 'they' means he'd literally had multiple partners, or if he's being extra careful to be vague about whoever he'd been with, and she's not going to ask. ]
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When she finally speaks up again, he isn't expecting that specific question, especially here, where if he'd been asked in another way, he would have said there's no one here he trusts.
But maybe that isn't true. It takes him a long time to answer, but he knows that she of all people will wait for him. ]
Yeah, actually.
[ There's a softness in his voice that gives away how shocked he is about that revelation.
The two people he'd had to rely on the most here. It's like a sick joke. ]
But I think that makes it worse. So much for makin' friends.
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Still. ]
Better than a stranger, though.
They won't...use it against you, the way someone else might.
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[ He shrugs just slightly against her, thinking that if it had been a pair of strangers, that would cut the complications down quite a lot. He wouldn't necessarily have to talk to them ever again. He wouldn't have ruined what little he'd built here since arriving.
All in one day, too. It stings, realizing that. ]
Guess we'll see.
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Guess we will.
[ But for the moment, she just raises her head up to press another kiss to his hair, giving his shoulders a squeeze. ]
You should get some sleep.
I bet it'll look better tomorrow.
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It's just that this game Hell chose to play with him this particular time, has hit him in his deepest insecurities. ]
Mmm.
[ It's a tired, sad, yet agreeable sound, and when she kisses his hair he makes no move to shift off of her. If he didn't know how much his back would complain he'd sleep just like this, but with that in mind, he shifts so his head falls into her lap and lets his eyes slip closed. ]
That an invitation?
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Looks like I don't have a choice.
[ But the smile she casts down at him is fond and amused, and she shifts carefully so as not to dislodge him, positioning herself a little better against the wall so she won't wake up with her own back screaming in protest. One hand comes up to rest lightly on his shoulder, and she sighs, quiet and sleepy, her own eyes closing as she lets herself relax. She's slept in worse circumstances. Just having him close already has her feeling a little more secure, a little more like she's home and safe again. ]
Night, Daryl.
[ Maybe everything will be all right, after all. ]