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penancememes2021-08-25 12:50 am
penancemods) wrote in penancememes2021-08-25 12:50 am
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TEST DRIVE MEME #27
Arrival
"Judgement has come upon you. God has deemed you worthy of Hell. But don't worry, it can still be undone," comes a soothing voice that echoes all around you. The voice promises comfort, hope even.
It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.
It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.
And so you do.
Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, but only a second.
Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.
Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.
The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"
Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please continue on until you reach Death's office. He'll have your contracts ready for you."
There's a slightly wicked twist to her lips. "Please do feel free to ask him about any of those sins listed..."
And so on, sinners travel until they finally arrived at another office where Death sits waiting. Here is where you'll receive a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written on with their blood. That explains the wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. Death will also provide slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android.
Seems as though Hell has moved on up from the very old Blackberry type phone.
Once characters have their device and their contracts, they're ushered further down the hall. It seems to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon the lobby of Penance hotel. Once there, they will notice several shops and other areas around the front desk.
The demon at the front desk looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend sights to see around the hotel.
Stand Your Ground While the Mares have gone, as per Death's bargain with God, and reconstructing Penance is coming along fairly well, the air is carrying with it a cold crispness that sends a chill down one's spine. Lucifer is still nowhere to be found, and if pressured, staff will say he's having talks with the other Lords of Hell, as well as God himself. Things need to be worked out, no matter how difficult it is for Lucifer to accept and swallow his pride. He won't be around to offer warmth to the Penance community and it may, in fact, be mirroring his current mood.
Or it may be the creeping sense of doom that's following so many around now that The Veiled Order has been able to nearly complete their next spell. Local demons will plainly say that God won't help them against this threat, that he doesn't care if Hell is destroyed, and others will be very hush about the situation entirely. No need to scare the local sinners, new or old!
Instead just enjoy the reopening businesses around the local area! Nothing is off-limits. Hellburbia seems to have suffered some extensive damage recently, but not to worry! There's talk of building back better than ever.
Other than that, Helluva Cup has a new spiced drink... and spiced everything. That's right! Pumpkin spice has apparently come early this year... and it may be a bit overpowering and in everything in the coffee shop, regardless of what you order. Even Bean, the 'friendly' hell rat the owner keeps in the shop seems to be feasting on pumpkin flavored meat. That's probably okay. Right?
Penance Library is offering a special reading of Leviathan-specific reads. The local goblins will be doing readings every afternoon for all who care to listen or to stick around and discuss it. These will all be fictional in nature, not historic texts.
Strangely enough, there seems to be a sort of curfew happening. While everyone will not be expected to be in the hotel necessarily, they must take shelter in the newly opened Club Penance, Casino Styx, Hella Shorty's, or other establishments. They must either stay the night in these establishments or be escorted to the hotel by demonic guards. These guards will be doing rounds around the Penance community to ensure no one is out alone. Do not fight them or they may surprise you with how strong they can be.
Additionally, anyone caught defying curfew knowingly or fighting back will be locked in their rooms for up to three days as a potential danger to the community as a whole. There are all sorts of dangers lurking out there and the demons are absolutely trying to keep everyone as safe as they can!
Otherwise, it's business as usual around Penance, so go on an exploration! Bundle up against the cold! Have fun!
Reach Up High WARNINGS: cutting, blood, torture
Whether you've been here for months or you're freshly arrived, your demonic overlord unfortunately expects some participation despite the current state of things. You can try and shirk the responsibility, of course. You can bargain your way out of it for a while. But eventually, you may find yourself trapped in a room just off the gym that's been fondly dubbed The Torture Room. It has all manner of equipment in there, along with an iron maiden even.
But don't worry about any of that right now. It probably won't be used.
You can try the door, but even with super human strength or every lock picking skill in the book, you won't be able to open it.
It soon becomes apparent what you're supposed to do when someone else is eventually shoved in with you. Both of your lists of sins will appear on a table that's been placed in the center of the room with two handy knives. You can choose to guard these or not care at all that they're on display.
"Unfortunately, due to Father coming back into the picture, I know that He will demand punishment be delivered despite our circumstances. I have chosen a rather easy one, focused on honesty and acceptance of your sins. Please pick up a knife and choose a sin from each of your lists to carve upon your skin. Aid each other in your journey, carve the words to help your fellow penitent be candid with everyone around them!"
The voice rings out within the sinners' heads as it always does, although Lucifer seems agitated at the moment, hesitant in some way that he usually isn't.
"I do apologize for this. If it was up to me, you would have been free of additional torment this month. However, there will be additional incentive for anyone who should try to resist the task I've appointed them."
It isn't a lie nor an idle threat either. The longer you wait to do what's been requested of you, the more shallow cuts that will appear on both of your bodies. Are you really prepared to endure this pain when giving in would be so much easier?
And more than that, are you willing to let another suffer along with you?
Eventually, the cuts will stop if you suffer them long enough, but you'll have failed this challenge and sustained more damage than if you'd just gone along with it. Satan will also be very disappointed in you.
Follow Me Down
Prompt I: Reopening WARNINGS: sex, drugs, alcohol, aphrodisiacs, body changes, potential kinks, violence, potential non-con or dub-con.
Club Penance is finally back! And with themed nights to start off all the fun. This night's theme is: Anything But Clothes. Guests who enter the adult oriented side of the club will notice the incubi and succubi who serve in it are entirely without clothes (and any ounce of shame!). They're eager to get right back to business. They're very encouraging of others to do the same whether it be immediately or in sexy strip shows.
On their trays, they offer drinks and drugs of all sorts. Shows are being put on on the stage as usual, the offer of sex demos with guest participation are still on the table.
As usual, these demons play under respectable rules in the club, safe words and all. They will also gladly exit the stage and let guests entirely run the show. They're on their best behavior tonight, even if the natural aphrodisiacs they give off seem to be amped up
Guests who refused to undress may also find their clothes randomly disappearing, or being torn off by some eager patron or demon who is a bit too into the theme! Ah, well, no need to worry too much. There will be costumes and lingerie to slip on to go home in. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a walk of shame back to the hotel in nothing but a thong, they'll assure. It's just another night in Hell.
For those who are really adventurous, there are also special concoctions that the club offers. These include:
For the dance oriented portion of the club, the theme is a little more lax. Instead of outright nakedness, patrons may be offered revealing clubwear instead. Things that will look mesmerizing in the lights of the club ranging from neon colors to clothes that seem to flash on the dance floor. The music will be thrumming in the air, pumping down to your very bones as you dance the night away, and all patrons will feel good. It will feel as if they could actually dance all night if they so wanted, even without the aid of any drugs.
It will be an all night rave with all the party drugs and drinks one could want! Live music plays all night. The band also loves to receive requests, so knock yourself out! They seem to strangely know any song they're asked to play.
Knock yourself out, give up any care in the world and have fun. You're already in Hell, so don't you deserve to feel good for a while?
Prompt II: Your Average Hotel Night WARNINGS: Alcohol and drug abuse, potential non-con/dub-con
With all the sinners, new and old, the hotel bar will be lit up with activity. Drinks will be readily available, there's food in the kitchens if anyone wants to bother serving it, music will be blaring whenever there's electricity, and overall, there will be an energy to the atmosphere that's absolutely contagious. Even if you aren't typically inclined to linger at these sorts of events there may be be a certain pull to stay and have a bit of fun.
You might not get much of a chance to have that in Hell, after all. One drink won't hurt, right? Nor will one more after that, and after that. Ah, sweet gluttony. Why not have a pastry next? There's some delectable sweets available just a few steps away. More of a meat person? Like things salty? Fear not, it looks like someone graciously brought all sorts of snacks and foodstuffs from the kitchens to the bar as the night progresses. Indulge! You deserve it.
Similar to Club Penance, the bar also has every sort of drug available that might tickle your fancy and some you've never heard of. There's no harm in experimenting, is there? You're already in Hell. The staff will offer to show anyone how to use the drugs or give advice for what to try if you tell them what you want to experience. Shockingly, they won't lie! Their advice is good word its just you might not have been exactly prepared for it.
There's a stage and a karaoke machine for those feeling brave or just wanting to torture people with some sweet, sweet renditions of The Devil Went Down to Georgia.
There are tables set up for all sorts of gambling and various bar games to entertain yourself with. Since currency as most are familiar with it doesn't quite exist down here, most of the demons seem to be accepting bits of your soul or offers to do chores around the hotel. You may also get pulled into a fun game of strip poker against one of your fellow guests for a few succubi that are having a night out.
Relax and enjoy your night. Coming here and facing your sins is the hard part, so surely you deserve to have a little fun.
Wildcard/Misc. Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.
And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the September 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.
Navigation
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| FAQ
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes
It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.
It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.
And so you do.
Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, but only a second.
Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.
Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.
The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"
Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please continue on until you reach Death's office. He'll have your contracts ready for you."
There's a slightly wicked twist to her lips. "Please do feel free to ask him about any of those sins listed..."
And so on, sinners travel until they finally arrived at another office where Death sits waiting. Here is where you'll receive a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written on with their blood. That explains the wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. Death will also provide slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android.
Seems as though Hell has moved on up from the very old Blackberry type phone.
Once characters have their device and their contracts, they're ushered further down the hall. It seems to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon the lobby of Penance hotel. Once there, they will notice several shops and other areas around the front desk.
The demon at the front desk looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend sights to see around the hotel.
Stand Your Ground While the Mares have gone, as per Death's bargain with God, and reconstructing Penance is coming along fairly well, the air is carrying with it a cold crispness that sends a chill down one's spine. Lucifer is still nowhere to be found, and if pressured, staff will say he's having talks with the other Lords of Hell, as well as God himself. Things need to be worked out, no matter how difficult it is for Lucifer to accept and swallow his pride. He won't be around to offer warmth to the Penance community and it may, in fact, be mirroring his current mood.
Or it may be the creeping sense of doom that's following so many around now that The Veiled Order has been able to nearly complete their next spell. Local demons will plainly say that God won't help them against this threat, that he doesn't care if Hell is destroyed, and others will be very hush about the situation entirely. No need to scare the local sinners, new or old!
Instead just enjoy the reopening businesses around the local area! Nothing is off-limits. Hellburbia seems to have suffered some extensive damage recently, but not to worry! There's talk of building back better than ever.
Other than that, Helluva Cup has a new spiced drink... and spiced everything. That's right! Pumpkin spice has apparently come early this year... and it may be a bit overpowering and in everything in the coffee shop, regardless of what you order. Even Bean, the 'friendly' hell rat the owner keeps in the shop seems to be feasting on pumpkin flavored meat. That's probably okay. Right?
Penance Library is offering a special reading of Leviathan-specific reads. The local goblins will be doing readings every afternoon for all who care to listen or to stick around and discuss it. These will all be fictional in nature, not historic texts.
Strangely enough, there seems to be a sort of curfew happening. While everyone will not be expected to be in the hotel necessarily, they must take shelter in the newly opened Club Penance, Casino Styx, Hella Shorty's, or other establishments. They must either stay the night in these establishments or be escorted to the hotel by demonic guards. These guards will be doing rounds around the Penance community to ensure no one is out alone. Do not fight them or they may surprise you with how strong they can be.
Additionally, anyone caught defying curfew knowingly or fighting back will be locked in their rooms for up to three days as a potential danger to the community as a whole. There are all sorts of dangers lurking out there and the demons are absolutely trying to keep everyone as safe as they can!
Otherwise, it's business as usual around Penance, so go on an exploration! Bundle up against the cold! Have fun!
Reach Up High WARNINGS: cutting, blood, torture
Whether you've been here for months or you're freshly arrived, your demonic overlord unfortunately expects some participation despite the current state of things. You can try and shirk the responsibility, of course. You can bargain your way out of it for a while. But eventually, you may find yourself trapped in a room just off the gym that's been fondly dubbed The Torture Room. It has all manner of equipment in there, along with an iron maiden even.
But don't worry about any of that right now. It probably won't be used.
You can try the door, but even with super human strength or every lock picking skill in the book, you won't be able to open it.
It soon becomes apparent what you're supposed to do when someone else is eventually shoved in with you. Both of your lists of sins will appear on a table that's been placed in the center of the room with two handy knives. You can choose to guard these or not care at all that they're on display.
"Unfortunately, due to Father coming back into the picture, I know that He will demand punishment be delivered despite our circumstances. I have chosen a rather easy one, focused on honesty and acceptance of your sins. Please pick up a knife and choose a sin from each of your lists to carve upon your skin. Aid each other in your journey, carve the words to help your fellow penitent be candid with everyone around them!"
The voice rings out within the sinners' heads as it always does, although Lucifer seems agitated at the moment, hesitant in some way that he usually isn't.
"I do apologize for this. If it was up to me, you would have been free of additional torment this month. However, there will be additional incentive for anyone who should try to resist the task I've appointed them."
It isn't a lie nor an idle threat either. The longer you wait to do what's been requested of you, the more shallow cuts that will appear on both of your bodies. Are you really prepared to endure this pain when giving in would be so much easier?
And more than that, are you willing to let another suffer along with you?
Eventually, the cuts will stop if you suffer them long enough, but you'll have failed this challenge and sustained more damage than if you'd just gone along with it. Satan will also be very disappointed in you.
Follow Me Down
Prompt I: Reopening WARNINGS: sex, drugs, alcohol, aphrodisiacs, body changes, potential kinks, violence, potential non-con or dub-con.
Club Penance is finally back! And with themed nights to start off all the fun. This night's theme is: Anything But Clothes. Guests who enter the adult oriented side of the club will notice the incubi and succubi who serve in it are entirely without clothes (and any ounce of shame!). They're eager to get right back to business. They're very encouraging of others to do the same whether it be immediately or in sexy strip shows.
On their trays, they offer drinks and drugs of all sorts. Shows are being put on on the stage as usual, the offer of sex demos with guest participation are still on the table.
As usual, these demons play under respectable rules in the club, safe words and all. They will also gladly exit the stage and let guests entirely run the show. They're on their best behavior tonight, even if the natural aphrodisiacs they give off seem to be amped up
Guests who refused to undress may also find their clothes randomly disappearing, or being torn off by some eager patron or demon who is a bit too into the theme! Ah, well, no need to worry too much. There will be costumes and lingerie to slip on to go home in. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a walk of shame back to the hotel in nothing but a thong, they'll assure. It's just another night in Hell.
For those who are really adventurous, there are also special concoctions that the club offers. These include:
Frenzy ○ The drug will be given to anyone anyone who asks for it. It can be snorted, injected, taken in pill form, or smoked given user preference.
Despite the questionable name, guests who partake really will feel the best they've possibly ever felt. They won't need sleep or to rest, but they won't necessarily feel the strain on their bodies either. They'll be full of energy and their mood will be amazing with no hint of nightmares or dreams anywhere.
The demons won't let anyone come down either, not once they've started and not until they're told a guest doesn't want any more.
Even then, they may still try to convince them otherwise. It's a party for as long as you can go, or until you completely burn out, it seems.
But with all good things come bad. It seems a side-effect of the drug is an actual frenzy as well. A frenzy for sex or violence or anything a character might want that they deny themselves on the regular. They'll feel this growing hunger, this ravenous need to have and to claim everything they think is theirs.
Some may even fade away into an almost animalistic sort of state.
The more the guest takes, the more they'll experience this sensation. Fighting it won't help either. Though they did sort of bring that one on themselves, didn't they?
Other symptoms of coming down won't be too different to those of other drugs. Fatigue, depression. Guests will begin to feel the effects of staying up for so long without rest or stopping to take care of themselves. They may also feel a certain longing for more, but it can be fought off with enough strength of will.
The drug isn't free either. The succubi expect to be paid in energy or through actual work in the club.
Bond ○ A potion that will bond guests together the minute one speaks to the other. The encouragement is that this should be done consensually, but the demons won't necessarily be checking. Once bonded, guests will feel what the one who took the potion feels. This includes pain and pleasure both with effects lasting a full night. Give someone the most intense pleasure of their lives or torture them until they beg for mercy!
For a really intense experience, both participants can consume the potion with mutual effects.
For the dance oriented portion of the club, the theme is a little more lax. Instead of outright nakedness, patrons may be offered revealing clubwear instead. Things that will look mesmerizing in the lights of the club ranging from neon colors to clothes that seem to flash on the dance floor. The music will be thrumming in the air, pumping down to your very bones as you dance the night away, and all patrons will feel good. It will feel as if they could actually dance all night if they so wanted, even without the aid of any drugs.
It will be an all night rave with all the party drugs and drinks one could want! Live music plays all night. The band also loves to receive requests, so knock yourself out! They seem to strangely know any song they're asked to play.
Knock yourself out, give up any care in the world and have fun. You're already in Hell, so don't you deserve to feel good for a while?
Prompt II: Your Average Hotel Night WARNINGS: Alcohol and drug abuse, potential non-con/dub-con
With all the sinners, new and old, the hotel bar will be lit up with activity. Drinks will be readily available, there's food in the kitchens if anyone wants to bother serving it, music will be blaring whenever there's electricity, and overall, there will be an energy to the atmosphere that's absolutely contagious. Even if you aren't typically inclined to linger at these sorts of events there may be be a certain pull to stay and have a bit of fun.
You might not get much of a chance to have that in Hell, after all. One drink won't hurt, right? Nor will one more after that, and after that. Ah, sweet gluttony. Why not have a pastry next? There's some delectable sweets available just a few steps away. More of a meat person? Like things salty? Fear not, it looks like someone graciously brought all sorts of snacks and foodstuffs from the kitchens to the bar as the night progresses. Indulge! You deserve it.
Similar to Club Penance, the bar also has every sort of drug available that might tickle your fancy and some you've never heard of. There's no harm in experimenting, is there? You're already in Hell. The staff will offer to show anyone how to use the drugs or give advice for what to try if you tell them what you want to experience. Shockingly, they won't lie! Their advice is good word its just you might not have been exactly prepared for it.
There's a stage and a karaoke machine for those feeling brave or just wanting to torture people with some sweet, sweet renditions of The Devil Went Down to Georgia.
There are tables set up for all sorts of gambling and various bar games to entertain yourself with. Since currency as most are familiar with it doesn't quite exist down here, most of the demons seem to be accepting bits of your soul or offers to do chores around the hotel. You may also get pulled into a fun game of strip poker against one of your fellow guests for a few succubi that are having a night out.
Relax and enjoy your night. Coming here and facing your sins is the hard part, so surely you deserve to have a little fun.
Wildcard/Misc. Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.
And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the September 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes
no subject
A test of limits, of trust, of how far one would push or how much they would pull back.
Noah watched Kaz’s face the entire time the glove was removed, and his own hand stayed still where it was offered. And it remained still, limp the entire time Kaz had a hold of it. His fingers didn’t curl, didn’t grip, didn’t demand that the touch linger any longer than Kaz wanted it to.
But his eyes closed almost immediately; walls slammed up in place, blocking out everything else around them until it was just Kaz. Just Jesper. Just him. Jesper was easy to find; he could feel his anxiousness, and he nudged it aside.
The chill went straight to his bones almost immediately. It wasn’t pretty. It was a whole other nightmare of emotions. Every single one was cold, and void, and scraped against the inside of his entire being. A sensation he couldn’t describe if anyone else bee asked it of him. But he stayed still, he didn’t cower away from it, he took it in and memorized it. Catalogued everything into a neat little box that he slammed the lid on when he felt Kaz’s hand pull away.
It felt like being ran over by a tornado, finding the calm center and then having it tear you apart as it left leaving nothing but empty chaos.
He swallowed a lump in his throat and his fingertips finally curled ever so slightly before he opened his eyes. If anything was going to sober him up, it was this.
Everything around him was still drowned out; the music, the lights, everything. For this moment he just watched Kaz’s face. It wasn’t pity. He didn’t pity him. He thought about the way that felt. He thought about the stubborn determination Kaz always wore.
“I know you can move past that, Kaz,” he says confidently, quiet, but sure, “You’re gonna hate me for a lot of it. But I won’t let you drown.”
no subject
"I'm breathing," he snaps, but it's a little shallow yet. In. Out. In. He can control this. He has to. He cannot unravel at the seams in the middle of this booth.
The unwavering way Noah keeps his focus on him just makes him dizzy. Or that's everything else still running circles in his head. But either way. He doesn't try again. Doesn't reach for him at all. And it's those things, so small, so almost throw-away, that keep Noah inside his inner circle here. He pushes, but never too far, always pulls back when it's obvious he needs to. Too bad Kaz is terrible at expressing things like appreciation for things like that.
"Well, that makes one of us." the snap has a little more bite to it this time, though still not quite in full force. He doesn't enjoy admitting weakness, but he supposes there's no sense hiding his uncertainty in the wake of all that.
no subject
"...Two of us. It's not going to be an easy go of it, but--" But this was a start wasn't it? Terrible as it was, he was still here putting up with it all. That should count for something in the greater scheme of things. "Risk is worth the potential reward."
no subject
Noah stole a glance at Jesper before once more settling on Kaz.
“It’s not weakness to be afraid of your past,” he mutters and absently reaches up to brush his fingers over his cheekbone; tracing over his own past before he carefully lifts the hat from his head and offers it back up to the Crow in front of him. “Weakness is letting it consume you without trying to claw your way out of it.”
Everything felt heavy now and his chest hurt as he swallowed down a slurry of emotions. His. Jespers. Kaz’s. But at least now he knew for certain just how stormy the sea was going to be.
“You know…it’s really shitty being me right now cause I really want to just fucking —“ his fingers flex but he keeps them in his lap, “— hug you but you’re you. And you annoy me for that.”
no subject
Growing up in the slums of the Barrel of Ketterdam says Noah's thought is wrong. A lie on the tongue of a fox prepared to strike when least expected. But. Noah didn't grow up there. He has not yet betrayed him. Kaz has no reason not to believe him, except that he can't allow himself to– he can't see it as anything except weakness. Something to be discovered. Exploited. Like Hell has already done once, now. Could so easily do again. All it takes is being forced into a plain t-shirt, his gloves being stolen from him, and the slight brush of someone's hand against his arm in what's probably arbitrary, random, unthinking from another person.
But that part about clawing his way out? That resonates a chord long driven deep into the core of him. It's what he's done since he was a kid, in one way or another. Even though he really doesn't know what to say to that, a sense of understanding still passes across his features. Noah will get it, he always does, even when Kaz can't put words to things.
"I know the feeling," he says, arching his eyebrows at him. Et tu, Noah?
no subject
Jesper, for his part, stays quiet, his gaze drifting between Noah and Kaz and trying to get a firm read on them both. He knew well enough that Noah was trying at whatever this help--therapy?--was meant to be for Kaz, but there was something more there, something he couldn't quite reach or touch on. It was a feeling he was getting used to when it came to Noah.
Kaz was, as ever, a bit of a mystery. He could still feel the resonance of the unease of memory dredged up by a mere touch, the overwhelming misery of it all. The echoes of it will be hard to shake--and he knows that it's going to have to be something they actually talk about outside of the haze of the club and Bond's influence. If he ever manages to pin Kaz down again long enough to make him talk after night, that is.
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But in the process of that his focus slowly winds back around and settles on Jesper. He lingers there, tasting the swirl of different emotions volleying around this one table. He squints faintly to focus under the flickering lights and shakes his head.
He leans in and gives Jesper a quick peck on the lips, “You don’t have to be.” Jealous? Suspicious? Neither of those are really necessary.
“I’ll leave you two to talk about…that and whatever else you two usually talk about,” he nods at Kaz and smirks softly, “I’d kiss you too but…” he shrugged because there were a million in one reasons why, “Are we good?” He asks as he shifts off of the table top, glancing between the two of them, “I’ll do the B with someone else so we’re not still a threesome—-though that would be interesting.”
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His eyebrows arch slightly at that sudden declaration; he may be feeling everything Jesper is feeling at the moment, but he isn't used to that, and sorting through what any of it even means isn't as easy for him as it is for Noah, who's just used to doing that, all the time– Saints, isn't it exhausting?
This drug is heady in a way he doesn't really like at all; it's all intense sensation with no escape, which is sort of everything Kaz doesn't want.
"Saints," he mutters under his breath as Noah makes way to leave, shaking his head. He really might punch Noah one of these days, sooner than later.
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Not that he'll get an answer with him going off to leave him and Kaz to--well whatever Noah might think will happen is definitely not going to.
Trouble; that's what Noah is. Jesper groans, leaning back against his end of the booth. "Saints." An echo of Kaz and commentary all his own in the same breath.
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Kaz isn't sure what they're meant to be talking about, and he's ready to leave, if he's completely honest. He thinks he needs another drink, but after tonight, he's not sure he trusts anything coming out of this bar. He shifts in the booth to ease the sudden pinched feeling blooming in his leg; too long in the same position, probably.
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He's about to make another quip, make a suggestion to go, when he feels it. A ghosting sensation at first, but the pain grows sharper, more focused as he tries to figure it out. He shifts, hand pressed to his leg to try and relieve a pain that isn't actually there. "Saints," he hisses, eyes cutting to Kaz. "Your leg?"
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He didn't consider that Jesper would feel it, too. This stupid drug is awful. He nods in confirmation. "Happens," he mumbles, like a dismissal, like it's nothing. Just another day ending in Y. Because... well. For him? It is.
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"If that's something I'm going to be feeling for the night, then I'm calling it and going up to my room."
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"Fine by me." A beat passes and he looks at Jesper, his gaze level, his features serious in that severe way he has about him so often. "No sneaking in with Wylan tonight." He isn't stupid, he knows that's bound to happen more than it doesn't, but not tonight. Not when Kaz is going to end up with the residual feeling of it for who knew how long.
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"Wouldn't dream of it," Jesper responds to the order with all seriousness, not a hint of a joking tone in his voice. The last thing he needs is for Kaz to feel anything that might come of a visit to Wylan. He'd rather not, thank you. "I'm going to my room, staring at my ceiling, and maybe trying to count my way into sleep."
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He doesn't wait for a proper goodbye as he slides out of the booth and grabs his cane to push himself properly to his feet. He reaches to grab his hat and realizes, "Saints, he stole it." He mutters, rolling his eyes. "See you tomorrow, Jesper."
The leg doesn't get better on the walk back to his room, and by the time he gets there, it's throbbing lightly– though it may not feel light to someone not used to such things. He didn't think to warn Jesper about the wave that hits him every time he's in Inej's presence. It's this big, sweeping warm-bright thing that swarms into his chest like nobody's business the second he lays eyes on her. It will fade, as he gets ready for bed and sinks under blankets and hopes to Saints he doesn't believe in this is all gone by morning.
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For his part, he really does just go to his room with the intent to sleep. What he doesn't expect is the near gut-punch of emotion that hits him out of nowhere as he's left staring at his ceiling. It feels like his chest is bursting, but it's almost pleasant in a way. It's a feeling he recognizes, one he's had on more than one occasion--and he can only guess what (or who) is responsible, and it certainly isn't the cracking spackle of his ceiling.
He manages to work up a feeling of annoyance, sharp and biting--he hopes it's enough for Kaz to get through whatever the hell this is. He's tempted to go see Wylan for good measure but decides better of it. He doesn't want to see Wylan because he's being petty--he deserves better than that. So instead he huffs, sends off a final wave of annoyance, and rolls over in an attempt for some sleep.