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penancememes2021-08-25 12:50 am
penancemods) wrote in penancememes2021-08-25 12:50 am
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TEST DRIVE MEME #27
Arrival
"Judgement has come upon you. God has deemed you worthy of Hell. But don't worry, it can still be undone," comes a soothing voice that echoes all around you. The voice promises comfort, hope even.
It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.
It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.
And so you do.
Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, but only a second.
Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.
Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.
The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"
Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please continue on until you reach Death's office. He'll have your contracts ready for you."
There's a slightly wicked twist to her lips. "Please do feel free to ask him about any of those sins listed..."
And so on, sinners travel until they finally arrived at another office where Death sits waiting. Here is where you'll receive a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written on with their blood. That explains the wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. Death will also provide slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android.
Seems as though Hell has moved on up from the very old Blackberry type phone.
Once characters have their device and their contracts, they're ushered further down the hall. It seems to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon the lobby of Penance hotel. Once there, they will notice several shops and other areas around the front desk.
The demon at the front desk looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend sights to see around the hotel.
Stand Your Ground While the Mares have gone, as per Death's bargain with God, and reconstructing Penance is coming along fairly well, the air is carrying with it a cold crispness that sends a chill down one's spine. Lucifer is still nowhere to be found, and if pressured, staff will say he's having talks with the other Lords of Hell, as well as God himself. Things need to be worked out, no matter how difficult it is for Lucifer to accept and swallow his pride. He won't be around to offer warmth to the Penance community and it may, in fact, be mirroring his current mood.
Or it may be the creeping sense of doom that's following so many around now that The Veiled Order has been able to nearly complete their next spell. Local demons will plainly say that God won't help them against this threat, that he doesn't care if Hell is destroyed, and others will be very hush about the situation entirely. No need to scare the local sinners, new or old!
Instead just enjoy the reopening businesses around the local area! Nothing is off-limits. Hellburbia seems to have suffered some extensive damage recently, but not to worry! There's talk of building back better than ever.
Other than that, Helluva Cup has a new spiced drink... and spiced everything. That's right! Pumpkin spice has apparently come early this year... and it may be a bit overpowering and in everything in the coffee shop, regardless of what you order. Even Bean, the 'friendly' hell rat the owner keeps in the shop seems to be feasting on pumpkin flavored meat. That's probably okay. Right?
Penance Library is offering a special reading of Leviathan-specific reads. The local goblins will be doing readings every afternoon for all who care to listen or to stick around and discuss it. These will all be fictional in nature, not historic texts.
Strangely enough, there seems to be a sort of curfew happening. While everyone will not be expected to be in the hotel necessarily, they must take shelter in the newly opened Club Penance, Casino Styx, Hella Shorty's, or other establishments. They must either stay the night in these establishments or be escorted to the hotel by demonic guards. These guards will be doing rounds around the Penance community to ensure no one is out alone. Do not fight them or they may surprise you with how strong they can be.
Additionally, anyone caught defying curfew knowingly or fighting back will be locked in their rooms for up to three days as a potential danger to the community as a whole. There are all sorts of dangers lurking out there and the demons are absolutely trying to keep everyone as safe as they can!
Otherwise, it's business as usual around Penance, so go on an exploration! Bundle up against the cold! Have fun!
Reach Up High WARNINGS: cutting, blood, torture
Whether you've been here for months or you're freshly arrived, your demonic overlord unfortunately expects some participation despite the current state of things. You can try and shirk the responsibility, of course. You can bargain your way out of it for a while. But eventually, you may find yourself trapped in a room just off the gym that's been fondly dubbed The Torture Room. It has all manner of equipment in there, along with an iron maiden even.
But don't worry about any of that right now. It probably won't be used.
You can try the door, but even with super human strength or every lock picking skill in the book, you won't be able to open it.
It soon becomes apparent what you're supposed to do when someone else is eventually shoved in with you. Both of your lists of sins will appear on a table that's been placed in the center of the room with two handy knives. You can choose to guard these or not care at all that they're on display.
"Unfortunately, due to Father coming back into the picture, I know that He will demand punishment be delivered despite our circumstances. I have chosen a rather easy one, focused on honesty and acceptance of your sins. Please pick up a knife and choose a sin from each of your lists to carve upon your skin. Aid each other in your journey, carve the words to help your fellow penitent be candid with everyone around them!"
The voice rings out within the sinners' heads as it always does, although Lucifer seems agitated at the moment, hesitant in some way that he usually isn't.
"I do apologize for this. If it was up to me, you would have been free of additional torment this month. However, there will be additional incentive for anyone who should try to resist the task I've appointed them."
It isn't a lie nor an idle threat either. The longer you wait to do what's been requested of you, the more shallow cuts that will appear on both of your bodies. Are you really prepared to endure this pain when giving in would be so much easier?
And more than that, are you willing to let another suffer along with you?
Eventually, the cuts will stop if you suffer them long enough, but you'll have failed this challenge and sustained more damage than if you'd just gone along with it. Satan will also be very disappointed in you.
Follow Me Down
Prompt I: Reopening WARNINGS: sex, drugs, alcohol, aphrodisiacs, body changes, potential kinks, violence, potential non-con or dub-con.
Club Penance is finally back! And with themed nights to start off all the fun. This night's theme is: Anything But Clothes. Guests who enter the adult oriented side of the club will notice the incubi and succubi who serve in it are entirely without clothes (and any ounce of shame!). They're eager to get right back to business. They're very encouraging of others to do the same whether it be immediately or in sexy strip shows.
On their trays, they offer drinks and drugs of all sorts. Shows are being put on on the stage as usual, the offer of sex demos with guest participation are still on the table.
As usual, these demons play under respectable rules in the club, safe words and all. They will also gladly exit the stage and let guests entirely run the show. They're on their best behavior tonight, even if the natural aphrodisiacs they give off seem to be amped up
Guests who refused to undress may also find their clothes randomly disappearing, or being torn off by some eager patron or demon who is a bit too into the theme! Ah, well, no need to worry too much. There will be costumes and lingerie to slip on to go home in. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a walk of shame back to the hotel in nothing but a thong, they'll assure. It's just another night in Hell.
For those who are really adventurous, there are also special concoctions that the club offers. These include:
For the dance oriented portion of the club, the theme is a little more lax. Instead of outright nakedness, patrons may be offered revealing clubwear instead. Things that will look mesmerizing in the lights of the club ranging from neon colors to clothes that seem to flash on the dance floor. The music will be thrumming in the air, pumping down to your very bones as you dance the night away, and all patrons will feel good. It will feel as if they could actually dance all night if they so wanted, even without the aid of any drugs.
It will be an all night rave with all the party drugs and drinks one could want! Live music plays all night. The band also loves to receive requests, so knock yourself out! They seem to strangely know any song they're asked to play.
Knock yourself out, give up any care in the world and have fun. You're already in Hell, so don't you deserve to feel good for a while?
Prompt II: Your Average Hotel Night WARNINGS: Alcohol and drug abuse, potential non-con/dub-con
With all the sinners, new and old, the hotel bar will be lit up with activity. Drinks will be readily available, there's food in the kitchens if anyone wants to bother serving it, music will be blaring whenever there's electricity, and overall, there will be an energy to the atmosphere that's absolutely contagious. Even if you aren't typically inclined to linger at these sorts of events there may be be a certain pull to stay and have a bit of fun.
You might not get much of a chance to have that in Hell, after all. One drink won't hurt, right? Nor will one more after that, and after that. Ah, sweet gluttony. Why not have a pastry next? There's some delectable sweets available just a few steps away. More of a meat person? Like things salty? Fear not, it looks like someone graciously brought all sorts of snacks and foodstuffs from the kitchens to the bar as the night progresses. Indulge! You deserve it.
Similar to Club Penance, the bar also has every sort of drug available that might tickle your fancy and some you've never heard of. There's no harm in experimenting, is there? You're already in Hell. The staff will offer to show anyone how to use the drugs or give advice for what to try if you tell them what you want to experience. Shockingly, they won't lie! Their advice is good word its just you might not have been exactly prepared for it.
There's a stage and a karaoke machine for those feeling brave or just wanting to torture people with some sweet, sweet renditions of The Devil Went Down to Georgia.
There are tables set up for all sorts of gambling and various bar games to entertain yourself with. Since currency as most are familiar with it doesn't quite exist down here, most of the demons seem to be accepting bits of your soul or offers to do chores around the hotel. You may also get pulled into a fun game of strip poker against one of your fellow guests for a few succubi that are having a night out.
Relax and enjoy your night. Coming here and facing your sins is the hard part, so surely you deserve to have a little fun.
Wildcard/Misc. Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.
And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the September 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.
Navigation
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| Arrival
| FAQ
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes
It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.
It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.
And so you do.
Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, but only a second.
Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.
Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.
The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"
Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please continue on until you reach Death's office. He'll have your contracts ready for you."
There's a slightly wicked twist to her lips. "Please do feel free to ask him about any of those sins listed..."
And so on, sinners travel until they finally arrived at another office where Death sits waiting. Here is where you'll receive a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written on with their blood. That explains the wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. Death will also provide slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android.
Seems as though Hell has moved on up from the very old Blackberry type phone.
Once characters have their device and their contracts, they're ushered further down the hall. It seems to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon the lobby of Penance hotel. Once there, they will notice several shops and other areas around the front desk.
The demon at the front desk looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend sights to see around the hotel.
Stand Your Ground While the Mares have gone, as per Death's bargain with God, and reconstructing Penance is coming along fairly well, the air is carrying with it a cold crispness that sends a chill down one's spine. Lucifer is still nowhere to be found, and if pressured, staff will say he's having talks with the other Lords of Hell, as well as God himself. Things need to be worked out, no matter how difficult it is for Lucifer to accept and swallow his pride. He won't be around to offer warmth to the Penance community and it may, in fact, be mirroring his current mood.
Or it may be the creeping sense of doom that's following so many around now that The Veiled Order has been able to nearly complete their next spell. Local demons will plainly say that God won't help them against this threat, that he doesn't care if Hell is destroyed, and others will be very hush about the situation entirely. No need to scare the local sinners, new or old!
Instead just enjoy the reopening businesses around the local area! Nothing is off-limits. Hellburbia seems to have suffered some extensive damage recently, but not to worry! There's talk of building back better than ever.
Other than that, Helluva Cup has a new spiced drink... and spiced everything. That's right! Pumpkin spice has apparently come early this year... and it may be a bit overpowering and in everything in the coffee shop, regardless of what you order. Even Bean, the 'friendly' hell rat the owner keeps in the shop seems to be feasting on pumpkin flavored meat. That's probably okay. Right?
Penance Library is offering a special reading of Leviathan-specific reads. The local goblins will be doing readings every afternoon for all who care to listen or to stick around and discuss it. These will all be fictional in nature, not historic texts.
Strangely enough, there seems to be a sort of curfew happening. While everyone will not be expected to be in the hotel necessarily, they must take shelter in the newly opened Club Penance, Casino Styx, Hella Shorty's, or other establishments. They must either stay the night in these establishments or be escorted to the hotel by demonic guards. These guards will be doing rounds around the Penance community to ensure no one is out alone. Do not fight them or they may surprise you with how strong they can be.
Additionally, anyone caught defying curfew knowingly or fighting back will be locked in their rooms for up to three days as a potential danger to the community as a whole. There are all sorts of dangers lurking out there and the demons are absolutely trying to keep everyone as safe as they can!
Otherwise, it's business as usual around Penance, so go on an exploration! Bundle up against the cold! Have fun!
Reach Up High WARNINGS: cutting, blood, torture
Whether you've been here for months or you're freshly arrived, your demonic overlord unfortunately expects some participation despite the current state of things. You can try and shirk the responsibility, of course. You can bargain your way out of it for a while. But eventually, you may find yourself trapped in a room just off the gym that's been fondly dubbed The Torture Room. It has all manner of equipment in there, along with an iron maiden even.
But don't worry about any of that right now. It probably won't be used.
You can try the door, but even with super human strength or every lock picking skill in the book, you won't be able to open it.
It soon becomes apparent what you're supposed to do when someone else is eventually shoved in with you. Both of your lists of sins will appear on a table that's been placed in the center of the room with two handy knives. You can choose to guard these or not care at all that they're on display.
"Unfortunately, due to Father coming back into the picture, I know that He will demand punishment be delivered despite our circumstances. I have chosen a rather easy one, focused on honesty and acceptance of your sins. Please pick up a knife and choose a sin from each of your lists to carve upon your skin. Aid each other in your journey, carve the words to help your fellow penitent be candid with everyone around them!"
The voice rings out within the sinners' heads as it always does, although Lucifer seems agitated at the moment, hesitant in some way that he usually isn't.
"I do apologize for this. If it was up to me, you would have been free of additional torment this month. However, there will be additional incentive for anyone who should try to resist the task I've appointed them."
It isn't a lie nor an idle threat either. The longer you wait to do what's been requested of you, the more shallow cuts that will appear on both of your bodies. Are you really prepared to endure this pain when giving in would be so much easier?
And more than that, are you willing to let another suffer along with you?
Eventually, the cuts will stop if you suffer them long enough, but you'll have failed this challenge and sustained more damage than if you'd just gone along with it. Satan will also be very disappointed in you.
Follow Me Down
Prompt I: Reopening WARNINGS: sex, drugs, alcohol, aphrodisiacs, body changes, potential kinks, violence, potential non-con or dub-con.
Club Penance is finally back! And with themed nights to start off all the fun. This night's theme is: Anything But Clothes. Guests who enter the adult oriented side of the club will notice the incubi and succubi who serve in it are entirely without clothes (and any ounce of shame!). They're eager to get right back to business. They're very encouraging of others to do the same whether it be immediately or in sexy strip shows.
On their trays, they offer drinks and drugs of all sorts. Shows are being put on on the stage as usual, the offer of sex demos with guest participation are still on the table.
As usual, these demons play under respectable rules in the club, safe words and all. They will also gladly exit the stage and let guests entirely run the show. They're on their best behavior tonight, even if the natural aphrodisiacs they give off seem to be amped up
Guests who refused to undress may also find their clothes randomly disappearing, or being torn off by some eager patron or demon who is a bit too into the theme! Ah, well, no need to worry too much. There will be costumes and lingerie to slip on to go home in. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a walk of shame back to the hotel in nothing but a thong, they'll assure. It's just another night in Hell.
For those who are really adventurous, there are also special concoctions that the club offers. These include:
Frenzy ○ The drug will be given to anyone anyone who asks for it. It can be snorted, injected, taken in pill form, or smoked given user preference.
Despite the questionable name, guests who partake really will feel the best they've possibly ever felt. They won't need sleep or to rest, but they won't necessarily feel the strain on their bodies either. They'll be full of energy and their mood will be amazing with no hint of nightmares or dreams anywhere.
The demons won't let anyone come down either, not once they've started and not until they're told a guest doesn't want any more.
Even then, they may still try to convince them otherwise. It's a party for as long as you can go, or until you completely burn out, it seems.
But with all good things come bad. It seems a side-effect of the drug is an actual frenzy as well. A frenzy for sex or violence or anything a character might want that they deny themselves on the regular. They'll feel this growing hunger, this ravenous need to have and to claim everything they think is theirs.
Some may even fade away into an almost animalistic sort of state.
The more the guest takes, the more they'll experience this sensation. Fighting it won't help either. Though they did sort of bring that one on themselves, didn't they?
Other symptoms of coming down won't be too different to those of other drugs. Fatigue, depression. Guests will begin to feel the effects of staying up for so long without rest or stopping to take care of themselves. They may also feel a certain longing for more, but it can be fought off with enough strength of will.
The drug isn't free either. The succubi expect to be paid in energy or through actual work in the club.
Bond ○ A potion that will bond guests together the minute one speaks to the other. The encouragement is that this should be done consensually, but the demons won't necessarily be checking. Once bonded, guests will feel what the one who took the potion feels. This includes pain and pleasure both with effects lasting a full night. Give someone the most intense pleasure of their lives or torture them until they beg for mercy!
For a really intense experience, both participants can consume the potion with mutual effects.
For the dance oriented portion of the club, the theme is a little more lax. Instead of outright nakedness, patrons may be offered revealing clubwear instead. Things that will look mesmerizing in the lights of the club ranging from neon colors to clothes that seem to flash on the dance floor. The music will be thrumming in the air, pumping down to your very bones as you dance the night away, and all patrons will feel good. It will feel as if they could actually dance all night if they so wanted, even without the aid of any drugs.
It will be an all night rave with all the party drugs and drinks one could want! Live music plays all night. The band also loves to receive requests, so knock yourself out! They seem to strangely know any song they're asked to play.
Knock yourself out, give up any care in the world and have fun. You're already in Hell, so don't you deserve to feel good for a while?
Prompt II: Your Average Hotel Night WARNINGS: Alcohol and drug abuse, potential non-con/dub-con
With all the sinners, new and old, the hotel bar will be lit up with activity. Drinks will be readily available, there's food in the kitchens if anyone wants to bother serving it, music will be blaring whenever there's electricity, and overall, there will be an energy to the atmosphere that's absolutely contagious. Even if you aren't typically inclined to linger at these sorts of events there may be be a certain pull to stay and have a bit of fun.
You might not get much of a chance to have that in Hell, after all. One drink won't hurt, right? Nor will one more after that, and after that. Ah, sweet gluttony. Why not have a pastry next? There's some delectable sweets available just a few steps away. More of a meat person? Like things salty? Fear not, it looks like someone graciously brought all sorts of snacks and foodstuffs from the kitchens to the bar as the night progresses. Indulge! You deserve it.
Similar to Club Penance, the bar also has every sort of drug available that might tickle your fancy and some you've never heard of. There's no harm in experimenting, is there? You're already in Hell. The staff will offer to show anyone how to use the drugs or give advice for what to try if you tell them what you want to experience. Shockingly, they won't lie! Their advice is good word its just you might not have been exactly prepared for it.
There's a stage and a karaoke machine for those feeling brave or just wanting to torture people with some sweet, sweet renditions of The Devil Went Down to Georgia.
There are tables set up for all sorts of gambling and various bar games to entertain yourself with. Since currency as most are familiar with it doesn't quite exist down here, most of the demons seem to be accepting bits of your soul or offers to do chores around the hotel. You may also get pulled into a fun game of strip poker against one of your fellow guests for a few succubi that are having a night out.
Relax and enjoy your night. Coming here and facing your sins is the hard part, so surely you deserve to have a little fun.
Wildcard/Misc. Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.
And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the September 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes
no subject
Wall of Fire, Caleb? Did that ring a bell? Jester had told him a bit about that once, and he gleaned what he could from that her methods of diction. Still, he laughed a little, a soft sound, kind, as his own fingers tightened in return.
He was glad it wasn’t him, either; pain was distasteful, unappealing, frightening. But –
“And yet, it shouldn’t have been you, either.” His hand slid from Caleb’s, then gently took the wizard’s wrist and positioned it palm up. Idly, Essek reached down with his fingertip, started to trace a familiar shape – the dodecahedron – in the center among Caleb’s life and love lines. “I would find great pleasure right now in going into that room and squeezing it into nothingness.”
His eyes flickered up to blue ones, lingering there. “If the tortures of this place are anything to be believed, I do not doubt that one day you and I will stand in these rooms together with similar carving knives.”
no subject
Their eyes met. Caleb shifted, slightly, to draw Essek closer to him. He might not need to sleep, but there was a comfort in resting together like this, in being still and quiet together.
"I would prefer to avoid it as long as possible," he murmured. His heart thundered unceremoniously in his ears and he was certain that Essek must be able to hear it, as close as they were, as observant as he was. "I do not wish to hurt you, Essek."
no subject
He caught himself, carefully; our lifetime whispered of an affection he couldn’t allow himself to tell him, a truth of a future that Caleb did not know. Instead, he settled into him, relaxing his body into Caleb’s natural heat, careful of those wounds.
But it was the guilt in Essek’s words, too; even after years, after reflection and redemption, those pangs of guilt would never leave, much like Caleb’s words that night. The look in his eyes haunted him to this day and he never wanted to see it there again. Not because of him, not because of anyone.
His fingertip traced the life line of Caleb’s palm, before stopping in the center.
“Life cannot be devoid of pain, even by the ones we care for.” He tried not to think of Caleb dying, of the yawning existence that would happen after him. “But I know that more than anyone, you would not purposefully cause me harm if you could avoid it. I trust you, Caleb.”
Even if you cannot bring yourself to trust me yet.
no subject
It's complicated, he'd told Jester. It was. Caleb had guarded himself for so long, for so many years, after Astrid and Eadwulf, and he had learned to love again slowly, through friendship, through trust, through this wizard before him who was clever and charming and brilliant and willing to do all the most terrible, wicked things that Caleb had been trained to do.
They could be better than what pride and ego and their pasts had made them. Because there were people who believed in them. Because they believed in each other.
It wasn't that complicated.
Caleb shifted their hands slightly, until Essek's fingers tangled between his. Despite the pain in his arm, he lifted his other hand and touched Essek's cheek. His fingers moved slowly back to his ear, all those glinting cuffs and rings, touching in a way that he had thought of for months.
He leaned in and kissed Essek's forehead. The bridge of his nose. His lips.
no subject
When the lips brushed the bridge of his nose, he wondered if maybe it was there that it would stop. A slow step, something moving towards a new phase between them.
And yet the lips touched his, a kiss, soft and new. It was the first time that this Caleb had kissed him, and while this was one of countless for Essek, it was still as important as any first, any last. He stiffened for all of a second against him, cautious and wary, before he remembered what he had told Caleb a moment earlier.
I trust you, Caleb.
He closed his eyes and let the fire melt him again the wizard, the hand in Caleb’s squeezing softly. There was a small parting of his lips as he offered himself up and let the wizard lead.
no subject
Trust. Trust and becoming more than what they were, what they had been.
Anyone could have come from home, but nobody else could have been here. Caleb knew that.
He had so many questions. Instead, he focused on the tender warmth of their bodies neatly filling the bed, their knees touching, their bodies intimately close, the kiss never quite broken as he traced his fingers up into Essek's pale hair.
no subject
So he kissed him back as that hand went to his hair, and his hand left Caleb’s to cup one of his cheeks, that scruff against his palm. His own heart thundered in chest like a storm, and he wondered what would happen after this, the eight million different ways this timeline, his timeline, Caleb’s timeline could.
And eventually he broke the kiss and didn’t pull back or away. There was a soft murmur of the wizard’s name against his lips with an affection unmatched.
He had missed this.
"I will stay as long as you wish it."
no subject
Like staring into the beacon, like fortune's favor, possibility unwound around them. And then, just as easily as they unspooled, they returned.
Essek pulled back from the kiss but did not detach, like he had in the bathroom, and Caleb lingered in the circuit of their touch, his hand in Essek's hair and Essek's hand on his cheek.
"As long as you want," he murmured. "That is all I can ask."
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Maybe.
Maybe.
But he knew that Caleb should rest, too, and this hung at the precipice of something great and dangerous, precariously balanced and threated with danger and promise. The bed was as inviting as Caleb’s eyes, and he could lie in both for hours if permitted.
A month had never felt so long. They had gone far longer between visits before and yet here? Here, it felt ages.
“And what about what you want, Caleb?”
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But for right now? For right now, he had Essek here with him. Wanting to be here with him. Perhaps it was just because he was hurt and he needed to rest and Essek wanted to make sure he did, but Caleb didn't think it was that.
"I have what I can have," he said softly. There were questions he wanted answers to, but not now. It didn't have to be now. He ran his knuckles slowly over the shape of Essek's ear, the length and the curve and then along his jaw. "If there is more than this, I will be grateful for that too."
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Essek needed to be the one to make the decision.
Was it still complicated? Yes, more than ever, but Caleb had made up his mind at least, in some form. By leaving it to Essek, there was the unspoken trust, a promise of belief in this drow that he was still surprised of. It was so difficult not to simply, blindly rush in, to be happy in this change of plans and the hand that touched him with such softness and patience.
But there were possibilities he needed to think of, the review of it all. They didn’t have the items in Aeor anymore; if this was wrong, there would be no way to fix it.
He closed the small space between them, kissing those lips chastely, gently. “I need time,” he whispered, lips brushing his. “But I am not opposed to this.”
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He twisted wrong and put too much pressure on one of the burns, inhaled sharply and had to pull away from the kiss to tilt back and stare at the ceiling for a moment to compose himself. After a second, a bitter laugh slipped out of his mouth.
His hand found Essek's again. He squeezed gently.
"Thank you," he murmured. "For cleaning me up."
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He watched the reaction to the movements and the space between them widen. Caleb’s pain was tangible and there was little he could do; the extent of his medicine skills had been used with the bandages. The next time they were out, they would have to find a market or a shop; potions were not a luxury but a necessity.
Still, he was pleased that Caleb understood the need for time, though Essek was not completely surprised; if anyone would understand the value in that and in reflection, it would be him. After all, he had been the one to teach it to Essek. He leaned up and kissed Caleb’s forehead, before settled down into the pillows beside him.
“I have been told that wizards are notorious for not looking after themselves,” he said, smirking. “And so I thought that leaving it to yourself might prove the saying right.”
His hand squeezed Caleb’s softly.
“Rest. Please.”