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Penance Mods ([personal profile] penancemods) wrote in [community profile] penancememes2022-08-24 10:35 pm
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TEST DRIVE MEME #38

Arrival
"Judgement has come upon you. God has deemed you worthy of Hell. But don't worry, it can still be undone," comes a soothing voice that echoes all around you. The voice promises comfort, hope even.

It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.

It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.

And so you do.

Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, And it seems to linger for a long time. There is nothing at all. It must be lonely. But it won’t be forever.

Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.

Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.

The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"

Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please take your care package and continue on until you reach the stairs."

On their way out, sinners receive their 'package', a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written with their blood. That explains the palm wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. They will also receive a slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android and a pamphlet made by other sinners during their stay here with useful tips.

After that, sinners will be ushered on to a set of stairs where a guard waits. "Welcome to Penance," the demon says gruffly before motioning them on without an ounce of courtesy. "Don't hold up the line."

They seem to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon what appears to be a lobby of a hotel. Once there, they will notice several shops and other areas around the front desk.

The demon at the front desk looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend sights to see around the hotel.


Stand Your Ground
Curiously, every television within Hell seems to be covered with a sheet and wrapped in chains. If one listens closely at night, they'll hear murmuring coming from them. If any curious newcomer should try to remove the coverings, they will find them magically enchanted in some way that makes this impossible, however. If asked, the staff will explain that they're undergoing a cleansing to remove a curse placed upon them by evildoers. If pressed further, they'll hear talks of The Veiled Order.

But not to worry! There's plenty to do. Helluvacup needs to be rebuilt so the coffee demon and his prized hell rat on a harness and leash quit wandering the halls... the staff is rather tired of being bitten! Additionally, it feels like reality is shifting more often to showing what the pristine hotel may actually look like. It hasn't been that long since the buildings were flooded by lava and utterly destroyed. The beautiful interiors were too good to be true, and the veneer is cracking more severely now. At times, the illusion drops to the burnt out husk of a building, to rotting wood and torn, old furniture. Sometimes it's jarring enough to leave one dizzy before it simply flashes back to normal. Unfortunately, whenever these glitches occur, it is entirely possible to find one's self in an entirely different room than they meant. Wanted to grab a midnight snack? Have fun in that blood room. Wanted to take an innocent pee, minding your own business? You may accidentally walk into someone's room.

In which case, it is probably very advisable to not relieve yourself and find a more suitable area. What could possibly go wrong?

At least there does seem to be a break in the heat? Hell is an almost comfortable temperature, but there are already talks of the dreaded Fall coming soon. In Hell, Fall tends to feel more like the dead of winter, bt hopefully, there will be a skip to the usual snow and frigid temperatures.

.


Reach Up High

Prompt I:
WARNINGS: drills, torture, blood, lobotomy

Part of redemption is suffering, Darlings. That’s why sinners are drawn here. They will hurt, but they will also learn to become better people. One way or another.

The demons who bring sinners here have tied them quite firmly into a contraption that forces them to recline back with their heads trapped in a vice. If they look up, they’ll be able to see the whirring flash of metal from an active drill poised just overhead. They can squirm if they’d like, but it might be unsettling for the person bound behind them. Before they can vocalize any questions, they’ll hear the sound of Lucifer’s warm, soothing voice.

"My dear guests, I’ve done a lot of thinking about what I can do to bring you closer together. Father often says that humans should love their fellow man. Maybe you just need some help building trust. I assure you that you’re both perfectly safe. If you stay still and chat, the drills will cause a little scratch, but nothing you can’t live through. Talk about your sins. Talk about your day. It’ll just take a few minutes before you can leave. Be nice, and whatever you do, don’t move a muscle."
It’s at this point that sinners might notice that although they are rendered immobile from the waist up, their legs are free. They can push back their chairs and avoid the drills which are suddenly moving forward. But since they’re bound to someone else, pushing back will send their partner forward into their drill and surely condemn them to a messy death. If neither sinner moves, they can both survive. The drills will move close enough to tear the skin at their foreheads and perhaps scratch the skull underneath, creating a mild concussion at worst. But if the sinners were unable to make peace and stop themselves from moving, the drill is quite capable of pushing past bone and into the soft flesh of the frontal lobe. You can technically live with the kind of brain damage caused by an injury there, but do you really want to do that to your new close friend?

You have three minutes to figure it out.


Prompt II
For those fortunate enough to escape the unplanned lobotomy, well, there's an easy task for you! As previously mentioned, Helluvacup and the hotel's own pool both need to be tidied up, or rebuilt in some cases. Any sinners who volunteer will be treated to free drinks and snacks, and receive appreciation from demonic staff. Plus, chipping in and helping your fellow sinners (and demons) is something God often encourages! It will be good for one sin removal overall. There will be building supplies, cleaning supplies, and anything else sinners need to push forward!

The staff also won't be put out if sinners would rather do a little bit of cleaning instead...

Besides, it's a rare opportunity to help import supplies to Hell. There are large crates of unnamed items, new furniture items, torture items, clothes, and more. There's also several boxes of nothing but pumpkin spice that veteran sinners, who know what every fall entails, may cringe at the sight of.


Follow Me Down

Prompt I
WARNINGS: fire, disobedience

Speaking of pumpkin spice and torture devices... Well, sinners may find the prime opportunity for a bit of a bonfire if they're so inclined. It seems some demons are not looking forward to the months of pumpkin spice flavored foods or, well, working, really. These are young, reckless demons, but they've decided to help some of these new shipments get 'lost' by starting a large bonfire in a secluded place in Penance proper. They'll be asking sinners to help out. They'll supply the booze as they watch everything burn later!

If questioned about it, the demons will insist that it's just another part of the importing project. Everyone's trying to tell you to grab the crates and haul them somewhere, right? Into the fire is somewhere. Of course it's fine! You get points for being good little boys and girls every time you shut up and do what you're told. Why would anyone lie about that?

Perhaps it will come as a surprise, then, that anyone who participates will receive one sin added to their contract in the form of arson.


Prompt II
WARNINGS: sex, aphrodisiacs, non-con, etc.

Club Penance has new shots for all to try! Eager incubi and succubi stand around with trays of them, eager to pass them off under the strobe lights and pounding music. The air is sweeter than even usual, the demons amping up the aphrodisiacs to ensure everybody has a good time, and there's plenty encouragement to get lost in the atmosphere. These shots all have a unique influence, although that part may have been left out... Oops.

Apple: Causes one to fall lust with the first person they see. They will absolutely be overwhelmed with the desire to have them and do whatever they must to receive their affections.
Cinnamon: Causes one to fall into love with the first person they see. Their heart will skip beats, they'll feel the urge to recite poetry, anything! Your love must be known.
Pumpkin: Causes one to fall out of balance. Just the perfect meet-cute, isn't it? Hopefully you won't fall into anyone in a bad mood.
Sour Apple: Causes one to fall into a rage. Ah, oops. Maybe they didn't think that one out. This one causes aggression and the need to make certain others know you're the top dog around here.



Wildcard/Misc.
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agentskye: (injured; contemplative)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-08-30 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Oh, Fitz. ]

I'm jumping to conclusions? Are you serious? What was I meant to think? [ You don't talk to your better half in code - totally obvious code at that - if you don't mean any harm. ] You know just as well as I do that you can do a lot more, a lot worse than simply kill someone.

[ She sighs, raking a hand through her hair. ] I didn't come here to argue. I am not going to ask you to trust me because we both know that you can't. I don't know what I am doing but I can't keep going like this.

[ A pause, as she just looks at him sadly. ] Things happened back home that I ... I don't know if Jemma knows about some of them or if she told you but. I am tired of failing to save people. [ The list includes so many people. Her mom, Ruby Hale, Talbot, ... ]

I swear that am not conspiring against you or anything. I just ... I am asking you to let him be my responsibility. That's all.
hypoxic: (It's better to do things the right way)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-08-31 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
[It's not code when it's science.]

Of course I could. But why are you so certain that I'd want to do that? Daisy, I trusted you. I trusted you and you turned your back on me. Again. How many times do you expect me to forgive you for the same things?? You can't just bring Hydra here -- you have no idea the kind of damage...!

[His voice is raising, and he catches it. No. No, they are not doing this right now.]

If he's your responsibility, then where is he now? Who has he been talking to? Has he gone near the gated community with all the little white fences?
agentskye: (surprised; thoughtful)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-01 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Because it's Ward, Fitz. Of course, you'd like to make him suffer! [ She listens to him, her confusion showing on her face. Turning her back on him? Again? ] What are you talking about? I didn't turn my back on you. I already told you that I thought it was this place playing a trick on me. Everyone told me about being tortured and then I find Ward sitting at a bar. What else was I supposed to think?

[ She takes a deep breath, trying her best to sound calmer. They cannot just keep shouting at each other. When she speaks again her tone is pleading and sensible. ]

What do you mean when you say that you have to forgive me for the same things? What things, Fitz? I didn't ... I didn't wish for Ward to be here if that is what you think I did. And even if I had I didn't make him appear by wishing really hard.

I have been tracking him on the network. He has only talked to someone named Lucien about books. [ The gated community gives her pause, makes her think back on what Kate and Nat talked to her about. ] Do you mean Hellburbia? I thought that ... was over. But no, he didn't leave the hotel so far. Neither have I. [ She is already telling him enough like this, so she simply pretends to ignore Fitz asking for Ward's location. He probably has some means to find out anyway, find out where she has been staying ... ]
hypoxic: (seventh heaven)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-09-02 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
[The accusation stings harder than it should.]

When things get hard, you leave. This isn't the first time. [And maybe it was a mistake welcoming her back after her time running away to be in hiding. Things were never the same after.]

I don't do the kinds of things that happen here. It's not -- [Some of them are his designs, his creativity and innovation twisted to serve the whims of something else. His was his hand that wrote the blueprints.] -- you don't get it. And you're going to tip the balance in the wrong direction at this rate.

[She mentions the end of Hellburbia, and it gives him a stabbing pain behind one eye.]

It's -- people still live there. The structures are empty. But there's -- there's a -- [He presses his lips together, stumbling over something.] If Ward gets out there, he'll find Hydra. And right now, it's under control. I need it to stay under control.
agentskye: (injured; contemplative)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-02 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)
When things get hard ... Oh, you mean that time when SHIELD was coming to capture or kill me when I couldn't control my powers and my mother tried to manipulate me into joining her cult to commit genocide on humanity? Or that time when I was brainwashed by Hive, drained within an inch of my life, had my boyfriend sacrifice himself for me and I only wanted to make up for my sins and die? [ Daisy isn't shouting, despite desperately wanting to. Her voice is quiet but manacing instead, showing all of the pain that she still feels because of these memories, these wounds that will never fully heal or go away. ] Yeah, no. Why would anyone leave after that ... [ There are tears in her eyes and she can't just swallow them, even though she tries.

Instead, Daisy crosses the room, pushes up her hair, and turns around to show him the scar he left on the back of her neck. It wasn't him, but the memory still is present, still hurts so much. Especially when he accuses her of so many things. Her voice is sad, almost soothing when she speaks again, facing him. ]
I didn't leave when you did this to me, Fitz. No, I crossed the galaxy with Jemma because I still love you and you are still my friend even if you tortured me. [ It's unfair of her to even bring it up, but she needs it out in the open or she'll choke on it and soon. ]

Tell me about the things I don't understand, Fitz. Please. I am trying to help. [ She watches him as he speaks, struggles, and doesn't get something out that sounds very important. ] Hydra? How ... how is Hydra here? [ She doesn't say that she doesn't think that Ward would seek out Hydra, that he doesn't have a reason to, and that they shouldn't give him one. ]
hypoxic: (that's just the reality of it)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-09-02 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Some of us have been through things that are just as terrible. And we stayed.

[ he doesn't match her beat for beat. He doesn't drag her down to the dark places he went when he was pulled up from the bottom of the ocean, when he was robbed of the luxury of acting for himself when he was at his most hopeless. If he brings it up, it'll just become real again. He doesn't chase those ghosts for fear of reviving them. ]

So you'll hold me responsible for something I've not done. Something that I might never do. Do you want me to apologize for the death of the wrong me that sent you lot chasing into space to find the better one?

[ but that's when she asks about the pressing issue, and things get tricky. ]

There are -- certain things that I can't talk about. And -- I can't explain how Hydra has a foothold here. But it does. And if Ward uncovers that, he's going to find resources stronger than anything we have to combat it. He can't be allowed out there. If you want me to trust you, promise me that.
agentskye: (listening; kinda done with it all)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-02 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Some of us are stronger than others. [ And it had absolutely been weakness that made her run away. A single moment in which all had culminated and become entirely too much for her to bear had been enough. ]

I am not ...and I know it's terrible of me to tell you. I only mean to say that I don't want us to be like this to each other. I'm ... You were the only one who understood me and believed in me after I changed. And I want us to trust each other again, to be there for each other. [ They had never truly gone back to how they once were after the incident with the inhibitor. So much had happened afterward, and yes, she had held on to the pain of that memory when she shouldn't have. Maybe they will never be the same again or even close to that in any way, but she has to try at least and hope he won't reject her completely.

He can't talk about some things? It doesn't sound like he doesn't want to tell her but that he physically can't. And that is concerning, but can't be changed. Daisy doesn't think that he's lying about the possibilities and repercussions. ]
Are there any other people he could learn about Hydra from? About where to go and what to do? [ She needs more before she can promise him anything like that. There is no way she can watch Ward 24/7 and once he heals up it is likely that he will start actually leaving his room and maybe even the hotel. ]
hypoxic: (Please let me know)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-09-03 07:40 am (UTC)(link)
Trust is earned, Daisy. [And it's something he can only say to her like this, without anyone else within earshot. There are so many people who would say the same to him now.]

There are others. They're. [He stalls briefly, then tries a different angle.] I'm surprised they haven't come to you about it already.
agentskye: (thinking; worried)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-03 09:56 am (UTC)(link)
Well, maybe both of us can manage that. Eventually. [ It's not that she mistrusts him explicitly but she also doesn't know half of what happened to him since she last saw him, sitting in that dinner, just about to order some nice pie. ] I am willing to work for it if you are. I am not the enemy and I am not going to turn into the enemy either. [ Yes, it's empty words for now but she plans on following through on them. ]

Why would they come to me about Hydra? To recruit me? [ Or maybe the 'you' encompasses Ward as well? ] Let me guess, you can't tell me who to watch out for. [ Nothing could ever be that easy, after all. It's more of a tired statement than an accusation. ]
hypoxic: (they've gone too long without rest)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-09-03 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[ "eventually" is probably the best either of them can hope for on that front.

She has followup questions, and thinking about their answer makes him squirm in his seat, hips lips pulling together in a frustrating line. ]


It's.... [ it's Barbas. They need to talk about Barbas. His jaw grows tight with the struggle to grasp what he shouldn't, but then the muscles in his face release into a softer, blanker expression. ]

I... sorry? C..could you repeat the question?
agentskye: (lips pressed together; mhh)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-03 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[ There is hope yet. All is not lost. Knowing that much helps already if only a little bit.

Daisy notices again how he struggles, how he tries to say something, probably someone's name but just simply can't. And it's different from him searching for a word sometimes. It's almost like something is actively interfering. She wishes she could help but doesn't know how. Maybe phrasing the questions more broadly ... ]


Is there someone else who can point the person responsible out to me? Or people I should stay away from, generally speaking?
hypoxic: (and then there's the strong me)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-09-03 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[The similarities are there, but Daisy's seen enough to be able to pick out the subtleties in his struggle for words. Least of which is probably the way he just abandons the missing word instead of working himself into a bigger frenzy trying to reach what isn't there.]

I... The person responsible for what?
agentskye: (lips pressed together; worried)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-03 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Her brows wrinkle with concern. Maybe she should just stop, let him rest. It's not like she has to have all of the answers now. ]

For Hydra still being around in Hellburbia. Or someone you suspect of working for Hydra. Anything you can warn me about in particular.
hypoxic: (If there's only emptiness in your heart)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-09-03 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh. [Oh, so that's happening again. He files that away to be concerned about at a later date. He's more careful about his phrasing as he rewords things.]

Daisy... A lot's happened here. And. -- I can't tell you everything. There's -- it's bloody magic. But it's likely to me that a former head of Hydra was involved in the reconstruction of Hellburbia. And it's equally likely that someone as familiar as Ward would find a trail to follow that the rest of us missed.

[Is this just feeding her more breadcrumbs to follow? Is she going to rush to Ward and report all this to him?]
agentskye: (1980s; unsure; let me get this straight)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-12 03:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I know some things. When I got here I talked to Natasha and [ There's a hint of a pause. ] Kate.

[ Fitz mentioning the words Former Head of Hydra combined with what she has been told about Hellburbia ... it's enough for her to be sure that this is indeed about the Doctor. The Doctor who could be pulling strings, planning things, and like a fully different entity, a split-off part of Fitz, keep Hydra alive and kicking without her friend's knowledge. ]

Just tell me what you can and I will make sure Ward will stay put.

[ As best as she possibly can anyway. It's easier now that he is still out of commission, still in pain, and not actually leaving his room. She can easily track his activities on the network. Once that changes she will have to figure something out, but she is confident that she can do that. ]

I just need to know where and what to keep him away from first.
hypoxic: (so I look to the sky)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-09-13 07:27 am (UTC)(link)
[His eyes drop back down at the mention of his sort-of not-really other wife. Oh, there's a lot to unpack there.]

I don't think you ought to trust sensitive information with Kate. She's -- it's not her fault. But there's a chance he's done something to her. It's -- not worth the risk.

[They're talking about Ward, but there's so much else that needs to be discussed. The Ward issue is just throwing a bomb into a building that's already on fire.]
Here, I'll...

[He doesn't finish his sentence, and instead begins drawing, analog, on a sheet of scrap paper.]
agentskye: (thinking; shifting eyes)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-13 12:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Daisy would lie if she pretended that she wasn't curious about their whole dynamic and what it was like before they were fake-married and how it affected them but. She doesn't want to pry or make it harder on him than it already must be. So she just lets him guide her through the conversation, share what he wants to and can. ]

Sensitive information ... right. Because he might be using her still. [ She hadn't known her before so she had nothing to compare her to but to Daisy she had seemed like a nice person. Someone who didn't belong here, surely. It may all just have been an act. ] Is there any way to tell whether someone has been altered or brainwashed here? By demons? [ Or someone else, but the demon and hell thing to her is the big unknown variable. ] I can try to tap into her heartrate and check whether she's lying if that helps. [ It's not 100% but she should be able to tell whether someone is human, still feels the same way they did before, with her vibrations. They may not be LMDs but demons are bound to feel different from humans, too.

She draws closer as Fitz stops talking and instead starts to put something down on paper until she is next to him, peeking at the piece of paper.]
hypoxic: (Isn't there a happy day?)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-09-13 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not probable... but it's possible. And if I've thought of it, he might've done it. 

[ in the absence of concrete data, Fitz has mostly settled on preparing for the worst cases he can wrap his head around.

But for now, he sketches out an overview of the courtyard in Hellburbia, with a fairly large blank spot near the center. If Daisy heads out that far, she'll find a stilted mansion guarded and protected with layers of magic. ]
 

I don't-- remember what's there. And that generally means that it's something dangerous. I'm being watched by too many eyes to try and figure it out for myself.
agentskye: (listening; worried)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-13 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Makes sense. [ And it does. It has to be terrifying to live with an enemy in the back of one's mind. Always lurking, possibly watching, one step from taking over.

Not having been there yet the overview doesn't mean anything to her but if there are holes in his memories, then that must be Hellburbia. ]


I want to help, Fitz. But I don't even know what I'd be looking for ... Is there someone you trust that could come with me?

[ She is reckless enough to go alone even if it's dangerous. But it's all pointless if she is just walking into a possible trap completely blindly and without even knowing that she's able to find or recognize whatever is there. ]
hypoxic: (remember we're all connected)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-09-14 06:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Truthfully, there's not much difference, as noisy as his head is prone to getting. Leopold speaks in his father's voice, after all. It fits right in with some of the worst of it.]

Agent Romanoff.

[He offers the name almost before Daisy finishes asking the question.]

She's been here almost as long as I have. She understands what's at stake.

[And then his eyes shift as he looks away from her and addresses the door. There's no one there, but that doesn't mean she's not listening. Natasha doesn't let herself be seen unless she wants to be. He raises his voice to be clear that he's addressing her.]

She also has a habit of keeping tabs on me even when I've not done anything wrong.

[He doesn't expect a reply. Why confirm his suspicions? It's equally possible that he's just gone a little paranoid, all things considered.]
agentskye: (lips pressed together; not pleased)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-14 10:22 am (UTC)(link)
[ Natasha. Again. But that's fine, makes it easier even, as she already knows her. ]

Okay. Good. I will reach out to her and then we'll have a look.

[ Daisy knows that Romanoff is watching Fitz and doesn't trust him because she has told her as much. She doesn't bother to reassure Fitz that his addressing the door is unfounded. It's not really paranoia if he's right, is it? And for all she knows he could be bugged or the lab could be.

Taking the slip of paper, she puts it into the pocket of her leather jacket. ]


We'll figure something out. [ She hesitates, just barely. ] Is there anything else? Something to know or something I can do?
hypoxic: (in this generation)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2022-09-14 02:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[ the lab is likely bugged. It would be foolish if it wasn't, after everything. But Fitz isn't sure who the bug would belong to. Natasha isn't the only one who's been clear that Fitz needs to be kept under surveillance. ]

Just keep Ward under control. That should take enough effort.
agentskye: (does that make sense?)

[personal profile] agentskye 2022-09-14 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Daisy nods at the mention of Ward. And she agrees. Ward - as always - is a wild card, so who even knows what will happen once he's back to normal. Daisy thinks that they have an understanding of sorts but it's still possible that that will blow up in her face even if she is cautious and undoubtedly able to crush him with her powers.

She moves towards the door before she turns around again, to look at her friend. ]


It was good to see you, Fitz. [ And despite everything, it's true. It feels like a step into the right direction anyway. ]