TEST DRIVE MEME #27

[penancemods]

Arrival

"Judgement has come upon you. God has deemed you worthy of Hell. But don't worry, it can still be undone," comes a soothing voice that echoes all around you. The voice promises comfort, hope even.

It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.

It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.

And so you do.

Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, but only a second.

Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.

Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.

The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"

Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please continue on until you reach Death's office. He'll have your contracts ready for you."

There's a slightly wicked twist to her lips. "Please do feel free to ask him about any of those sins listed..."

And so on, sinners travel until they finally arrived at another office where Death sits waiting. Here is where you'll receive a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written on with their blood. That explains the wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. Death will also provide slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android.

Seems as though Hell has moved on up from the very old Blackberry type phone.

Once characters have their device and their contracts, they're ushered further down the hall. It seems to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon the lobby of Penance hotel. Once there, they will notice several shops and other areas around the front desk.

The demon at the front desk looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend sights to see around the hotel.


Stand Your Ground

While the Mares have gone, as per Death's bargain with God, and reconstructing Penance is coming along fairly well, the air is carrying with it a cold crispness that sends a chill down one's spine. Lucifer is still nowhere to be found, and if pressured, staff will say he's having talks with the other Lords of Hell, as well as God himself. Things need to be worked out, no matter how difficult it is for Lucifer to accept and swallow his pride. He won't be around to offer warmth to the Penance community and it may, in fact, be mirroring his current mood.

Or it may be the creeping sense of doom that's following so many around now that The Veiled Order has been able to nearly complete their next spell. Local demons will plainly say that God won't help them against this threat, that he doesn't care if Hell is destroyed, and others will be very hush about the situation entirely. No need to scare the local sinners, new or old!

Instead just enjoy the reopening businesses around the local area! Nothing is off-limits. Hellburbia seems to have suffered some extensive damage recently, but not to worry! There's talk of building back better than ever.

Other than that, Helluva Cup has a new spiced drink... and spiced everything. That's right! Pumpkin spice has apparently come early this year... and it may be a bit overpowering and in everything in the coffee shop, regardless of what you order. Even Bean, the 'friendly' hell rat the owner keeps in the shop seems to be feasting on pumpkin flavored meat. That's probably okay. Right?

Penance Library is offering a special reading of Leviathan-specific reads. The local goblins will be doing readings every afternoon for all who care to listen or to stick around and discuss it. These will all be fictional in nature, not historic texts.

Strangely enough, there seems to be a sort of curfew happening. While everyone will not be expected to be in the hotel necessarily, they must take shelter in the newly opened Club Penance, Casino Styx, Hella Shorty's, or other establishments. They must either stay the night in these establishments or be escorted to the hotel by demonic guards. These guards will be doing rounds around the Penance community to ensure no one is out alone. Do not fight them or they may surprise you with how strong they can be.

Additionally, anyone caught defying curfew knowingly or fighting back will be locked in their rooms for up to three days as a potential danger to the community as a whole. There are all sorts of dangers lurking out there and the demons are absolutely trying to keep everyone as safe as they can!

Otherwise, it's business as usual around Penance, so go on an exploration! Bundle up against the cold! Have fun!


Reach Up High

WARNINGS: cutting, blood, torture

Whether you've been here for months or you're freshly arrived, your demonic overlord unfortunately expects some participation despite the current state of things. You can try and shirk the responsibility, of course. You can bargain your way out of it for a while. But eventually, you may find yourself trapped in a room just off the gym that's been fondly dubbed The Torture Room. It has all manner of equipment in there, along with an iron maiden even.

But don't worry about any of that right now. It probably won't be used.

You can try the door, but even with super human strength or every lock picking skill in the book, you won't be able to open it.

It soon becomes apparent what you're supposed to do when someone else is eventually shoved in with you. Both of your lists of sins will appear on a table that's been placed in the center of the room with two handy knives. You can choose to guard these or not care at all that they're on display.

"Unfortunately, due to Father coming back into the picture, I know that He will demand punishment be delivered despite our circumstances. I have chosen a rather easy one, focused on honesty and acceptance of your sins. Please pick up a knife and choose a sin from each of your lists to carve upon your skin. Aid each other in your journey, carve the words to help your fellow penitent be candid with everyone around them!"

The voice rings out within the sinners' heads as it always does, although Lucifer seems agitated at the moment, hesitant in some way that he usually isn't.

"I do apologize for this. If it was up to me, you would have been free of additional torment this month. However, there will be additional incentive for anyone who should try to resist the task I've appointed them."

It isn't a lie nor an idle threat either. The longer you wait to do what's been requested of you, the more shallow cuts that will appear on both of your bodies. Are you really prepared to endure this pain when giving in would be so much easier?

And more than that, are you willing to let another suffer along with you?

Eventually, the cuts will stop if you suffer them long enough, but you'll have failed this challenge and sustained more damage than if you'd just gone along with it. Satan will also be very disappointed in you.


Follow Me Down

Prompt I: Reopening

WARNINGS: sex, drugs, alcohol, aphrodisiacs, body changes, potential kinks, violence, potential non-con or dub-con.

Club Penance is finally back! And with themed nights to start off all the fun. This night's theme is: Anything But Clothes. Guests who enter the adult oriented side of the club will notice the incubi and succubi who serve in it are entirely without clothes (and any ounce of shame!). They're eager to get right back to business. They're very encouraging of others to do the same whether it be immediately or in sexy strip shows.

On their trays, they offer drinks and drugs of all sorts. Shows are being put on on the stage as usual, the offer of sex demos with guest participation are still on the table.

As usual, these demons play under respectable rules in the club, safe words and all. They will also gladly exit the stage and let guests entirely run the show. They're on their best behavior tonight, even if the natural aphrodisiacs they give off seem to be amped up

Guests who refused to undress may also find their clothes randomly disappearing, or being torn off by some eager patron or demon who is a bit too into the theme! Ah, well, no need to worry too much. There will be costumes and lingerie to slip on to go home in. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a walk of shame back to the hotel in nothing but a thong, they'll assure. It's just another night in Hell.

For those who are really adventurous, there are also special concoctions that the club offers. These include:

Frenzy ○ The drug will be given to anyone anyone who asks for it. It can be snorted, injected, taken in pill form, or smoked given user preference.

Despite the questionable name, guests who partake really will feel the best they've possibly ever felt. They won't need sleep or to rest, but they won't necessarily feel the strain on their bodies either. They'll be full of energy and their mood will be amazing with no hint of nightmares or dreams anywhere.

The demons won't let anyone come down either, not once they've started and not until they're told a guest doesn't want any more.

Even then, they may still try to convince them otherwise. It's a party for as long as you can go, or until you completely burn out, it seems.

But with all good things come bad. It seems a side-effect of the drug is an actual frenzy as well. A frenzy for sex or violence or anything a character might want that they deny themselves on the regular. They'll feel this growing hunger, this ravenous need to have and to claim everything they think is theirs.

Some may even fade away into an almost animalistic sort of state.

The more the guest takes, the more they'll experience this sensation. Fighting it won't help either. Though they did sort of bring that one on themselves, didn't they?

Other symptoms of coming down won't be too different to those of other drugs. Fatigue, depression. Guests will begin to feel the effects of staying up for so long without rest or stopping to take care of themselves. They may also feel a certain longing for more, but it can be fought off with enough strength of will.

The drug isn't free either. The succubi expect to be paid in energy or through actual work in the club.

Bond ○ A potion that will bond guests together the minute one speaks to the other. The encouragement is that this should be done consensually, but the demons won't necessarily be checking. Once bonded, guests will feel what the one who took the potion feels. This includes pain and pleasure both with effects lasting a full night. Give someone the most intense pleasure of their lives or torture them until they beg for mercy!

For a really intense experience, both participants can consume the potion with mutual effects.

For the dance oriented portion of the club, the theme is a little more lax. Instead of outright nakedness, patrons may be offered revealing clubwear instead. Things that will look mesmerizing in the lights of the club ranging from neon colors to clothes that seem to flash on the dance floor. The music will be thrumming in the air, pumping down to your very bones as you dance the night away, and all patrons will feel good. It will feel as if they could actually dance all night if they so wanted, even without the aid of any drugs.

It will be an all night rave with all the party drugs and drinks one could want! Live music plays all night. The band also loves to receive requests, so knock yourself out! They seem to strangely know any song they're asked to play.

Knock yourself out, give up any care in the world and have fun. You're already in Hell, so don't you deserve to feel good for a while?


Prompt II: Your Average Hotel Night

WARNINGS: Alcohol and drug abuse, potential non-con/dub-con

With all the sinners, new and old, the hotel bar will be lit up with activity. Drinks will be readily available, there's food in the kitchens if anyone wants to bother serving it, music will be blaring whenever there's electricity, and overall, there will be an energy to the atmosphere that's absolutely contagious. Even if you aren't typically inclined to linger at these sorts of events there may be be a certain pull to stay and have a bit of fun.

You might not get much of a chance to have that in Hell, after all. One drink won't hurt, right? Nor will one more after that, and after that. Ah, sweet gluttony. Why not have a pastry next? There's some delectable sweets available just a few steps away. More of a meat person? Like things salty? Fear not, it looks like someone graciously brought all sorts of snacks and foodstuffs from the kitchens to the bar as the night progresses. Indulge! You deserve it.

Similar to Club Penance, the bar also has every sort of drug available that might tickle your fancy and some you've never heard of. There's no harm in experimenting, is there? You're already in Hell. The staff will offer to show anyone how to use the drugs or give advice for what to try if you tell them what you want to experience. Shockingly, they won't lie! Their advice is good word its just you might not have been exactly prepared for it.

There's a stage and a karaoke machine for those feeling brave or just wanting to torture people with some sweet, sweet renditions of The Devil Went Down to Georgia.

There are tables set up for all sorts of gambling and various bar games to entertain yourself with. Since currency as most are familiar with it doesn't quite exist down here, most of the demons seem to be accepting bits of your soul or offers to do chores around the hotel. You may also get pulled into a fun game of strip poker against one of your fellow guests for a few succubi that are having a night out.

Relax and enjoy your night. Coming here and facing your sins is the hard part, so surely you deserve to have a little fun.


Wildcard/Misc.

Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.



And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the September 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.

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Comments

[greedbowstome]

It was absolutely partially an effort of keeping tabs on him. He worries about Jesper and maybe it's doubled in the wake of... everything. So, if asked, that's probably exactly the story he'd be sticking to, thanks.

He finished off his whisky seconds before Noah slid back in front of him with a tray of... something. Some set of shots with a ridiculous name, no doubt, such is the way of clubs. "If you insist."

The words are barely out of his mouth before Jesper appears from Saints-know-where. "I never intended to leave the booth." He levels his sharpshooter with a look. He knows better.

[enoderedrum]

It's taking everything in him to not crawl up on top of the damn table at this point. Trying to sit normal to not invade on Kaz's space is harder than it looks even if he probably still is sitting too close as it is.

Jesper plops down with them and Noah is confronted with that moment again where he wonders why he insists he doesn't like this damn boy. He does. He doesn't. It doesn't matter.

"Jes be nice, a lot of fun can be had in one of these booths. Trust me," Noah chuckles and reaches for one of the shots. He tongues his cheek and considers the other two through the misty blue that his vision keeps taking. The air tastes like cotton candy and it takes a second before he holds the shot up, "To...experiencing fun. In the booth." He doesn't even wait, really, just glances at Kaz levely and shoots it back.

[triggerguard]

"Now that I am curious about. Details or a demonstration, please and thank you."

For all their pretended whatever it was, Jesper liked Noah. He wasn't about to make a secret of that fact--even if they could be at odds on more than one point from time to time. So he's fairly quick to follow the lead, tossing back the shot with ease.

"Has a kick to it." It had a fun afterburn, a pleasant little fire that was budding and spreading in his chest. He might need more than one of these as the night wears on.

[greedbowstome]

"No demonstrations," it's Noah's turn to get a look leveled at him. Do not take Jesper's suggestions, thanks.

Still. He's not shy to alcohol, so Kaz rolls his eyes at Noah's weirdly pointed glance and tosses back the shot along with them. His nose crinkles slightly. "Too sweet."

[enoderedrum]

What a party pooper. Too bad Noah does what Noah wants for the most part, anyway.

For the few moments it takes for both Jes and Kaz to drink the shots, Noah sits patiently (ignore that his knee is bouncing under the table) and waits till all of the drink is gone. Then he waits for a few more seconds to be sure before his eyes roll and he finally does - literally crawl - over the table towards Jes.

"Everything is too sweet for you, Kaz," he snorts and reaches around the back of the other teens neck and smiles before he meets his mouth in a kiss; there isn't anything sweet about it, no tip toeing, no second guesses. Attraction had never been the problem with Jes, nope.

[triggerguard]

For all his talk of 'playing nice', Noah seems to be having a time directly ignoring Kaz's insistence on no demonstrations. Because what ever that was with the table? Was certainly a show.

And Jesper was going to enjoy that little finale. Noah had his moments of being coy, but that kiss was anything but--and if he was going to go out with making a display of it, who was Jesper to argue? It seemed to be par for the course for this club if the crowd of writhing bodies was anything to go by. And those were the kind of rules that were easy to follow for someone like Jesper.

"Point taken, the booths can be fun." And if it's said with a cheeky grin and a wink in Kaz's direction--well maybe he'll let that slide with the excuse of alcohol and whatever else this club may have offered up.

[greedbowstome]

He rolls his eyes as Noah climbs on top of the table and crawls across it over to Jesper. "You are so bloody contrary, for no reason." He sounds exasperated, but it doesn't much matter, does it? It's happening, whether he likes it or not.

As soon as Noah grabs Jesper, there's... something. The ghost of a hand cupping around the back of his head and– more intensely– a phantom press of lips against his. Something not quite as foreign as it had been weeks ago after his-brain-on-drugs-experiments in the asylum, but... wrong. Impossible.

By the time the wink from Jesper comes, Kaz is confused and frowning slightly as he tries to suss out what just happened. "...What exactly was in that shot, Noah." It isn't even a question, more than it's a demand for answers.

[enoderedrum]

Is Noah used to Kaz and his little remarks at this point? Yep! Absolutely. He expects them, really. If Kaz stopped calling him some form of ridiculous he would think something was wrong.

When the kiss breaks he chuckles softly and playfully scrapes his teeth along the edge of Jespers jaw.

Caught.

He slowly sits back and adjusts so he can slide down into a straddling position in Jespers lap instead, “Something to take the edge off.”

He leans back against the edge of the table and with tricksy fingers finds the rim of Kaz’s hat where it’s discarded, and puts it on, “Just relax, yeah? Perfectly safe.”

[triggerguard]

There's a subtle shudder at the scrape of teeth against his skin. The slow grin and darkening, hooded gaze that crosses Jesper's features is something Kaz has likely seen across the Crow Club's halls--but it would be a new experience feeling the ghost of the attraction that goes with it.

"He's not going to like you dancing around the question like that." He murmurs, arms casually sliding around Noah as he finds his lap suddenly occupied. He's half curious about the drink himself--but he doubts Noah's going to just hand out a solid answer.

"You all right, Kaz?"

[greedbowstome]

He bites the inside of his cheek to resist the natural urge to react to the light brush of teeth against his– no, Jesper's– jaw. "The pills in the asylum were a one-off, I don't–" But whatever he was about to say is cut short as Noah flips the hat onto his own head. "Safe doesn't exist in this place."

"And you're so innocent that you don't know what it was?" His eyes snap to Jesper, narrowed suspiciously. "Probably decided it together. Gits, the both of you." But it's harder to ignore the weight that feels like it's in his own lap.

[enoderedrum]

Still leaning back on his elbows, Noah bites his bottom lip and just watches both of them looking like some sneaky cat more than a friendly ghost.

“Mm,” he sucks his lip a moment then releases it and shakes his head, “This booth is safe. Jes is safe. I’m safe. The drink was safe…since you’re with us,” he tips his head a little and chuckles, offering Jesper a faux innocent grin, “Oops. You’re in trouble now, too. Think he’ll spank us?”

But then he drums his fingers on the edge of the table top, “You’re just feeling everything Jespers feeling. That’s all.”

Short. Sweet. To the point.

[triggerguard]

"If I'm in trouble, it's because of you." He grumbles, a little miffed at being pinned as a party to all of this. He may not be complaining, but he certainly didn't plan it.

"He's half as tricksome as you, Kaz." For good measure, he pinches Noah's side in a bit of retribution--though he does drop a kiss to his cheek in way of a swift apology not two seconds later. "Don't go thinking I had anything to do with it. You think I want you feeling what I do--thanks, Noah."

[greedbowstome]

"You're an absolute brat." He snaps at Noah, eyes narrowed at him. "Why would you do that?" Beyond the irritation, there's something worse underneath it all, this sort of betrayal of trust he's just started to put into Noah, only to be tricked like that. He's already wondering if he should rethink the offer he'd only just accepted days ago.

It's unnatural, the way he can feel the pinch between his own fingers, that brush of lips at Noah's cheek against his own, like he'd done it himself. It's a loss of agency for the both of them in a way he can barely wrap his mind around.

"Safe? I don't think being duped into something we neither one asked for qualifies as safe." He growls the words out.

[enoderedrum]

“I can be, yeah,” Noah admits but he tries to focus through everything he’s actually on and levels Kaz with a look.

He isn’t sure how many people know about what they agreed to, and luckily he has enough faculties to not just blurt out that he and Kaz had something they were going to be working on.

Noah licks his lips slowly and clears his throat, “Do you really think I would do this to you without thinking about it first? I have my reasons if you would just trust me.”

Why would Noah go out of his way to guard Kaz in the damn hospital if he was just going to betray him or something stupid?

Pointedly he reaches for Jespers hands and carefully smoothes his fingers along his palms before lacing their fingers together.

“Can you feel that? What does it feel like?”

[triggerguard]

Thankfully, for all involved, Jesper is at least aware of some offer Noah had made--though he's surprised Kaz actually went through with agreeing to it. It's not hard to put the pieces together and realize this was connected in some way.

"You probably should have given him some warning if you wanted him to trust this." But he's too curious to see what Noah plans next to pull away, letting him take his hands without a fight. If Kaz really could feel all of this, he can see why Noah might take this approach. Sensation without actual contact--interesting.

But still--"We can leave, Kaz. If you need to." He was going to offer an out.

[greedbowstome]

He narrows his eyes at Noah, though he does not answer him. It would have been a risk of not agreeing, he understands why he skipped the informing part of this til it was over— chances are, Kaz might do the same over something. Doesn’t mean he will give Noah the satisfaction of the answer, though.

He meets Jesper’s gaze, and it’s subtle, but there is an appreciation there for the easy out. “It’s.. fine I—” but that sensation of fingers against his palm is distracting.

It’s a strange thing, this phantom touch that both is and isn’t real, simultaneously. His gaze drops down to his hand, frowning slightly. “…yes. It’s— ” he hesitates, grasping for the words. “faint, but still obvious.” And nothing like if Noah was touching him directly.

[enoderedrum]

The second Noah is aware that Kaz isn’t going to freak out more than usual, he offers a slow nod and lets the close feeling he actually does enjoy take the reigns again.

Slowly he pulls his flexes his fingers and curls them again, watching his and Jespers connected hands for a moment.

“If you at any point really want me to stop, I will,” he snorts softly, “I’m a brat. Not an asshole.”

One set of their joined hands, he brings up to his face and he kisses each of Jespers knuckles separately before he untangles their fingers to gently bite the tip of one.

Sensations were sensations. He kind of wanted to know which ones he Iike get the most reaction. From both of them actually.

His eyes turned up and he looked over Jespers face, “You can do whatever you want.”

[triggerguard]

"A very generous offer," Jesper replies, though for the moment he makes no move to take advantage of it. Any other time, he might have. But--"I made a promise to not go looking for too much trouble."

He had just explained the whole of what happened at the asylum to Wylan. He had a feeling that this scenario wouldn't go over as well if he took advantage of it. He was already going to have a hell of a time explaining what had happened thus far--best to not complicate that more by actively doing anything to take it in that direction.

Besides, this whole setup was managing to have Kaz distracted and tongue-tied, and that was a very curious thing that had most of his attention.

"Considering that this is supposed to help Kaz...I'm more than willing to stick around, though. Interested in seeing what happens there."

[greedbowstome]

Noah is an irritating— or perhaps the better word is infuriating— person to deal with. He does things outside of Kaz’s comfort zone nearly constantly, but somehow manages to do it in a way that has yet to make him write the other boy off completely. Maybe it’s that he’s so obviously aware of what he’s done, and that Kaz might react adversely, end whatever thing he’s tried to start before it has a chance to truly begin. If asked, he’d be hard pressed to explain it all, exactly. He just knows he doesn’t mind it much.

He’s certain that once he’s given time to think it over, that fact, as obvious as it will be right now, might crawl under Jesper’s skin. But right now, at least, he seems sufficiently enough distracted.

‘Whatever you want’ is excessively open-ended and given the drugs. The booze. This place. Jesper’s recklessness. Noah’s little comment sends a tiny shock of panic at the idea. His eyebrows arch at the words.

And his expression smooths again at Jesper’s soft denial of the offer. A promise. No doubt to Wylan. He supposes Jesper told him as much as he told Inej: Everything.

Though it’s Jesper that Noah is touching, the feeling is reverberated into Kaz… somehow. He isn’t sure. It’s probably magic, and he wishes he understood the wide variety of things at play in Hell better than he does.

The tangle of their fingers reminds him of the room he’d stolen away to with Jesper, the incessantly curious way he could hardly stop touching him, because he just could, in that moment. He’d arguably done the same later with Noah. The kiss he’d shared with Inej.

He wants it to be that easy again. He’s not sure it’s possible.

[enoderedrum]

“Generous, you bet. But,” And Noah glances at Kaz, “I knew Jesper wouldn’t do anything too scandalous with me so I figured he was a safe bet to do this with.”

Jesper was safe because Jesper didn’t look at him the way he looked at, say, Kavinsky. Which was fine.

But god he didn’t think this though as well as he should have. He didn’t want to be sober. He really truly didn’t. He wanted to just — not exist for a while. But to do this, this safe preview sort of thing, it had to be now.

Noah swallowed softly and shifted up to sit on the table top again so he wasn’t directly on top of Jespers lap anymore.

“Is it your entire body or just certain parts that…you know…make you want to hit people with your stick.”

[triggerguard]

"Don't mention bets. Those aren't exactly a safe call with me." It's unnerving in a way, the way Noah has a read on them both--and on how well of a fit they could be in this situation. At the end of the day, even if he took Noah up on that rather open invitation, he wouldn't have taken it too far. Not when Kaz was at the end of a tether and at risk of being pushed too far out of his own comfort.

He's actually surprised Kaz hasn't bolted already.

And as much as he hadn't liked hearing that Noah had been in on the realities of his affliction before he had been, he has to admit that he has a way with this. Jesper settles back into the booth once Noah's back on the tabletop, gaze fixed on Kaz as he waits for the answer. Should he still be here to listen to this? He's well aware Noah had designed for him to have a part to play in getting here, but he has to wonder how welcome he'd continue to be.

[greedbowstome]

In another moment, Kaz could almost laugh at that comment about bets, but as it is, it doesn’t get even the hint of a smirk.

At Noah’s question, his gaze glides up to him, perched on top of the table like a bloody disaster. “It’s not specific like that. It’s just… bare skin on skin.” Even admitting it out loud, putting words behind it in an exacting sort of explanation feels strange and foreign—

He wants to leave.
The conversation.
The table.
The room.

But he doesn’t.

[enoderedrum]

Noah’s brow furrows thoughtfully at that and he shifts on the table top so he’s more infront of Kaz then Jesper for the moment.

“Just bare skin?” He holds his hand out for Kaz’s, “Touch me then.”

Because he wants to feel what it feels like for him to do it.

[greedbowstome]

He doesn't like the way he shifts over to focus on him suddenly. He doesn't shrink back, but a part of him really wants to. His eyes are narrowed up at him as he considers that for a long, silent moment.

First: It's almost a test. How much does he actually trust Noah?

Second: He's suddenly incredibly aware of how public of a place they're doing all of this and he only barely manages to keep the urge to glance around in check.

But maybe most importantly: This thing that Noah had given them means Jesper is going to feel this the way he does. Does he dare let him in like that? Subject him to how terrible it is?

His gaze slides past Noah, perched on the table in front of him, waiting expectantly, to Jesper behind him. It's brief, but it's perhaps the closest to an apologetic look he's ever given anyone before he looks back at Noah again. Whether from the drink, or just because that's something Noah does, he'll feel it, too, an he has to assume that's where this is stemming from.

The choice is molasses slow, but it eventually is made. He reaches up to carefully tug one, ever-present black glove off of his hand and sets it on the table. It's another beat. Two. Four. Before he finally steels himself enough to reach over and grab Noah's hand.

It's ice water crashing down on him–

it's a struggle to keep his head above water, drowning–

it's a sea-sickness that never really goes away–

it's a repulsed shudder down his spine–

it's the Barge and the dead in every state imaginable–

it's cold, clamy, skeletal fingers grabbing at him–

it's something sharp and cold and tight as a vice grip in his chest–

it's dizzying and impossible to breathe–

it's darkness trying to flood in from every side–

He manages to yank his hand away before he passes out, at least, his arm tucked close to his chest so Noah can't try again, if he thinks to try at all. He doesn't know which of them to focus on, and his eyes glance back and forth between the other two boys in front of him, not sure what to think– but there's an intense sort of panic threading through his veins now that will take more than a few minutes to sort through in his head.

He's not 9 in the Barge surrounded by dead bodies, he's 17 and in Hell, in some stupid club on the request of some ridiculous boy.
It's not real.
It's not real. It's not real. It's not real.

[triggerguard]

Jesper thinks he's prepared for it, thinks he has a handle on what to expect, and despite Kaz's near apologetic look he isn't worried. But then it hits--cold and sudden. He can't breathe--there's an echo of the touch from Noah's end but it swept up in the current of all that is Kaz and his reaction. It's a force that drowns out everything else and pulls it under in its wake.

"Saints..." He breathes out as the effect abruptly cuts--Kaz's doing he's sure. He looks at the other boy in that moment and sees the panic. Kaz Brekker has many masks, and he wears them well, but this is not something so easily hidden.

"Breathe...Kaz, breathe." He edges closer, leaving enough space so he isn't crowding him, but enough so he can be heard over the din of the club. If that was what is was like every time someone touched him...

I think it'll be worse for it...I don't think it will work.

All of Kaz's worries in the asylum come crashing in and make all that more sense for it.