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Penance Mods ([personal profile] penancemods) wrote in [community profile] penancememes2022-02-24 09:33 pm
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TEST DRIVE MEME #32

Arrival
"Judgement has come upon you. God has deemed you worthy of Hell. But don't worry, it can still be undone," comes a soothing voice that echoes all around you. The voice promises comfort, hope even.

It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.

It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.

And so you do.

Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, And it seems to linger for a long time. There is nothing at all. It must be lonely. But it won’t be forever.

Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.

Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.

The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"

Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please take your care package and continue on until you reach the stairs."

On their way out, sinners receive their 'package', a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written with their blood. That explains the palm wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. They will also receive a slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android and a pamphlet made by other sinners during their stay here with useful tips.

After that, sinners will be ushered on to a set of stairs where a guard waits. "Welcome to Penance," the demon says gruffly before motioning them on without an ounce of courtesy. "Don't hold up the line."

They seem to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon what appears to be a lobby of a hotel. Once there, they will notice several shops and other areas around the front desk.

The demon at the front desk looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend sights to see around the hotel.


Stand Your Ground
The morning reveals the first glimpse of Spring that Penance has seen in months. The frigid temperatures seem to be receding and the blood snow is finally melting. Repairs around the hotel are back on track, returning it to its former glory as the kitchens and other supplies slowly begin to fill back up. Everyone seems tentatively hopeful that maybe, just maybe, things are veering back towards normal.

Or as normal as they can be in these very uncertain times, with Mammon seemingly content to stay in Penance for an extended vacation and the gruesome remains of Hellburbia. The local demons seem rather pleased to be getting back to normal, at least. The hotel cafe, Helluvacup is officially opened for business again! This time with an array of spring drinks that included iced strawberry lemonade, a variety of flavored iced coffees, iced teas, and a specially blended coconut drink made with some ground up hell flora that’s said to increase stamina and well-being. Samples of these drinks will be provided by Bean the hell rat, who will be donning a little bee costume to encourage guests to come by and say hi!

Careful, he bites a little bit and may or may not carry a disease or two. If anyone tries to hurt him, they’ll have to contend with the manager. That’s his pride and joy after all. As normal as Hell seems to be, there’s an odd stirring at night. It sounds like something flying outside or claws tapping against the roof. It isn’t the Mares, but it certainly sounds like something. As days go on, guests may start to see dragons from Mammon’s lands out of the corner of their eye or picking through alleyways to hoard up items. They may sneak into the hotel if they’re tiny enough and steal small trinkets. There are also strange sightings of another new face hanging around these dragons. Mammon seems rather… disturbed by him, oftentimes complaining under his breath about that buffoon showing up.

Demonic staff assure sinners it’s nothing at all to worry about though! Just ignore it.

Besides, there are more fun things to focus on. There are free hell horse riding lessons coming up at the stables. Why, one might ask? Well, it’s simple really… Lucifer is planning a hunt that will take volunteers outside of Penance’s walls. He still has his little brother to save after all, and a spear to find. He hasn’t forgotten the thread of the Veiled Order or the fact that Barbas is contained in a mansion in Hellburbia!

Lessons will focus on gaining your horse’s trust. A bit more complicated than what a mortal may be used to, it takes some work to earn your horse’s respect. They may be bribed with flesh, blood, or the occasional brushing and petting. Spending time talking with your horse and sharing a bit of who you are with them doesn’t hurt at all either… they like it when people seem to ignore their sometimes grotesque appearances.

These clever beasts will also be hesitant to be ridden at first, but with enough training, should be able to navigate a training course set up for this special occasion.

It will be encouraged to camp out with your selected horse in the evenings to strengthen your bond, so sinners will be given a bonfire and plenty of simple foods for their camping adventure. Don’t worry, it will seem oddly warm thanks to the fires!

Mornings will be met with scooping up any messes the horses leave and feeding them their daily flesh and water. Do try not to lose any fingers! They get a little over-excited at times…


Reach Up High

Prompt I: The First Pull is the Hardest
WARNINGS: mutilation, blood, torture.

Lucifer's voice rings out as it always does, compassion and warmth clear despite his words. It lingers in guests' ears even as they're forced into a dark room by demons and shown an ominous looking device just waiting for them.
"Welcome, my honored guests! Since some of your ilk have displayed an alarming tendency towards secrecy and outright lying, I've come up with a way for you to practice frank discussion instead. What I ask of you won't be an easy task, but it will be a lesson that's valuable to learn. When the device before you turns on, it will display a sin one of you are guilty of. You will be given exactly one minute to begin explaining what happened and how. Do be frank about it, and fair warning: if either of you refuse... you're unlikely to be unhappy about the result."
Guests won't have the option of refusing this daunting task. Demons drag sinners in, easily overpowering even the strongest guest if only for long enough to secure them in the seat and shove their hands into the opening of the device. Once secured, sinners are unable to remove their hands as a typing noise begins sounding out. After a moment, a sheet of paper will then pop out of the top of the device with a ding for guests to read. One sin off their list is printed neatly on it. Guests have one minute to begin explaining what it means and how it happened or why it's a sin of theirs.

Should the guest refuse or fail they will hear the contraption start up. An ominous sound of something shifting rings out before a sharp pain shoots up their finger and ricochets through their body. Each time a person fails their turn they both lose a fingernail. this will keep going until they've lost all ten (or however many the guest may have) or they answer a satisfactory number of sins. It really just depends on which sort of torment the guests are content with suffering through and how much they want redemption.

[Note: How many sins characters have to explain to be released will be left up to player discretion!]


Prompt II: Lend a Hand
WARNINGS: blood mention, torture

With the flood waters receding, it’s time to clean up Hellburbia and get it back in working order. To remove a sin from one’s contract, sinners are encouraged to grab mops and buckets, and any tools they can get their hands on to set to work on the ravished neighborhood. Lucifer wants the homes back to their flawless appearances and habitable again. Demons will be selecting sinners at random if they’re lacking volunteers, and be prepared, if they catch sinners slacking that there will be some harsh punishments!

These demonic construction workers and cleaners are not above whipping, denying water, etc. to those who are being particularly unruly to them. Cleaning isn’t always a breeze. It isn’t meant to be simple.

But it will be worth it in the end when those who wish to move back are able to!

Everyone is encouraged to stay far away from the old mansion where Barbas has been sealed away… but there will be some hoodlum demons with some fresh eggs and rocks that are just begging to be tossed at that old place. Sinners may join them if they dare!


Follow Me Down

Prompt I: A Slave For You
WARNINGS: fantasy slavery, noncon, dubcon, aphrodisiacs, kidnapping

The usual debauchery at Club Penance is on hold, thanks to the way Mammon has settled in the space and converted it to an effective auction house. While Lilith had hoped that Mammon would be bored of his games by now, he hasn't moved on just yet! Mammon’s greed continues to affect anyone who lingers too long, prompting visitors to transition from well-intentioned visitors to fierce bidding competition. Why bring home one thing when you can bring home all of them? Why not drive the bidding higher and higher when it comes to getting what you deserve? Gold and rare items are a fine currency to start with, but the highest-value items will probably cost a bidder a piece of their soul.

With the time since the rushed setup, Mammon has had the opportunity to divide the space more formally. In addition to earlier wares, bidders can compete with one another for valuables from all sorts of worlds, usually pieces of art or other display items. Special auctions spring up for potions or magic charms that aren’t normally available. The auctioneers promise that the sinners addicted to Frenzy, the local drug of choice, would find their way to even higher highs with some of the best alchemy hell has to offer. They recommend getting your hands on the purple powder for a particularly mind-blowing experience.

And as before, there are still regular rounds of slave auctions. These vary from the domestic to the most debauched and depraved forms of servitude, whether bidders are looking for a french maid or a personal footstool.

The hungry club succubi and incubi have ensured that all the slaves are made pliant and assured eager to please whoever buys them. Who can they resist a desperate slave, eager to please? The acts they are expected to perform, as well as the duration of service, seem to be linked to the cost of the slave. Spirited, unbroken new arrivals go for fairly cheap, but the price goes up based on how exotic or well-trained a slave is.

Also new are a hall of group pens where slaves are left to loiter together between auctions. They're a calming space, with one wall made of glass so they can be watched by potential buyers. In the pens, slaves are encouraged to make themselves appealing, and interact with other slaves. Maybe some of them will even get purchased in pairs if they put on a good enough show for the voyeurs outside.

Post-purchase customization is now available for bidders willing to pay top-dollar. It costs a lot to indulge far out kinks such as tentacle play, animal play, guro, etc. But under the heady spirit of competition and need to have more, who cares about the cost of a soul? You aren't using yours anyway. Might as well put it to good use.

Sinners who've been here for weeks might have noticed that the term of a slave purchase seems to be proportional to a slave's price. The cheap ones seem to snap out of it in a day or so, and even though the expensive ones tend to linger under the influence for a week or longer, there's a lot of turnaround. This has resulted in a rash of kidnappings throughout the community. People are being snatched up even if they have the sense to stay far away from the club! It might be safer to travel in groups.


Prompt II: Casino Styx
WARNINGS: dubcon, loss of agency, memory manipulation

For those who thought Casino Styx may never return, they'll find themselves very mistaken. By evening, when the skies have faded from their odd reds and oranges to nearly black, sinners will notice a large, shining construct by the gates of the community once again. The golden exterior draws the eye better than even any Vegas establishment could hope.

Guests will be invited to come check out what's going on. As they near, the lights draw in attention almost as much as the blood 'water' feature dug around the new Casino Styx. The water fountains blast up to five hundred feet in the air on either side of a long bridge that leads across the blood and right to the entrance. Once inside the lavish establishment, guests will see the large statue of Charon that stands in the middle of a pool. To the side is a bowl full of golden coins to tip the ferryman. It's encouraged that all who enter do this simple gesture.

Those who skip it may notice their luck is simply awful all night. The effect may even follow them home.

The water theme only continues on as guests enter the casino proper. The walls look as if they have water cascading down them, but touching it will show it's merely an illusion. Somehow, they still somehow seem to reflect the glittering lights dancing overhead. Guests should appreciate how the atmosphere in the casino seems to inspire relaxation and a good mood.

The casino includes a variety of all the expected games, ranging from slots to poker to blackjack to roulette, and anything else imaginable. What is the point in gambling when there's no currency in Hell, one may ask? Well, that's where the real fun begins!

Sinners can work off items on their contract via gambling. Matching three objects on the slot machine will remove one sin, one time. Any subsequent wins on the slots will give golden coins to give to Charon for extra good luck. Patrons can also put up sins for wager in any competitive game like poker, but do keep in mind that the losers take all the sins on to their list! Be careful playing against demons or 'eating fresh baby' may end up on your contract.

It doesn't stop there, either. In higher stakes games, wagers can be made with bits of soul that get converted to the form of chips, made either with the patron's or, if you're too cowardly to bet your own, harvested from the damned souls in other parts of Hell. Be warned! Lose too many of these chips made from your own soul while gambling and sinners may start to experience a concerning lack of conscience, emotion, or feel a sudden eagerness to indulge in a vice that's natural to them.

So, do they tend to be vain? Suddenly that will be doubled and they may demand to be worshiped. Prone to sloth? Maybe they just won't want to move at all...

Not to worry though. As long as a sinner maintains a a little of their soul, the effect will be temporary as the energy repairs itself and becomes whole again over the next week or two.

Gambling with souls does offer winners the ability to win upgrades to their rooms (Softer beds, better electronics, etc.), earn a night in a lavish suite at the casino that will open soon, or VIP perks at Club Penance. Win big enough and one may also earn a request from home or to be put on a wait list for rooms at the casino to live permanently during their stay.

There are also strip-based games for those feeling frisky. Players will lose articles of clothes for each round they lose and the winner may decide to keep the pieces discarded. These can be played against multiple players or one-on-one.

Finally, there are games where body parts will be the wager... those who are brave enough to part with some flesh will find themselves earning perks around Hell. These will include the ability to escape from future torture for a round or two, or the ability to earn back abilities that may have been previously blocked upon arrival in Penance. They may also win a night with Lucifer or Lilith (Not in that way! Winners will get to ask questions or tour parts of Hell that may have been previously off-limits). Players will just have to ask themselves if it's worth losing an actual arm or leg for...

What's a night of gambling and vice without a quickie wedding or two? Without a place to make some bad decisions? While marriage isn't generally customary in Hell, there's a nice little wedding chapel in the casino for those impulse decisions! The marriages performed won't necessarily be binding in the traditional sense, but will be officiated by either a Grim Reaper or a fairly bad Lucifer impersonator who seems to use darling a bit too much. His roots are starting to show, too...

Oh, and are those LED lights he's got attached to his suit to make himself glow? Oh, well, if you ignore all that, it's not bad.

The ceremony will not be religion-based and will have appropriately Hell-like vows unless the spouses-to-be choose to write their own or request otherwise.

Oh, one more thing... while these marriages will be only as binding as sinners desire them to be, Lucifer will not freely annul them if that's the route sinners want to take. He will expect favors in return, generally in the form of service. Play assistant or housekeeper for a bit, earn your annulment and put that bad move right behind yourself!

Of course gambling and marriages aren't the only thing to focus on! What sort of Hell establishment would this be if there weren't servers clad in old fashion Cigarette Girl outfits carrying around trays of treats to offer guests? Sinners may get parched between enthralling games after all. These treats include food, drinks, cigarettes, drugs, etc. Go ahead and indulge! No one will judge a little gluttony around these parts! Just watch anything chocolate... rumor has it, it makes one inclined to visit that chapel...

[At the moment, we are allowing players to decide among themselves who will win or claim one free sin removal from the slot machines. If you want a sin removed, please note it on the sin removal page and be sure to link a completed thread. If you're cashing in a perk, please link it on the request page with what you're wanting for mod review! Please note that while some abilities may be unlocked, nothing too game breaking will be allowed.]


Wildcard/Misc.
Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions or sample threads.



Thanks for clicking on our February TDM! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.

This is the first app round of the year. Reserves are currently open, and Apps will open March 1st.

If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.


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bardicdisaster: (103)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-02 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Jaskier makes a faint noise of amusement at the mention of inspiration, kept quiet due to his indecision whether the sound is authentic or feigned. He doesn't know how to feel about it because comments like that were usually Geralt taking the piss out of Jaskier in a subtle way when he could put a momentary pause on all the brooding and frowning. But the silence beforehand felt a little...off. Not in a way that Jaskier could quite articulate just yet, but it felt a little strange. More like Geralt was thinking on something rather than his usual resistance to conversation where he holds on to that ridiculous hope that if he's quiet long enough, Jaskier will let the conversation die and lapse into prolonged silence instead.

Which makes Jaskier regard what Geralt says next with a bit of suspicion. Jaskier may, at times, be a fool, but he's not an idiot. Geralt is deeply private and it is a chore—nay, a pain in the ass—to get any details out of him most of the time. But Geralt says nothing about that debt and Jaskier's stomach tightens a little for his friend's sake. He knows Geralt still has his whole detached thing to maintain from time to time—even if everyone who knows him knows it's bullshit—but a debt that he needs to repay by doing this?

"Hang on," Jaskier says, moving closer to Geralt despite his misgivings about the horse, making certain Geralt cannot just pretend Jaskier's not there and has to pay attention to him. "I know you often ignore me when I'm speaking, but sometimes I think you do that to yourself as well because, Geralt..."

Words fail Jaskier for a moment, a smile appearing on his face as a light, short-lived (and blatantly nervous) laugh emerges in place of anything else. He puts a hand on Geralt's shoulder just in case his attention is about to wane from Jaskier.

"Listen, we can absolutely talk about how insane it is that you have come to the conclusion that better is gallivanting off into gods only know what rather than sticking with the risks and dangers here that you actually know. But first, you have a debt to repay?

"Geralt, please tell me you didn't make a deal with someone here."
softlybutwithfeeling: (pic#14934672)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-04 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
"No," Geralt answers that question with almost uncharacteristic promptness. His mood, however, is as brooding and gloomy as anyone who's met him in the past decades of his long life would expect. In a way, that would be more straight forward. Which isn't enough of a reason to motivate him to strike a bargain with a demon. Fuck that. Straight forward doesn't necessarily mean better. But it would be simpler, and it wouldn't involve Yennefer—which might be a redundancy.

He has to think again about what to say. What he wants to say and what he has to say, which might not be exactly the same list.

He wants to ask Jaskier what the hell he's even doing here, when he arrived. He wants to ask if the bard is actually dead.

Instead, he offers a gob of raw meat to the the nightmare horse, coaxing her close enough to touch her ugly face. As if he didn't miss Roach enough before this. On the other hand, if he has to ride out into the land around Penance, an ugly horse might suit it.

"No," he repeats then, and adds helpfully. "I haven't made any deals. Until recently, I've done my best not to get involved in all the mess between demons and lords of Hell."

They're every bit as bad as the lords he's known before.

"But things got messy. You just got here. Believe me, you're luckier for it."
bardicdisaster: (45)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-05 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
Jaskier can't help pulling a face as Geralt feeds the horse, and he can't determine what's worse: Geralt willingly petting the thing like he would Roach or the horse having at the raw flesh the way a regular one would at some offered carrot. But his ability to focus on that with the bit of relief that Geralt at least hadn't been that stupid is short-lived when Geralt clarifies. Or rather when he ultimately doesn't. While arguably one of the worse potential motivators for Geralt's participation in this hunt is eliminated, that still leaves a dozen or so others and none of them really stand out as anything good.

"Not really," Jaskier says with a slight shake of his head. "Late to it or not, I'm still in the mess with you, Geralt."

The words aren't an accusation, spoken with earnest rather than resentment or accusation. They're a promise underscoring what Jaskier has been saying and Geralt has spent decades denying.
softlybutwithfeeling: (pic#14934668)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-06 05:08 am (UTC)(link)
"You might think twice before throwing your lot in with me," Geralt says, shaking his head. He didn't expect quite so much... concern. Perhaps that is unfair on Geralt's part.

He's been unfair a few times lately.

"Yennefer's here," he admits finally, surrendering to the implicit pressure to explain more. "She was manipulated into a marriage with a demon lord."

Which should be enough information for Jaskier to put together that for whatever has passed between him and Yennefer, he'll try to help her. Jaskier also knows both of them well enough to know it's only a matter of time before Yennefer does something drastic in a situation.

"Are you sure that's something you want to stick your neck in?"
bardicdisaster: (45)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-06 07:16 am (UTC)(link)
"Oh, gods no," Jaskier says easily and with no hesitation. Between both the players and the stakes, he has no business getting involved with any of it. Especially because of the players involved. Jaskier feels the whiplash of one moment Yennefer is on thin ice for the stunt she pulled with Ciri and now Geralt is ready to risk it all for her. Again. Jaskier can't help but wonder if Yennefer's head spins with all of this sometimes, too. "The last thing I want to do is get wrapped up in anything to do with Yennefer let alone Yennefer and you together because in case you hadn't noticed, something always manages to explode. A lot."

Whether it's a building or a friendship, there's always a disaster in the wake of a problem Yennefer is having and Geralt tries to fix it. The last time, Jaskier had a stressful day hiding under a table. Granted, it was a step up from the time before when he got left navigating his way down a mountainside by himself, but he remains unendeared to the prospect all the same.

"But I guess two decades of following you around and I'm nearly as fucking insane as you are," he says with a shrug of his shoulders. "Because I will anyway. Even if it is for her."

There was definitely a time where her would have been spoken with so much more venom. Jaskier also probably wouldn't have been content with leaving it at that either and found some creative new way to insult her on top of it. And yet, it's not as though he's really holding back either. Yennefer still isn't his absolute favorite person in the world, but she is still a person as it turns out.

...And, okay, maybe there is a tenuous friendship there. Sorta something that happens when someone risks their life for you as it turns out, but the less said about that probably the better. Jaskier isn't sure that Geralt would be interested in hearing any praises about Yennefer even if he's willing to do something stupid for her sake.
softlybutwithfeeling: (nav)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-08 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
"I'm well aware." While he wouldn't admit it, the patter of Jaskier's words puts Geralt a little more at ease. Perhaps because it's so familiar. Not only that, but he he hasn't left or laid into Geralt verbally, which he'd half expected the bard would do. Geralt might have thick skin, but when Jaskier appeared, he hadn't looked forward to the anger he expected to follow.

The possibility of silence perhaps worse than words.

Instead while he can't call this comfortable, not exactly falling into old patterns, it's still...

It's something.

"Have you run into here yet?" he asks, then pauses and turns to look at Jaskier more direction. It might not be the best idea to turn his back on the hell steed, but this warrants a little more attention. "Just when did you get here?"
bardicdisaster: (105)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-09 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
"Well, it wouldn't be hell if I didn't run into my least favorite person in the world first, now would it?" Similar to before, while Jaskier is not exactly speaking affectionately, his words lack the bite they once used to carry when it comes to Yennefer. Instead of disdain, it's more casual acceptance that she exists. "But I have to say, she looked like shit."

Relative to her usual appearances, anyway. It's what ultimately tipped Jaskier off to the fact Yennefer was contending with a very big problem rather than the multitude of minor inconveniences she tends to bring along with her. She was putting her energies elsewhere, where it was more needed and more important because even someone like Yennefer couldn't carry something like that forever and not have it begin to show just a little.

In contrast to the easiness with which he answers the first question though, the second question gives Jaskier a moment of pause. While there's really only been a handful of times Geralt's truly ignored Jaskier, he's still not quite used to receiving less divided attention from Geralt and it stands out to him immediately when Geralt turns from his horse to look at Jaskier instead.

"Do you really think if I had been here sooner, you would have gotten yourself into this mess? Really, you should be the grateful one that I arrived when I did. A moment later and I am fairly certain you would be the one betrothed to a demon lord and then what?" Jaskier folds his arms and shakes his head as he continues, "Gods know how you manage without me to look after you. I mean, have you ever considered how many messes you get yourself into and what I have to go through to get you out of them? You haven't, have you? Have you?"

Beneath all the hyperbole and mock grief he's giving Geralt though, Jaskier is quietly telling Geralt that he doesn't need to worry about him. Not that he thinks it'll necessarily stop Geralt from it at least a little, but Jaskier is as fine as one can be expected to be after abruptly finding themselves in Hell and he intends to keep it that way for as long as he can.
softlybutwithfeeling: (pic#14934588)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-10 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
The ranting wins a gruff humph, not quite a bark that's what usually passes for laughter where Geralt is concerned. Calling it a chuckle might have been too generous, but there was some real humor in it. And there were memories—memories of saving Jaskier's ass on more occasions than one. He didn't have to say it, to bring up the angry, cuckolded husbands, genies, and the occasional actual beast.

Has he thought of how many messes Jaskier has gotten him out of?

What else does he have to say.

"The day I end up betrothed to anyone, we'll know the end of days is finally on us in truth," he comments sardonically. Even his marriage to Yennefer here had proven to be false after only a few months. Some people aren't made for family life. He might be the top of that list. Whether just above or just below Yennefer, still open to debate.

A rough sigh, a little softer.

"So I guess I should be grateful if you're here to prevent that."
bardicdisaster: (07)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-11 06:41 am (UTC)(link)
Most probably wouldn't, but Jaskier certainly feels pleased with that sorry excuse for laughter from Geralt. He always used to pride himself in managing to elicit any sort of reaction out of Geralt that wasn't plain irritation or silent resignation, and it would seem he still does at least a little. How many people can say they've managed to make Geralt of Rivia laugh? Well. No one really can as far as Jaskier knows, not even Jaskier himself who had to work quite hard for years to get anywhere. But just because Geralt isn't doubled over doesn't mean that that particular grunt isn't a bit of an achievement in its own right currently! Especially when Geralt clearly already has so much on his mind and plate. So, while it probably shouldn't, the sound comes with a bit of warmth to it for Jaskier.

But he cannot even begin to contain his smile at Geralt's mention of gratitude for Jaskier's presence. It could just be carrying on Jaskier's bit, but it doesn't really matter. Any acknowledgment of friendship is really enough to satisfy Jaskier these days if only because they need to start somewhere again. Much as there is a part of Jaskier that is still nursing the wounds from Geralt's words and hasn't completely let it go, it grows smaller by the day and Jaskier would like to keep it that way.

"It's about time you realized that, but I suppose better late than never. You're welcome, by the way. Now if only the witch could learn then we might really be getting somewhere..."
softlybutwithfeeling: (pic#14934602)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-12 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
That gets another sound of Geralt, more of a derisive snort. The day Yennefer learned to let someone else keep her out of trouble would come sometime after rabbits learned to speak and just before pigs flew. Geralt might be a man of few words, but a lot of meaning went into some of those grunts of his.

They go into the look he shoots his chosen horse, too. Concern. For Yennefer, for all that she make it hard to worry about her, he finds himself doing it anyway. Sure she'd find some way to make this worse for herself, or for the rest of them. Yennefer was like a fox with her foot in a snare, willing to gnaw it off to get free. Worse than that, because at least a fox didn't have the memory or the understanding to regret what she'd lost. Yennefer on the other hand had an amazing capacity for resentment.

She isn't the only one he has to worry about. Apparently that number just went up by one, whether or not he's quite ready to admit it.

"Good luck convincing her of that," Geralt says before turning his gaze back toward the bard. "I suppose if you'll be coming with us, we'll need to find you a horse too. See any you like?"
bardicdisaster: (106)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-13 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
"That is such a misuse of a word, Geralt, that I would almost consider it an abuse of it."

Although despite the fact he says this, Jaskier also knows he cannot exactly be picky with his choices here. It's not as though there's a single normal horse among any of them. The most he can hope for is that its grotesque features are on the less extreme end of things and that to whatever extent it is ill-tempered, that bribery works a little better than one of the more fickle steeds. He folds his arms loosely.

"I don't know, isn't this more your thing? You'd be a better judge than me."
softlybutwithfeeling: (pic#14934684)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-14 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
"That's not something I expected to hear you say," Geralt comments, though he doubts it's meant as a compliment. That doesn't stop him from responding as though it is.

It gives him something to do that doesn't involve addressing the fact Jaskier is here and is agreeing to go with him. With them, of all the people the bard has every reason not to want to venture out into the wilds outside of the walls with.

Geralt does prefer the idea to having him stay behind though.

"We'll want to be careful. There are a few of these I get the feeling will drown their riders given half a chance." Which shouldn't be a surprise, really. There are always stories of monster horses, even if most of them are exaggerated or misunderstood. "No need to get water logged before we get eaten."
bardicdisaster: (68)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-15 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
Jaskier goes to say something, getting as far as opening his mouth before he closes it again. He tips his head slightly to one side before shaking it.

"No, I can't think of a nice way of saying it," he concludes more to himself. "Geralt, I know you worked very hard on that joke, but how about we stick to what we're good at, yeah? You do the stabby bits and I'll provide the witty commentary."

But Geralt does have a fair point despite his not-at-all-comforting joke. These horses look about as ready to eat any rider as they are... Well, whatever it is a carnivorous horse in hell typically eats naturally. (Jaskier doesn't know and would like to continue his ignorance in bliss on that subject.) Their best bet is one that seems the calmest. Or at least has the least amount of homicide in its eyes.

Assuming it has eyes, anyway.

Jaskier sighs heavily.

"The one time I don't absolutely have to walk, and of course, it has to be with horses like this..."
softlybutwithfeeling: (pic#14934578)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-18 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
Geralt finds it funny. Or maybe not funny exactly. He doesn't laugh himself, and he's never going to responsible for any knee-slappers. But he does enjoy saying it. Perhaps it's wishful thinking or the emotional exhaustion of the past few months, but Jaskier's presence is comforting.

He shrugs none the less, quietly smug in his ribbing.

"We'll make sure the one we find you isn't hungry." It's easy to say. Maybe easy to do, too, as long as they keep the beast well fed. "And stupid enough not to pull anything smart. Luck might be on our side, none of them seem clever."

The last part, he directs at the mare he's feeding. The good thing about horses: they don't know what you're saying, and they don't especially care.

"Walking is out of the question."
bardicdisaster: (41)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-18 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
Jaskier follows the line of logic about making sure whatever horse Jaskier ends up with isn't particularly hungry to its natural conclusion, but to his credit, he doesn't pull a face at the thought of having to feed it. There are no guarantees he won't when the time comes to feed the thing, but at least for now, he keeps his composure.

"So, least hungry and the least ugly then..." The former more pragmatic while the latter is some fantastical dream that he might like the beast to some extent. Jaskier walks past Geralt down the aisle of stalls, peering into those that are still occupied from what he considers to be a safe distance. He only gets a few stalls down before he calls back to Geralt with a mild amount of optimism given that none of the horses don't pay Jaskier much mind, "I think the first bit's going to be easier."

Of course, Jaskier ends up speaking a little too easy. The next stall he comes across, the hell horse inside takes it upon himself to kick violently at the door when Jaskier starts to walk near it. Jaskier nearly jumps out of his skin, quickly turning back around and getting a few steps further away. Jaskier bends over for just a second to try and catch his breath after that mild heart attack before straightening back out. With one hand on his hip, he gestures with his other hand over his shoulder.

"Not that one."
softlybutwithfeeling: (grandfather frost)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-19 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"No," Geralt agrees. "That one doesn't seem to like you." The comment is dry, deceptively mild in the way Geralt's commentary often sounds. Somewhere between indifferent and impatient. The glance he gives the horse is less neutral. He marks the details—a weird greenish black animal with oozy, oily looking hide—and makes a mental note of it against the changes they find themselves on the trail together.

"Not sure how much luck you'll have finding one that's less ugly," he adds then. "Of it we do find one that meets your sensibilities, I'd be suspicious of it. Doubly so."

So far, he doesn't see many that make him think that will be a danger.

"What about the grey over there?" He nods toward a stall with a somewhat quieter animal in it. Its head is shoved into a feed trough, eating sloppily. It doesn't seem to be actively rotting or trying to murder anyone.
bardicdisaster: (43)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-20 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
He takes a slightly closer look at the horse Geralt points out as a possibility and at most, that appears to only inspire a lazy, brief swivel of an ear at the sound of approaching footsteps. Another mark in its favor is that while it's still a far cry from pleasing to look at, aside from its rather messy dinner table habits, there's not much that turns the stomach.

"Well, you're the equivalent of a fat nag, aren't you?" Jaskier asks the horse cheerfully. There's another swivel of an ear, but otherwise not much. Either Jaskier's presence isn't terribly offensive or the food ranks a little higher in priority. Jaskier can't say he cares which it is as the outcome of not becoming horse feed himself is the same. "See, Geralt? I knew you would have a better sense for this than me."

The horse lifts its head from its trough now that it's managed to reach the bottom finally. Jaskier clicks his tongue and shakes his head a little as he says, "Now how much of that did you end up wearing instead of eating? You know, it would be nice if just once I could travel with someone who wasn't constantly making a mess of themselves."

The grey remains nonplussed with this scolding and begins to set about vigorously licking its trough clean. Jaskier sighs, clearly put upon and maybe a touch nostalgic. He glances at Geralt.

"I suppose that just means we'll make the perfect pair then."
softlybutwithfeeling: (pic#14934680)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-22 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
"Perfect isn't the word I'd use for it," Geralt observes without much bite, watching the horse a moment longer. They'll have to try actually getting Jaskier on its back before they draw any conclusions, but it seems more likely than most of the others.

However Geralt might ask, he would rather Jaskier not be eaten. Not by his own horse, and not by whatever monsters they meet outside of the walls.

There's a part of him that finds this familiar. He wouldn't consider himself one to get nostalgic, but especially after the recent events, he might have to rethink that position.

"I think it will do the job, though," Geralt comments then. "You'll be better company than most of what I've had here."

That's as close as Geralt will come to admitting he's glad to see him.

Then, "At least it will mean having one person here who knows what a witcher is."
bardicdisaster: (97)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-23 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
Most would likely take that with a bit of offense or at least some uncertainty as it's almost but not quite a backhanded compliment. But Jaskier stands a little straighter and his smile is a touch brighter, visibly pleased. Jaskier knows that a near-backhanded compliment is a compliment from Geralt.

"Oh, c'mon now," Jaskier says as he meanders his way back to Geralt. "Don't start in with that again. Not that I don't appreciate it, but it does get to be a bit embarrassing when you go on and on about how much you missed me and how terribly dull life is without me and you have no idea how you managed to carry on this long.

"I'd offer you a hug to make you feel better, but you've been..." he gestures vaguely to the hell horse to indicate both feeding and touching the thing, browsing pinching slightly. Listen, he doesn't want to chance getting raw meat or remnants thereof on him. Call him fussy if you will, but it's not that unreasonable to him! "You know. Plus, you have your image to uphold. Could you imagine the scandal? Geralt of Rivia asking for a hug?"

Jaskier shakes his head as he pats Geralt on the back.

"I don't think a single one of my songs could undo that damage."
softlybutwithfeeling: (pic#14934607)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-24 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, that's... strange. At the same time it's aggressively familiar, the patter of conversation that he'd often found incessant is if not welcome after so much silence, still somehow comfortable. Like slipping into a well worn shoe. Even if it's not in perfect shape, even the places it's too tight and sporting holes is well known.

Still, he's not so comfortable that he fires back with a gibe like he would have once. Instead he stands straighter, crosses his arms, his jaw flexing and his eyes not quite rolling.

Maybe they roll a little.

"Since when did you limit yourself to just one song?"
bardicdisaster: (70)

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-25 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
Not even a rolling of eyes is enough to shake Jaskier's mood. It's too late. A compliment was paid and it's gone straight to his head! It will be hours at least before this nonsense stops. Which perhaps is for the best in some ways. An easy, familiar rhythm is far better than fumbling around in search of a different one.

"Never," Jaskier confirms with a shake of his head. "But when has it ever taken more than one of my songs to change minds? Hm?"
softlybutwithfeeling: (pic#14934579)

[personal profile] softlybutwithfeeling 2022-03-25 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
"I'm going to regret this, aren't I." It's not a question, and he doesn't clarify if he means giving Jaskier license to sing all of those ridiculous songs or if he means the compliment.

It's not an apology. Geralt isn't a man who apologizes often or easily. Apparently he can barely admit in words that he's glad to see a friend.

But he has his own way of showing his gratitude. If most people don't catch them, Jaskier clearly does—and maybe for the time being Geralt will go ahead and let it go to his head.
bardicdisaster: (111)

wrap? :>

[personal profile] bardicdisaster 2022-03-26 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
"Eh," Jaskier says with a shrug, a noise that even if Jaskier tried, it could not sound more like that's clearly a personal problem for Geralt "You can't take it back now either way."

Much in the way that Geralt is quite vague, Jaskier remains so as well. Whether Jaskier is referring to the compliment, the possibility of his catalog being unleashed here, or the fact that Geralt's best friend in the entire world at Geralt's invitation hardly matters.

There's absolutely no taking any of it back.