TEST DRIVE MEME #40

[penancemods]

Arrival

"Judgement has come upon you. God has deemed you worthy of Hell. But don't worry, it can still be undone," comes a soothing voice that echoes all around you. The voice promises comfort, hope even.

It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.

It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.

And so you do.

Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, And it seems to linger for a long time. There is nothing at all. It must be lonely. But it won’t be forever.

Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.

Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.

The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"

Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please take your care package and continue on until you reach the stairs."

On their way out, sinners receive their 'package', a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written with their blood. That explains the palm wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. They will also receive a slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android and a pamphlet made by other sinners during their stay here with useful tips.

After that, sinners will be ushered on to a set of stairs where a guard waits. "Welcome to Penance," the demon says gruffly before motioning them on without an ounce of courtesy. "Don't hold up the line."

They seem to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon what appears to be a cruise ship.

The demon stationed outsid the entrance looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend ways to spend their time while they reach new lands. Sorry about the confusion, Hell is just undergoing some rather unhappy changes.


Stand Your Ground

The Penance Community is gone. Lilith made the tough call to abandon the community and urged sinners to save both Lucifer and Barbas along the way. Everyone who arrives will appear on the ship itself after stepping through the door, regardless of where it is in the waters. There may be a bit of disorientation at first, having to travel what may be a fair distance and the residual magic of Lilith’s touch, but it will fade quickly. Don’t worry, sinners!

They are safe on the waters. The icy, icy waters that appear as if they shouldn't be navigable at all. That's possibly a bit concerning, isn't it? There's also snow falling from the skies and frozen spirits that desperately scratch at the sides of the ship to climb aboard. They're used to the boiling waters of blood, not ice. Listen carefully, you can hear their whispers of confusion and desperation. "Why is it so cold?" they ask. "We hurt!" they howl. The staff busying themselves around the ship insist it's best to not concern oneself with it too much. It's like a vacation for them, really. Best worry about yourself.

Blankets are available on request, as well as warm clothes. Not all of these items will be... modern, maybe, but they will at least keep you warm. Hot chocolate, teas, and coffees are also being handed out freely by staff in an attempt to combat the freezing temperatures.

Lucifer may be spotted around the ship, looking rather wary but up and about again at least. He's quick to reassure everyone that Mammon will be giving them aid again and that they're heading to some absolutely beautiful lands. Perhaps sinners who are familiar with them will give them a recount of what it was truly like from the last visit.


The Voyage

The large luxury ship is painted a rather ominous black, giving it an intimidating feel on the outside. Once boarded, sinners will see that this initial feeling is likely unfounded. There are plenty of luxuries anyone could want, including a pool, a hot tub, and plenty of tropical drinks with tiny umbrellas provided free of charge. And that's just the deck! Bedrooms range from four person units, three person units, to couples' beds for those who wish to continue their matrimony (or who would rather avoid the hassle of potentially being paired with someone entirely new for the time being).

Not only that, but there's plenty of festive decorations saved from the hotel! Ranging from Jack O'Lanterns to spooky fake skeletons to inflatable witches, and anything in between. Just because tragedy has struck doesn't mean that the holiday spirit has disappeared! People need something to keep them distracted now, more than ever. The staff is happy to (try to) provide this.

There's also a grand bar that provides plenty of cider, mead, and ale, whiskeys from Mammon's own personal stock. These drinks range in strength and may land even the most resilient on the ground after a few sips if one isn't careful! Additionally, the drinks seem to inspire a feel good mood and chase away the dourness that seems to have settled over those in the Penance community. There's constant music playing that may inspire those around to dance, as well as rather hungry incubi and succubi wandering around. They seem eager to please in any and all ways and, like in Penance, give off a natural aphrodisiac that smells sweet to the senses.

There's also a theatre for those who may prefer to watch some festive movies (Enjoy this! There won't be any such things once sinners arrive in Mammon's domain!), an arcade for the younger crowd, and a lovely spa with saunas, massages, and any other way to treat oneself. Happy endings may be included.

The kitchens are always open and offer an array of decadent desserts, meats, vegetables, and anything else one could want. No request is too much! And don't worry, nothing is drugged or of questionable quality or origin (that one would recognize).


Reach Up High

There are two methods for earning a sin removal this time around, and none of them are painful! Very painful, at the very least.

The first option is to find a way to warm the spirits who enter the ship, whether this means cuddling the spirits and sacrificing your own warmth, or finding alternative means by wrapping them in blankets or offering them warm drinks while they have the energy to make themselves solid enough to hold items. Showing kindness to those damned to eternal suffering will certainly earn some points with God.

The second option involves volunteering to watch Barbas from his cage in the lower decks of the Hell ship. Bonus points for maintaining patience and kindness even with one of Hell’s least favorite Lords.


Follow Me Down

Prompt I

Lucifer is asking all sinners and demons alike to give something valuable (whether it's valuable in an actual monetary sense or just to the owner) to present to Mammon as a gift. They need to sway his favor back towards them, Lucifer insists, and gifts are the way to go. Mammon functions on greed and a love of all things unique. Items can be listed here. Those who are generous may receive special favor once they reach Mammon's lands, either in the form of special dinners, pampering, or more comfortable rooms, etc.

The second request is to kidnap the spirits climbing aboard and seeking warmth. While these guys just want to cuddle a bit or curl up next to the fires to try to chase the cold that somehow penetrates even their undead, incorporeal forms, they’re also a precious source of energy that Mammon will appreciate. While sinners are allowed to show kindness towards the spirits (much to the dismay of the staff), they will also be given bottles to capture them, also as gifts to bestow upon Mammon.

Please note that doing either of these will result in the sin of bribery and potentially betrayal being added to your list of sins.


Prompt II

WARNINGS: dubcon, aphrodisiacs, body transformations, drug use, alcohol

That isn't the end of the festivities either! Not at all. The demonic staff has orchestrated a bit of fun to distract from the cold and sense of impending doom hanging in the air by way of trick or treating. Sinners will be grabbed up by eager demons and led cabin to cabin to trick or treat. Those answering the door may choose either option! Treats may be in the form of candy, booze, or other trinkets or whatever one may consider a 'treat', and if a trick is chosen? Well, if you've just set yourself up for a little bit of a prank, haven't you? Good luck trying to figure out ways to appease the eager demons wanting a show! They just want to know they're appreciated, you know. Things have been rough.

For those who aren't terribly interested in any such thing, the staff has also decided on the perfect way to deal with any residual ghost trauma... which is telling ghost stories, of course. On the deck, there's been a special place set up with a fire pit (don't worry, it's being carefully watched! Last thing they need is a fire on the ship...) and blankets. There's also an array of food and drink while the goblins formerly of the library urge sinners to gather around for some story time. Sinners may listen to the goblins or share their own encounters with the spirits.

While they hardly managed to save much in the way of costumes, there's even an impromptu costume competition going on for those who may wish to try to piece together something from what odds and ends did make it to the ship. Voting will be done via sinners and rewards will be in the form of candies. Actual candy, don't worry! The barista from Helluvacup will also be out and about with Bean to spread cheer in the form of Halloween themed pastries and coffees with little spiders drawn in the foam (that may or may not look like spiders. Don't criticize him! Bean will protect his master with lovely disease-ridden bites.)

Of course, for all the well-intentioned shenanigans of the staff, the succubi and incubi are adding their own twist to things. Some have decided to taint the chocolates to add additional energy in the air. Once again, the sex demons feel as if they're famished with the lack of energy and they're doing their best to makeup for it... whether the sinners are aware of it or not. These chocolates the devilish incubi and succubi pass out will have a multitude of effects:

Milk Chocolate - inspires lust so strong, one cannot control it. It may lead to begging or public displays of self-pleasure.
Dark Chocolate - inspires the urge to dominate and aggression. It's time to take control and take what you want.
Chocolate covered cherries - inspire the urge to be submissive and the urge to please those around, in multiples if possible.
Chocolates filled with liqueurs - Inspires loose lips. Suddenly, the most appalling filth will be falling from your lips, every filthy desire there that you've kept hidden is now out in the open. How will others react?
Mint chocolate - May inspire transformations. Whether this is of the animalistic variety or sex, it is entirely up in the air. All of these effects can absolutely be mixed. Take as many chocolates as you like!

At least the succubi and incubi are being cordial enough to lead sinners off to a private area of the ship they've filled with plush cushions and bedding for the fun... mostly.

In addition, the sex demons will urge sinners in keeping each other warm in any sense of the word. What better ways than sharing some body heat? Or maybe adding a bit of candleplay to the mix...

If none of that tickles your fancy, there are also a wealth of drugs available to partake in, as well as a fight night happening below deck on one of the lower levels. Fights are carried out among sinners and demons alike, with plenty of help standing by to patch those injured up. Those partaking in either watching or actively participating may swap sins as bets, or anything else they may be willing to risk losing.


Wildcard/Misc.

Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.



And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the November 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.

If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.


Navigation | Premise | Arrival | FAQ
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes

Comments

[salamanca]

[ What can he say? Everyone has their gifts. You catch more flies with honey. In this case, a honeyed voice that spills just as much malice as it does lightheartedness.

He sees the look in Saul's eyes. He knows Saul sees the gun. And they both know running or screaming or trying to call anyone wouldn't end well for Saul. Lalo is able to overpower people who can actually run and actually fight, neither of which is true of the world's second best laywer. Hell, with that pot belly and that sedentary job, Lalo would have Saul snapped clean in two the second Saul tried anything funny.

And Lalo knows it, looking pleased, like a cat that got the cream. To be fair, though he usually looks like that, when he isn't simmering with barely repressed sadism or rage. ]

Yeah, yeah, that's too right. [ He laughs like it's their own private joke. But again, it's not a nice laugh. Not for Saul, anyway. Maybe for Lalo it is a little bit. But it's not nice for a nice reason...] They say it runs in families, too. Intolerance to high sodium. [ Intentionally theatrical shake of his head. ] Tragic. Just tragic. Really, truly. I'm sorry to hear about it.

[ Does he believe Saul? Does he not? At the moment, it doesn't really matter. They can have a more involved discussion about everything Lalo wants to know -- and nothing Saul wants to know, assuming there is anything -- in a little bit, in a more private location.

Lalo keeps smiling that smile, eyes no longer dead, instead lit up by delight by Saul's obvious fear, even if he tries to keep it concealed. What a trooper.

Unlike most of the residents here, Lalo doesn't need to be forced or, let's be real, even told to torture anybody. Not if it suits his interests. And whether he'll have use for Saul here long-term remains to be seen, but for now, he can't see a downside to having someone he knows under his thumb.

He loosens his grip on Saul's shoulder and pats it a few times, still like he's consoling an old friend. But it's not intended to be a consoling gesture. It's intended to be a coercive one, made all the more violating by the fact that it's all happening in public and Saul can do absolutely nothing about it. ]

[ Lalo then looks both ways down the hallway, like he's thinking. He's finally taken his hands off Saul for the time being. Then he points first one way down the hall, then the other, like he's trying to decide where to go. ]

Which way's your cabin? Walk that way. After all... [ His eyes glitter again. ] Then we can talk more privately there. It'll be nice to catch up. What do you say? [ He knows where Saul lives in New Mexico, after all. So obviously, he should also know where Saul lives here. It makes perfect sense. Lalo logic! ] And no stalling. I know you. I know how you like to operate. [ Wink.]

Oh, yeah. You know, your wife -- [ He wolf whistles and and shakes his head approvingly. ] Damn! I know I've said it before, but you really lucked out with that one. Smart and beautiful. Still doesn't make sense to me, but hey, congrats.

[justmakemoney]

[Never in his life or afterlife did Saul imagine he would be thinking he would rather have Tuco Salamanca around, if he could pick. And yet here he is, thinking just that. Out of all the dead Salamancas he knew of, the most dangerous one that couldn't be talked around is, of course, the one who showed up. Even worse that there's no Mike able to rush in as backup this time.

Saul knows he needs to calm down and think, and that doing anything that Lalo might hang on or notice will cause worse trouble down the line. But knowing that and actually doing it while Lalo is right there, gun on his person, patting his shoulder is easier said than done. It's taking all the focus he has to not panic... any more than he already is internally.]

My cabin? [He repeats it, even though he knew he heard Lalo correctly. Because the last place he wants to lead Lalo is to his cabin.]

This place isn't exactly a luxury cruise, sorry to say. Got stuck in a room with a few other people.

[Well, he's not alone in his room, that much is true, but he's hoping the possibility that the idea of intruders might turn Lalo off of the idea. Especially with him not being able to tell when Lalo is from with a statement that vague]

You were looking for your cabin, weren't you? Why don't we go there.

[salamanca]

That's okay! They won't mind. [ Saul's heard that tone before. "I want you to get me out on bail. :D" Exact same energy now. "That's okay! They won't mind. :D" ] Besides, the more the merrier. I'd love to meet some of the other people unfortunate enough to find themselves in such a depressing position.

[ Didn't he just say they were going there so they could talk privately? Sure. But who cares. He's got his mind set on going to Saul's cabin now so that's where they're going to go. No ifs, ands, or buts. ]

I can find my cabin later! I'm sure the demons will help guide me if I need them to. [ Waves a hand carelessly, like he's brushing the idea aside. ] Remember: no stalling. Now, which way?

[ Lalo isn't actively trying to be vague. He doesn't know he's been to Saul's house more than once. But to him, Saul's house on Earth is not important anymore anyway. Saul's cabin on the ship is important now. ]

[justmakemoney]

[No stalling, he says, as if Saul's mind isn't blanking and he's not out of options for stalling at this point anyway. His only real thought is to keep Lalo away from Kim, but if Lalo is this fixed on finding his cabin, he doesn't know how to keep that from happening aside from hoping to God or Lucifer or anyone who might help that Kim wasn't home and wouldn't be for a while.

He's helpless, he knows it, and he hates it.

So, against his own desires, he starts walking in the direction of his cabin, on the opposite side of the ship. He's moving, which is what Lalo wants, but Lalo didn't say anything about talking on the way there. It's unlikely and he knows it, but he can always hope that maybe something else will come up in conversation and distract Lalo from his current goals.]

So you... just arrived then, huh? You really missed out. We were in some giant old hotel when I got here. Wasn't this cold, either, not at first.

[salamanca]

Yeah. Just got here.

[ He says that as cheerfully as if he's pulling into his buddy's tailgate party on Saturday. Exuberant and lackadaisical at the same time and entirely too chilled out about all this 'Hell' stuff. ]

[ He cocks his head slightly when Saul says they were in a hotel before. ] Is that so? [ He doesn't sound disinterested, exactly, but you can tell his mind isn't fully on the conversation. He's focused on something he's not talking about. ] I don't mind the cold. Nice change from Albuquerque in the summer, eh?

[ One thing Lalo likes about Saul is conversational repertoire. Lalo likes talking to people too -- not always for good reasons, mind you, although Lalo wouldn't know the concept of 'doing things for good reasons' if it bit him. ] They said we're going somewhere else, right? This is all temporary. This other place -- you been there before?

[ Lalo's happy to make conversation the whole way there, but shit chance of that distracting him from anything. He follows Saul with a spring in his step, and they reach Saul's cabin a lot quicker than... well, than one of them would've probably wanted.

And since Saul was so kind as to invite him over, Lalo opens the door and slips right inside, after glancing briefly at Saul to confirm that it is, indeed, the right place.

As far as Kim is concerned, Saul's one card to play is that Lalo genuinely wouldn't expect her to be in Hell, from what he knows about her. So it actually doesn't enter his mind that she might be on the other side of that door.

Not that he wouldn't be absolutely delighted by Mrs. Goodman's lovely company if he did set eyes on her.

If the light inside is off, he flicks it on. And if it's already on, well... then likely there's a second person inside waiting for them. ]

[isaveme]

[The lights are on, and Kim is sitting in bed reading the cabin's copy of The Divine Comedy. She hears the door open and smiles, not looking up right away.]

Hey. Find anything interesting out there?

[She looks up then, and her eyes widen and her face goes pale as she sees Lalo. She scrambles to her feet, her mind whirring as she tries to think of what to do, how to defend herself, how to defend Jimmy, of fucking course Lalo would show up here. If anyone deserves to be in hell, it's him.

Her eyes flick over to Jimmy, but immediately return to Lalo.]

This is a private cabin.

[Her voice is tight and cold.]

lalo -> kim -> saul? That work?

[justmakemoney]

[Unlike Lalo, Saul isn't exactly happy to be making that kind of small talk, it's still his last ditch effort to come up with something that might distract him. And of course, they reach his room far sooner than he would've liked. And of course, his hopes that Kim had left to get food or some fresh frozen air or anything that might have had her leave the room were in vain.

He swallows nervously, fixing his attention solely on Kim, not looking around the room lest that be somehow misinterpreted and make a bad situation worse.]

He said he was just at our place. Isn't that wild?

[Even sharing any information could be risky, even when it's disguised as some casual attempt at conversation about a client, he knows that, but he needs to try and make sure Kim is at least on the same level he is.]

works for me!

[salamanca]

[ Oh ho ho ho. What have they here?

Never in his wildest dreams did Lalo expect to see her on the other side of that door, but when he does, he lights up like a kid on Christmas morning.

This is a delightful surprise. But also concerning. His previously idle passing thought that Kim and Jimmy maybe-but-probably-not had something to do with why he's here returns, and he entertains it with just a little more seriousness this time. Especially because, as far as he can tell, the only people from their corner of the multiverse who are here are himself, Varga, and Mr. and Mrs. Goodman.

Not conclusive. But interesting. Very... interesting... ]

Your husband was kind enough to invite me in. I just so happened to run into him in the hallway, and we were having a lovely chat. Always good to see a familiar face when you're new somewhere, right? Later he's gonna show me around.

[ Is he? Apparently now he is. ]

But I owe you an apology for startling you, Mrs. Goodman. Saul here [ jerks a thumb over his shoulder at Jimmy, but doesn't actually turn to face him ] didn't say you'd be here. In fact, he told me there were four other people. But unless I forgot how to count -- [ He laughs with a mix of genuine amusement and mild aggression, and makes an exaggerated show of looking around the room, before fixing his eyes back on Kim. ] -- it's just the two of you.

[ He all but strolls over to the bed to stand in front of her, pressing his height advantage, towering over her. He lifts one corner of his shirt so she can see the gun barely peeking out from his waistband. Then he tucks the shirt in behind it, to let it show. For both of them. Now that they're not in the hallway, there's no reason to try to hide it. Better if they can see it, in fact.

It is a testament to his respect for Kim that he stops short of actually trying to touch her. Even Lalo Salamanca knows he'd probably pull back a bloody stump if he so much as snaked a hand out in her direction.

But his eyes are dark and unsmiling even though he keeps his mouth quirked upward at the corners. ]

"Wild." Yeah. You could say that. [ He studies Kim, trying to get a read on her. Saul is easily bullied, easily bent to whatever whim Lalo might have in mind for him, but Kim requires more thoughtfulness. ]

Now you tell me, Mrs. Goodman -- what in the world could you have done to wind up here? Hmmm?

Yup!

[isaveme]

[He just left their place? Kim wants to ask the same question Jimmy has - which time? - but she knows giving any information to Lalo is a very bad idea. She stands her ground as he comes up to her, utterly uncowed by his height. He pulls up his shirt, revealing a gun in his waistband, and Kim glances down at it, raising her eyebrows...

And then barely even registers his last question as she busts out laughing.]

Oh my god. Is that supposed to scare me? We are in literal. HELL. I mean, have you seen the demons? Do you have any idea what we've already been through? You will. You definitely will. You might have been a big scary man up there, but down here? You're just another sinner.

[justmakemoney]

[As Lalo points out how, contrary to what Saul told him earlier, it's just him and Kim in this room, Saul can't help but let out a forced laugh that he hopes sounds some level of embarrassed underneath all the stress.]

You know, math was never--

[But his half assed attempts at covering up his half assed responses earlier die in his mouth when Kim replies, dressing down Lalo entirely and not taking him seriously at all. If his eyes could actually pop out of his head, at this point, they definitely would. Sure, he can concede she's not exactly wrong, but in Saul's view, Lalo is just as dangerous as the demons they've dealt with down here. And even more unpredictable.

It's more than enough to get him moving from where he was all but frozen in place, prompting him to make his way carefully toward the bed, to keep a clear view of both Kim and Lalo. Not that he can do anything if it comes to it, but he doesn't have the luxury of sitting and thinking while Lalo is right here in the room with them.]

[salamanca]

[ Oh, Kimberly. This is why you get respected and Saul gets walked on. After all, Saul isn't the only one who knows Kim isn't wrong. Lalo surveys her, quietly at first. Seething. For a moment, he doesn't even smile. Hard to say if that's better or worse than when he does.

Unfortunately for both of them, regardless of whether she's right or not, currently Lalo really has no incentive to leave here this time. In fact, the last thing he remembers was her lecturing him about the Cayman Islands, and him turning and leaving abruptly.

And now he's here. He had been quite amused by the entire thing, but his patience is slowly wearing thin. Especially if, as Kim so adeptly pointed out, he is "just another sinner." Now, in addition to wanting more answers about just what exactly they remember right before arriving here, he suddenly feels compelled to throw his weight around a little. To remind her why she needs to take him seriously. Hell or not. Demons or not.

He can feel and hear Saul slowly creeping towards them both but he keeps directing his conversation to Kim. For now, anyway.

He taps the gun she had so derisively laughed off with one finger. ] What? This little thing? I would never insult your intelligence. Of course it's not supposed to scare you.

[ There's a loose shrug and then, the easy smile is back. It's not one of his full-on trademark grins but it's creepy slowly back onto his face. His eyes glitter darkly. ]

This is.

[ He waits until Saul is in grabbing distance and then grabs him roughly around the shoulders with one hand, yanking him directly in front of Lalo. The other hand reaches for the gun, and there's a click as he cocks it. Then it's being pointed directly at Saul's head. He doesn't fire it, but Saul can feel the barrel brushing up against the side of his temple.

And yeah, sure, Lalo has heard talk that people here come back from death blah blah blah. But unless he has severely misjudged Kim and Saul and their feelings for each other, he doesn't think either of them is going to say 'yeah, sure, you can shoot my spouse in the head, that's fine'. And as much he's impressed by Kim's refusal to be intimidated, well... he still can't let her derail this conversation, after all. ]

[isaveme]

[The laughter and the dressing down had almost been a reflex, Kim's contrarian surfacing when someone is trying to control her, make her feel small. She'd bowed to powerful men long enough.

But the instant Lalo grabs Jimmy that all changes, especially when that gun is held to his head, and Kim sees with gut wrenching clarity Howard being shot in the head and falling, dead before he hit the ground.]

NO!

[She reaches out, palms facing him, as if to tell him...ask him...hell, beg him...to stop. Her voice trembles.]

Don't. You don't have to do that.

[justmakemoney]

[Saul cries out in surprise and fear as Lalo yanks him close. He swallows, breathing heavily, that noticeable shake back in his hands as he feels the gun placed against his head and hears the click as Lalo cocks it. It hardly matters that this isn't the first time that he's had a gun pointed at him, just like it hardly matters that they don't stay dead here. The last thing he wants is to have his head blown open right in front of Kim.

That's the only positive of this: it's not Kim with the gun to her head. And maybe, if it came to it, he can at least find a way to get her out of here. That's the only real thought left in his mind, besides panicking.]

H-hey! Why don't we... why don't we all calm down, huh?

[He doesn't dare try moving from his current spot, too afraid of what might happen if he even tried it.]

Let's just have a nice chat. Or--or I can take you on that ship tour, huh?

[salamanca]

[ Aww, Saul, you don't really think he'd hurt you, do you?

...Don't answer that.

But their bodies are pressed close enough together that Saul can feel the slight relaxation of Lalo's muscles against his back. The gun goes away, slipped back into the waistband of his pants, for now. Of course there are a million good reasons not to walk around with a fully cocked, presumably loaded gun pointed directly at your dick, but that's why remotely sane people don't do it.

Maybe it's Kim's palms tipped up in submission, signaling she no longer threatens to take control over the conversation away from him. Or maybe it's just that Saul almost always seems to know the right 'cheat code' words to de-escalate violent cartel bosses, somehow. But whatever the reason, Lalo returns to being all smiles again. He releases Saul with a pat on the shoulder, gentler than the ones in the hallway from before. ] Easy there. You're okay.

See? Exactly. Nice chat. That's all I want. [ He nods agreeably to Saul's suggestion, as if he's been the reasonable one this entire time and not the crazy cabin-invading lunatic. ]

Why don't we all sit down and make ourselves comfortable, hm? I just have a couple of questions. Then I'll be on my way.

[ Gestures towards the bed, and waits for them both to sit. ]

[isaveme]

[Kim exhales a shaky breath when Lalo lets Jimmy go. She's shaking and she's trying not to and it's not working. She sinks down on the bed, her eyes on Lalo, her hands clasped tightly in her lap, her knuckles ghost-white. A couple of questions, he says. Although Kim knows way too well that the most placid, mundane suggestions Lalo makes has a squirming underbelly of violence just waiting to break free.]

[justmakemoney]

[He doesn't need to be told twice to sit, so he turns around, taking his spot next to Kim. Saul's gaze is fixed solely on Lalo, but that doesn't stop him from reaching out and placing his hand on top of Kim's. It would almost be cute, if they weren't fearing for their lives.

He's more than aware that even though the gun is away from his head, that hardly means the both of them are out of danger. It's still in Lalo's possession, and that means it's really only saving them a few seconds if he did decide to shoot. But they're alive (or, whatever alive in Hell really is) so far, so Saul tries to force himself to think positive thoughts. Or if not positive, at least that Lalo can't (or probably won't) kill them until he gets the information he wants from them.

But, now that the gun isn't directly pointed at him, Saul's immediate impulse in a dangerous situation like this is to try talking. Whether or not it's what Lalo wants to know.]

So, like I was saying before. When I got here, we were all in some old hotel. Turns out, the whole place was barely habitable. So this ship and wherever we're heading now, it's brand new for us too. No idea what to expect; I'm afraid I, uh... never paid much attention in Sunday School when they were giving those fire and brimstone warnings.

[salamanca]

[ Lalo fixes his gaze first on Kim, trying to hold her gaze if she's willing to meet his. If she does, she'll notice him quirk his eyebrows up and down at her. Maybe suggestively, maybe jokingly, maybe for some kind of emphasis. Hard to say.

When Saul starts speaking, though, Lalo immediately flicks his head in Saul's direction. His eyes, too, move from Kim and attempt to lock with Saul's, if Saul is willing to--

¡Ay Dios Mio! NOPE. Never mind. Lalo rubs his face with his hands in an almost cartoonish gesture of frustration. there's that mouth, going off again. Sunday school. Old hotel. What. There has to be useful information in there somewhere, but who could ever decipher which part? Lalo briefly contemplates shooting himself in the face to get away from Saul's constant onslaught of words. Instead, he pulls his hands away from his face and lifts them both up in a mock gesture of pretend defeat.

At least he doesn't seem angry anymore, just... overwhelmed, maybe. But amused, too. ]

Okay, okay. Thank you, Saul. But let's do this one thing at a time. First things first, do you have any chairs I can sit in? Let's start with that. Getting kinda tired of standing. You know.

[ Usually he'd just flop down into whatever was available, but hey. He did just hold a gun to one of their heads. Can't hurt to be a little polite. And, more importantly, it will hopefully get them both into a flow of question-and-answer that will more easily allow him to monopolize the conversation. ]

[isaveme]

[When Jimmy puts his hand on hers, Kim lets go of her other hand, turns her hand over, and takes Jimmy's, holding on tight.

She meets Lalo's eyes, and lifts her chin at that quirk of his eyebrows, stubbornness and pride, even when she's still trembling with the fear of him doing to Jimmy what he did to Howard. (Or might have done to Howard...it's still not clear exactly what point in time Lalo is coming from.) When he asks if there are any chairs she nods silently over toward the desk and chair in the corner. If he's looking for friendliness or politeness, he's not going to get it from her.]

[justmakemoney]

[Miraculously, when Lalo speaks, Saul (at least temporarily) shuts up. His impulse is to talk, sure, but when self preservation is his main priority, he can take a hint. He's pretty sure that information about Hell isn't exactly Lalo's goal here, so for now, he decides to wait and let Lalo ask his questions. He doesn't want that gun back out if he can help it.]

Go ahead, sit down.

[Kim might not want to be polite, but Saul--well he's not happy to oblige, but he's willing to do it as a trade off.]

[salamanca]

[ Information about Hell would be nice, sure, but he can get that from anyone. Or from Saul later when they go on their 'tour'. Right now, he has more pressing questions, ones that can only be answered by the two of them.

Lalo grabs the chair Kim indicated and flips it around, so the back is facing them. He takes the gun out of his waistband and just holds it loosely in one hand, then sits with his legs straddling either side and his arms resting comfortably on the chair back. One holding the gun, one empty.

Kim's iciness is disappointing, but it's also exactly what he would expect from her. Saul gets an appreciative smile for his courtesy. ]

Thank you. [ Nods to Saul. ] See? Now is this so hard?

[ And then he fixes his attention back to Kim for the time being. ] Let's start with the first thing I asked. Mrs. Goodman, what brought you here? Because, let's be honest, your husband and I, well, that just makes sense [ gestures with the, uh, non-gun holding hand to himself and Saul ] but you -- [ He grins and laughs incredulously. ]

Man. What the hell did you do to get yourself in this mess?

[isaveme]

I'm a lawyer.

[Her voice is still unsteady, betraying the nerves she's trying to hide.]

Occupational hazard.

[It's not exactly untrue. Kim being a lawyer had been instrumental in the bigger things that brought her here...particularly the ruination of Howard Hamlin. It's why she had given up her license. She had used her powers for evil.]

Why do you ask?

[justmakemoney]

[Hearing Kim speak and how shaken she is (not that he needed to hear it to know, but it's a stab in the heart to hear), he squeezes her hand gently, as some kind of reassurance that he's here with her. Whether it's for her, for him, or the both of them, he's not really sure, though.]

There's a reason everyone makes lawyer jokes.

[...Well, so much for shutting up. The urge to talk more to distract from his nervousness, and to distract from Kim, bubbles back up out of his control.]

Doing PD work, you get stuck defending the weird ones. I had to defend some kids who broke into a funeral home once. You don't even want to know what they did to the person's head.

[salamanca]

[ Of course, he notices the hand squeeze. How cute.

He surveys Kim coolly, looking her up and down. ]

Re-al-ly? Is that right? You're here just because you're a lawyer?

[ He sounds skeptical of her claim. When Saul starts to talk, he turns back to him. Listening to him talk. And then he laughs. ]

Shit, man. You say it like that, now I kinda do. But. Not yet. After.

[ Turns back to Kim. And clarifies his "After."] After you show it to me.

[ He means her list of sins. The one they all got when they arrived here. Somehow, he doubts she threw it out. But if she genuinely doesn't understand, or just wants to pretend she doesn't, well, he'll be happy to explain without pointing the gun at them again. ]

[isaveme]

[Any show of affection is potentially dangerous, but Kim knows that particular ship has sailed. It left the dock when she made the extremely foolish decision to go to Lalo when Jimmy didn't come back from his trip out to pick up bail money. That's how the cartel boss knew threatening Jimmy would have a much bigger effect on Kim than threatening her directly.

So she returns that squeeze, a little harder, silently conveying her fear.

Lalo asks to see "it," and Kim frowns in genuine confusion and shakes her head a little.]

It?

[justmakemoney]

[Saul is almost as confused as Kim. He can make a good guess what he wants to see, and why he might want to see it to verify what she's saying, but he doubts her sin list would really reveal anything specific. If there's a deeper reason for it, still half-blinded by stress and panic, Saul's not able to guess what it might be even as he wracks his brain for any possibility.]

What we did to get sent down here for eternal damnation is kind of beside the point, now, isn't it? I've met some people here, they've got things like "cheated on a test in 5th grade" on their list.

[He shakes his head, hoping to come off like he thinks it's ridiculous despite the stress he's under.]

We're all stuck in the same boat now, so to speak. Heh.

[The horrible pun is very much intended.]