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penancememes2022-10-23 04:27 pm
penancemods) wrote in penancememes2022-10-23 04:27 pm
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TEST DRIVE MEME #40
Arrival
"Judgement has come upon you. God has deemed you worthy of Hell. But don't worry, it can still be undone," comes a soothing voice that echoes all around you. The voice promises comfort, hope even.
It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.
It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.
And so you do.
Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, And it seems to linger for a long time. There is nothing at all. It must be lonely. But it won’t be forever.
Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.
Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.
The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"
Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please take your care package and continue on until you reach the stairs."
On their way out, sinners receive their 'package', a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written with their blood. That explains the palm wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. They will also receive a slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android and a pamphlet made by other sinners during their stay here with useful tips.
After that, sinners will be ushered on to a set of stairs where a guard waits. "Welcome to Penance," the demon says gruffly before motioning them on without an ounce of courtesy. "Don't hold up the line."
They seem to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon what appears to be a cruise ship.
The demon stationed outsid the entrance looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend ways to spend their time while they reach new lands. Sorry about the confusion, Hell is just undergoing some rather unhappy changes.
Stand Your Ground The Penance Community is gone. Lilith made the tough call to abandon the community and urged sinners to save both Lucifer and Barbas along the way. Everyone who arrives will appear on the ship itself after stepping through the door, regardless of where it is in the waters. There may be a bit of disorientation at first, having to travel what may be a fair distance and the residual magic of Lilith’s touch, but it will fade quickly. Don’t worry, sinners!
They are safe on the waters. The icy, icy waters that appear as if they shouldn't be navigable at all. That's possibly a bit concerning, isn't it? There's also snow falling from the skies and frozen spirits that desperately scratch at the sides of the ship to climb aboard. They're used to the boiling waters of blood, not ice. Listen carefully, you can hear their whispers of confusion and desperation. "Why is it so cold?" they ask. "We hurt!" they howl. The staff busying themselves around the ship insist it's best to not concern oneself with it too much. It's like a vacation for them, really. Best worry about yourself.
Blankets are available on request, as well as warm clothes. Not all of these items will be... modern, maybe, but they will at least keep you warm. Hot chocolate, teas, and coffees are also being handed out freely by staff in an attempt to combat the freezing temperatures.
Lucifer may be spotted around the ship, looking rather wary but up and about again at least. He's quick to reassure everyone that Mammon will be giving them aid again and that they're heading to some absolutely beautiful lands. Perhaps sinners who are familiar with them will give them a recount of what it was truly like from the last visit.
The Voyage The large luxury ship is painted a rather ominous black, giving it an intimidating feel on the outside. Once boarded, sinners will see that this initial feeling is likely unfounded. There are plenty of luxuries anyone could want, including a pool, a hot tub, and plenty of tropical drinks with tiny umbrellas provided free of charge. And that's just the deck! Bedrooms range from four person units, three person units, to couples' beds for those who wish to continue their matrimony (or who would rather avoid the hassle of potentially being paired with someone entirely new for the time being).
Not only that, but there's plenty of festive decorations saved from the hotel! Ranging from Jack O'Lanterns to spooky fake skeletons to inflatable witches, and anything in between. Just because tragedy has struck doesn't mean that the holiday spirit has disappeared! People need something to keep them distracted now, more than ever. The staff is happy to (try to) provide this.
There's also a grand bar that provides plenty of cider, mead, and ale, whiskeys from Mammon's own personal stock. These drinks range in strength and may land even the most resilient on the ground after a few sips if one isn't careful! Additionally, the drinks seem to inspire a feel good mood and chase away the dourness that seems to have settled over those in the Penance community. There's constant music playing that may inspire those around to dance, as well as rather hungry incubi and succubi wandering around. They seem eager to please in any and all ways and, like in Penance, give off a natural aphrodisiac that smells sweet to the senses.
There's also a theatre for those who may prefer to watch some festive movies (Enjoy this! There won't be any such things once sinners arrive in Mammon's domain!), an arcade for the younger crowd, and a lovely spa with saunas, massages, and any other way to treat oneself. Happy endings may be included.
The kitchens are always open and offer an array of decadent desserts, meats, vegetables, and anything else one could want. No request is too much! And don't worry, nothing is drugged or of questionable quality or origin (that one would recognize).
Reach Up High There are two methods for earning a sin removal this time around, and none of them are painful! Very painful, at the very least.
The first option is to find a way to warm the spirits who enter the ship, whether this means cuddling the spirits and sacrificing your own warmth, or finding alternative means by wrapping them in blankets or offering them warm drinks while they have the energy to make themselves solid enough to hold items. Showing kindness to those damned to eternal suffering will certainly earn some points with God.
The second option involves volunteering to watch Barbas from his cage in the lower decks of the Hell ship. Bonus points for maintaining patience and kindness even with one of Hell’s least favorite Lords.
Follow Me Down
Prompt I Lucifer is asking all sinners and demons alike to give something valuable (whether it's valuable in an actual monetary sense or just to the owner) to present to Mammon as a gift. They need to sway his favor back towards them, Lucifer insists, and gifts are the way to go. Mammon functions on greed and a love of all things unique. Items can be listed here. Those who are generous may receive special favor once they reach Mammon's lands, either in the form of special dinners, pampering, or more comfortable rooms, etc.
The second request is to kidnap the spirits climbing aboard and seeking warmth. While these guys just want to cuddle a bit or curl up next to the fires to try to chase the cold that somehow penetrates even their undead, incorporeal forms, they’re also a precious source of energy that Mammon will appreciate. While sinners are allowed to show kindness towards the spirits (much to the dismay of the staff), they will also be given bottles to capture them, also as gifts to bestow upon Mammon.
Please note that doing either of these will result in the sin of bribery and potentially betrayal being added to your list of sins.
Prompt II WARNINGS: dubcon, aphrodisiacs, body transformations, drug use, alcohol
That isn't the end of the festivities either! Not at all. The demonic staff has orchestrated a bit of fun to distract from the cold and sense of impending doom hanging in the air by way of trick or treating. Sinners will be grabbed up by eager demons and led cabin to cabin to trick or treat. Those answering the door may choose either option! Treats may be in the form of candy, booze, or other trinkets or whatever one may consider a 'treat', and if a trick is chosen? Well, if you've just set yourself up for a little bit of a prank, haven't you? Good luck trying to figure out ways to appease the eager demons wanting a show! They just want to know they're appreciated, you know. Things have been rough.
For those who aren't terribly interested in any such thing, the staff has also decided on the perfect way to deal with any residual ghost trauma... which is telling ghost stories, of course. On the deck, there's been a special place set up with a fire pit (don't worry, it's being carefully watched! Last thing they need is a fire on the ship...) and blankets. There's also an array of food and drink while the goblins formerly of the library urge sinners to gather around for some story time. Sinners may listen to the goblins or share their own encounters with the spirits.
While they hardly managed to save much in the way of costumes, there's even an impromptu costume competition going on for those who may wish to try to piece together something from what odds and ends did make it to the ship. Voting will be done via sinners and rewards will be in the form of candies. Actual candy, don't worry! The barista from Helluvacup will also be out and about with Bean to spread cheer in the form of Halloween themed pastries and coffees with little spiders drawn in the foam (that may or may not look like spiders. Don't criticize him! Bean will protect his master with lovely disease-ridden bites.)
Of course, for all the well-intentioned shenanigans of the staff, the succubi and incubi are adding their own twist to things. Some have decided to taint the chocolates to add additional energy in the air. Once again, the sex demons feel as if they're famished with the lack of energy and they're doing their best to makeup for it... whether the sinners are aware of it or not. These chocolates the devilish incubi and succubi pass out will have a multitude of effects:
In addition, the sex demons will urge sinners in keeping each other warm in any sense of the word. What better ways than sharing some body heat? Or maybe adding a bit of candleplay to the mix...
If none of that tickles your fancy, there are also a wealth of drugs available to partake in, as well as a fight night happening below deck on one of the lower levels. Fights are carried out among sinners and demons alike, with plenty of help standing by to patch those injured up. Those partaking in either watching or actively participating may swap sins as bets, or anything else they may be willing to risk losing.
Wildcard/Misc. Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.
And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the November 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.
Navigation
| Premise
| Arrival
| FAQ
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes
It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.
It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.
And so you do.
Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, And it seems to linger for a long time. There is nothing at all. It must be lonely. But it won’t be forever.
Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.
Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.
The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"
Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please take your care package and continue on until you reach the stairs."
On their way out, sinners receive their 'package', a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written with their blood. That explains the palm wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. They will also receive a slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android and a pamphlet made by other sinners during their stay here with useful tips.
After that, sinners will be ushered on to a set of stairs where a guard waits. "Welcome to Penance," the demon says gruffly before motioning them on without an ounce of courtesy. "Don't hold up the line."
They seem to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon what appears to be a cruise ship.
The demon stationed outsid the entrance looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend ways to spend their time while they reach new lands. Sorry about the confusion, Hell is just undergoing some rather unhappy changes.
Stand Your Ground The Penance Community is gone. Lilith made the tough call to abandon the community and urged sinners to save both Lucifer and Barbas along the way. Everyone who arrives will appear on the ship itself after stepping through the door, regardless of where it is in the waters. There may be a bit of disorientation at first, having to travel what may be a fair distance and the residual magic of Lilith’s touch, but it will fade quickly. Don’t worry, sinners!
They are safe on the waters. The icy, icy waters that appear as if they shouldn't be navigable at all. That's possibly a bit concerning, isn't it? There's also snow falling from the skies and frozen spirits that desperately scratch at the sides of the ship to climb aboard. They're used to the boiling waters of blood, not ice. Listen carefully, you can hear their whispers of confusion and desperation. "Why is it so cold?" they ask. "We hurt!" they howl. The staff busying themselves around the ship insist it's best to not concern oneself with it too much. It's like a vacation for them, really. Best worry about yourself.
Blankets are available on request, as well as warm clothes. Not all of these items will be... modern, maybe, but they will at least keep you warm. Hot chocolate, teas, and coffees are also being handed out freely by staff in an attempt to combat the freezing temperatures.
Lucifer may be spotted around the ship, looking rather wary but up and about again at least. He's quick to reassure everyone that Mammon will be giving them aid again and that they're heading to some absolutely beautiful lands. Perhaps sinners who are familiar with them will give them a recount of what it was truly like from the last visit.
The Voyage The large luxury ship is painted a rather ominous black, giving it an intimidating feel on the outside. Once boarded, sinners will see that this initial feeling is likely unfounded. There are plenty of luxuries anyone could want, including a pool, a hot tub, and plenty of tropical drinks with tiny umbrellas provided free of charge. And that's just the deck! Bedrooms range from four person units, three person units, to couples' beds for those who wish to continue their matrimony (or who would rather avoid the hassle of potentially being paired with someone entirely new for the time being).
Not only that, but there's plenty of festive decorations saved from the hotel! Ranging from Jack O'Lanterns to spooky fake skeletons to inflatable witches, and anything in between. Just because tragedy has struck doesn't mean that the holiday spirit has disappeared! People need something to keep them distracted now, more than ever. The staff is happy to (try to) provide this.
There's also a grand bar that provides plenty of cider, mead, and ale, whiskeys from Mammon's own personal stock. These drinks range in strength and may land even the most resilient on the ground after a few sips if one isn't careful! Additionally, the drinks seem to inspire a feel good mood and chase away the dourness that seems to have settled over those in the Penance community. There's constant music playing that may inspire those around to dance, as well as rather hungry incubi and succubi wandering around. They seem eager to please in any and all ways and, like in Penance, give off a natural aphrodisiac that smells sweet to the senses.
There's also a theatre for those who may prefer to watch some festive movies (Enjoy this! There won't be any such things once sinners arrive in Mammon's domain!), an arcade for the younger crowd, and a lovely spa with saunas, massages, and any other way to treat oneself. Happy endings may be included.
The kitchens are always open and offer an array of decadent desserts, meats, vegetables, and anything else one could want. No request is too much! And don't worry, nothing is drugged or of questionable quality or origin (that one would recognize).
Reach Up High There are two methods for earning a sin removal this time around, and none of them are painful! Very painful, at the very least.
The first option is to find a way to warm the spirits who enter the ship, whether this means cuddling the spirits and sacrificing your own warmth, or finding alternative means by wrapping them in blankets or offering them warm drinks while they have the energy to make themselves solid enough to hold items. Showing kindness to those damned to eternal suffering will certainly earn some points with God.
The second option involves volunteering to watch Barbas from his cage in the lower decks of the Hell ship. Bonus points for maintaining patience and kindness even with one of Hell’s least favorite Lords.
Follow Me Down
Prompt I Lucifer is asking all sinners and demons alike to give something valuable (whether it's valuable in an actual monetary sense or just to the owner) to present to Mammon as a gift. They need to sway his favor back towards them, Lucifer insists, and gifts are the way to go. Mammon functions on greed and a love of all things unique. Items can be listed here. Those who are generous may receive special favor once they reach Mammon's lands, either in the form of special dinners, pampering, or more comfortable rooms, etc.
The second request is to kidnap the spirits climbing aboard and seeking warmth. While these guys just want to cuddle a bit or curl up next to the fires to try to chase the cold that somehow penetrates even their undead, incorporeal forms, they’re also a precious source of energy that Mammon will appreciate. While sinners are allowed to show kindness towards the spirits (much to the dismay of the staff), they will also be given bottles to capture them, also as gifts to bestow upon Mammon.
Please note that doing either of these will result in the sin of bribery and potentially betrayal being added to your list of sins.
Prompt II WARNINGS: dubcon, aphrodisiacs, body transformations, drug use, alcohol
That isn't the end of the festivities either! Not at all. The demonic staff has orchestrated a bit of fun to distract from the cold and sense of impending doom hanging in the air by way of trick or treating. Sinners will be grabbed up by eager demons and led cabin to cabin to trick or treat. Those answering the door may choose either option! Treats may be in the form of candy, booze, or other trinkets or whatever one may consider a 'treat', and if a trick is chosen? Well, if you've just set yourself up for a little bit of a prank, haven't you? Good luck trying to figure out ways to appease the eager demons wanting a show! They just want to know they're appreciated, you know. Things have been rough.
For those who aren't terribly interested in any such thing, the staff has also decided on the perfect way to deal with any residual ghost trauma... which is telling ghost stories, of course. On the deck, there's been a special place set up with a fire pit (don't worry, it's being carefully watched! Last thing they need is a fire on the ship...) and blankets. There's also an array of food and drink while the goblins formerly of the library urge sinners to gather around for some story time. Sinners may listen to the goblins or share their own encounters with the spirits.
While they hardly managed to save much in the way of costumes, there's even an impromptu costume competition going on for those who may wish to try to piece together something from what odds and ends did make it to the ship. Voting will be done via sinners and rewards will be in the form of candies. Actual candy, don't worry! The barista from Helluvacup will also be out and about with Bean to spread cheer in the form of Halloween themed pastries and coffees with little spiders drawn in the foam (that may or may not look like spiders. Don't criticize him! Bean will protect his master with lovely disease-ridden bites.)
Of course, for all the well-intentioned shenanigans of the staff, the succubi and incubi are adding their own twist to things. Some have decided to taint the chocolates to add additional energy in the air. Once again, the sex demons feel as if they're famished with the lack of energy and they're doing their best to makeup for it... whether the sinners are aware of it or not. These chocolates the devilish incubi and succubi pass out will have a multitude of effects:
Milk Chocolate - inspires lust so strong, one cannot control it. It may lead to begging or public displays of self-pleasure.At least the succubi and incubi are being cordial enough to lead sinners off to a private area of the ship they've filled with plush cushions and bedding for the fun... mostly.
Dark Chocolate - inspires the urge to dominate and aggression. It's time to take control and take what you want.
Chocolate covered cherries - inspire the urge to be submissive and the urge to please those around, in multiples if possible.
Chocolates filled with liqueurs - Inspires loose lips. Suddenly, the most appalling filth will be falling from your lips, every filthy desire there that you've kept hidden is now out in the open. How will others react?
Mint chocolate - May inspire transformations. Whether this is of the animalistic variety or sex, it is entirely up in the air. All of these effects can absolutely be mixed. Take as many chocolates as you like!
In addition, the sex demons will urge sinners in keeping each other warm in any sense of the word. What better ways than sharing some body heat? Or maybe adding a bit of candleplay to the mix...
If none of that tickles your fancy, there are also a wealth of drugs available to partake in, as well as a fight night happening below deck on one of the lower levels. Fights are carried out among sinners and demons alike, with plenty of help standing by to patch those injured up. Those partaking in either watching or actively participating may swap sins as bets, or anything else they may be willing to risk losing.
Wildcard/Misc. Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.
And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the November 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes
no subject
Saul's always been a curious person. Curious about what might happen if he disobeys a sign, curious about what might happen if he tracks down a certain high school chemistry teacher, and the curiosity he has about the other sinners in Hell--along with their current setting being relatively safe (as safe as Hell can be)--overrides any sense of wariness that he might be picking up off of Ramsay for now.]
Years at a time? And here I thought four months was too long.
[He'd have made bank off of years long winter many moons ago, but now he just sort of internally weeps at the state of an AU Slippin' Jimmy's back.]
Not that we get too bad of a winter anymore. Global warming and all.
no subject
Besides, maybe he'll say something else that might be interesting! It can be a game, where the less bored he is by this man, the less of an urge he has in removing pieces of him--]
Global warming. [Ramsay slowly repeats back, not a spark of recognition in his eyes as he considers that phrase. But the lord actually tries to think about it, putting his words into context.] This 'warmth' effects your winters, shortening its span? Such a thing doesn't exist back in Westeros, not even the southern lands.
Many would pay tribute for this global warming to happen.
no subject
[He's the lawyer, not the scientist of his little group in Albuquerque, but somehow it's him talking general environmental science with the man from the middle ages. But hey, as long as Ramsay is interested in it, he hasn't given Saul any reason to not continue the conversation. And really, if global warming is needed anywhere, it sounds like it's needed in Westeros.]
Some people don't mind the temperature change, but it's not great for the planet. It melts the glaciers, changes weather patterns. But if we had years-long winters, I can't say I wouldn't be paying tribute for it myself.
no subject
If winter's warmer at the cost of the land and weather, then those weak people need to endure the cold.
[Guess he's never asked how this 'Global Warming' even started, but he's just going to jump straight to the part where people should just find a way to prepare for those winter months or perish. It's hard to imagine the North being anywhere close to the temperatures of the southern lands, especially some place like Dorne. He'd personally murder the man or witch responsible if that happened.
Ramsay points his turkey leg at Saul, and makes a small circling motion with it.]
Don't tell me that you'd be that weak now, modern man. [Since he's wearing a similar style to another passenger that he's already met, and he mentioned something about being from the 'modern' times, Ramsay thinks it fits.] I hate being disappointed.
[Despite thinking that Saul would be good dog food earlier, but you know.]
no subject
Saul Goodman's the name. You can call me Saul, though.
[Because modern man is just... a bit odd. Saul Goodman: the Modern Man.]
It's not so simple as making tributes to change the weather where I'm from, though. No real experience with that myself.
no subject
Ramsay Bolton, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North. You will address me as Lord Borton.
[He's not going to ask him to bend the knee though, seems a little pointless at this stage. But Saul won't manage to avoid Ramsay taking a few steps closer to him, until they're just a couple of feet away from each other.]
That's not a problem now, I presume. Right, Saul? Many years may separate us, but titles and respect must still exist in your time.
[Guess he's become less interested in talking about global warming for now.]
no subject
To Saul's credit, he doesn't back up from Ramsay as he gets closer, instead standing still and offering him what he hopes seems like a friendly, easy going smile. He may still be thinking there's a chance Ramsay is a dude who is very committed to his bit, but no matter what the real case is here, he's not out to make more enemies than he already has. Not on purpose, anyway.]
If Lord Bolton is what you want, Lord Bolton it is! Just because we're dead doesn't mean we have to forego all manners, right?
no subject
I knew you were a smart man!
[And yep, he's keeping his hand on Saul's shoulder as he continues to speak.]
I believe we'll get along now. I'm not a difficult lord to please.
[You know, he just has some extracurricular interests that people frown on-- it's not his fault people don't understand tradition. Regardless, Ramsay grabs a spare leg of meat nearby before almost shoving it into Saul's hands.] Eat up. Be a waste to ignore what's been given to us.
no subject
So, as strange as he might find it to have this forced in his hands, Saul graciously accepts the leg of meat Ramsay shoves at him, holding it up in a cheers motion. But he doesn't take a bite just yet.]
What's a bit of gluttony, right? We're already in Hell.
[Does Westeros have the same sins? Who even knows.]
no subject
Before winter hits the North, we do our best to stockpile on food. Real hard to hunt and harvest when you're freezing your balls off out there. As you may think, excessively dining can result in starving on another day, but those rules probably don't apply here.
[He sits himself on a nearby stool and despite all of this chatter about eating, Ramsay doesn't take another bite off his own plate. He's taken to staring almost expectantly at Saul, just making sure that the older man eats what he's given him.]
So, tell me, what is it that you do? I can only guess that it doesn't involve a task where you must remain hidden. [Bliding colors aside, usually they are a mark of something, right? Harder to get those sorts of dyes, although they remind him more of Dorne than anything. But unlike those soldiers of Dorne, Ramsay feels like he can poke at Saul's body and he'd just be soft all around.]
no subject
But as the conversation shifts away from vaguely ominous commentary about winter famines and frozen northerners, it's a lot easier to pretend to be fully at ease and personable, the way Saul Goodman is supposed to be. Especially if it's answering easy questions about himself.]
You're not wrong. The more you stand out, the more clients you get. I'm a lawyer, it's-- [Well, normally he'd add a lawyers and hell joke here, but Ramsay wouldn't get it. Ruining his punchlines, Ramsay!]
It's kind of like an advisor? People make decisions, I tell them if they're good or bad, I argue their position to other people to help them see the light.
no subject
You're an advisor to any that comes to you? For a fair price, I assume.
[Ramsay is torn between asking more about this and forcing Saul to finish the rest of his meal, but after a few seconds of thinking about it... why not both! He levels a look at Saul, his eyes darting from the meat in his hand and slowly pulling up to stare at the lawyer.]
Don't start lagging now, food's far better warm.
no subject
But Saul is nothing if not good at slapping a cheerful demeanor on and burying any of his own actual concerns beneath that mask. So, he offers Ramsay another cheers of sorts with the leg of meat, as if to acknowledge his point about it being better warm, before taking another bite of it.]
I wouldn't be much of a lawyer if I didn't charge. Some clients, they pay in advance for future services, but others pay as soon as they need my help. It's all about finding the right balance between the two.
[The right balance being the one that lets him get away with slacking off in his office most of the day under the guise of doing research or something.]
no subject
Well, Goodman, what's the best advice that you can give me right now? [He gestures to the ship around them, as if emphasizing what he wants Saul to talk about. Living in hell, adapting to shit, that sort of thing.
Oh, right, he has to pay him, but Ramsay isn't going to bring that up unless Saul does first. Instead, he gives him that one expectant look, like he believes that the lawyer will do whatever he wants anyway. He can always pull out a knife and do this in a different way, but ah, maybe he should wait a little longer before resorting to that.]
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Don't get comfortable. I haven't been damned to eternal suffering for long myself, but from what I've seen and what I've heard, things here go south real fast.
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[Ramsay isn't too impressed by that information, but he decides to let it slide because Saul apparently believes it to be helpful. Maybe modern men are just easily swayed to let their guard down by a few good tidings, hence that advice. Not to mention, Saul's proven to at least be somewhat intelligent so far.
...
He puts a hand to his chin and appears to be assessing the lawyer for a few moments, before Ramsay suddenly claps his hands together as if he thought of a great idea.]
I decided! You can be my new advisor, seeing that none of my council hasn't wound up here. This is an honor for you.
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[But if gluttony were the only sin they were encouraged to engage in and be punished for, well, Ramsay isn't wrong. It wouldn't be all that bad, even in Saul's perspective. The encouraged gluttony doesn't come close to how heavy things can get when the demons decide it's time to confess your sins.
But speaking of heavy, a new client is about the last thing Saul expected to happen today, or well, ever, in Hell. He raises his eyebrows at Ramsay's declaration. Here's hoping it comes off as a pleasant sort of surprised.]
The Law Offices of Saul Goodman and Associates would be honored to represent a lord such as yourself!
[Flattery gets you somewhere, that's the way he lives his life, even if it's not the truth deep down.]
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Good, very good. You truly are a smart man, Saul Goodman. [He turns slightly to grab his drink, and it seems that he's about ready to
finallyleave the man alone to dine.]Do try to keep alive here. I'd hate if you were rotting in the ground somewhere when I suddenly need your advice on something.
[Mostly advice on how modern men usually behave, or at least simple explanations on some of the 'modern' items that's been shoved to his face since arriving here. He's mostly adapted, but it would be nice to have some extra information here and there about these things.]
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But the promise of more to come is not something he's fond of beneath his Saul Goodman facade.
He's got an act to keep up, though, and he knows it. So he offers Ramsay some jaunty little salute as a sign off.]
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
[no please don't, ramsay]