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penancememes2022-10-23 04:27 pm
penancemods) wrote in penancememes2022-10-23 04:27 pm
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TEST DRIVE MEME #40
Arrival
"Judgement has come upon you. God has deemed you worthy of Hell. But don't worry, it can still be undone," comes a soothing voice that echoes all around you. The voice promises comfort, hope even.
It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.
It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.
And so you do.
Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, And it seems to linger for a long time. There is nothing at all. It must be lonely. But it won’t be forever.
Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.
Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.
The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"
Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please take your care package and continue on until you reach the stairs."
On their way out, sinners receive their 'package', a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written with their blood. That explains the palm wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. They will also receive a slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android and a pamphlet made by other sinners during their stay here with useful tips.
After that, sinners will be ushered on to a set of stairs where a guard waits. "Welcome to Penance," the demon says gruffly before motioning them on without an ounce of courtesy. "Don't hold up the line."
They seem to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon what appears to be a cruise ship.
The demon stationed outsid the entrance looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend ways to spend their time while they reach new lands. Sorry about the confusion, Hell is just undergoing some rather unhappy changes.
Stand Your Ground The Penance Community is gone. Lilith made the tough call to abandon the community and urged sinners to save both Lucifer and Barbas along the way. Everyone who arrives will appear on the ship itself after stepping through the door, regardless of where it is in the waters. There may be a bit of disorientation at first, having to travel what may be a fair distance and the residual magic of Lilith’s touch, but it will fade quickly. Don’t worry, sinners!
They are safe on the waters. The icy, icy waters that appear as if they shouldn't be navigable at all. That's possibly a bit concerning, isn't it? There's also snow falling from the skies and frozen spirits that desperately scratch at the sides of the ship to climb aboard. They're used to the boiling waters of blood, not ice. Listen carefully, you can hear their whispers of confusion and desperation. "Why is it so cold?" they ask. "We hurt!" they howl. The staff busying themselves around the ship insist it's best to not concern oneself with it too much. It's like a vacation for them, really. Best worry about yourself.
Blankets are available on request, as well as warm clothes. Not all of these items will be... modern, maybe, but they will at least keep you warm. Hot chocolate, teas, and coffees are also being handed out freely by staff in an attempt to combat the freezing temperatures.
Lucifer may be spotted around the ship, looking rather wary but up and about again at least. He's quick to reassure everyone that Mammon will be giving them aid again and that they're heading to some absolutely beautiful lands. Perhaps sinners who are familiar with them will give them a recount of what it was truly like from the last visit.
The Voyage The large luxury ship is painted a rather ominous black, giving it an intimidating feel on the outside. Once boarded, sinners will see that this initial feeling is likely unfounded. There are plenty of luxuries anyone could want, including a pool, a hot tub, and plenty of tropical drinks with tiny umbrellas provided free of charge. And that's just the deck! Bedrooms range from four person units, three person units, to couples' beds for those who wish to continue their matrimony (or who would rather avoid the hassle of potentially being paired with someone entirely new for the time being).
Not only that, but there's plenty of festive decorations saved from the hotel! Ranging from Jack O'Lanterns to spooky fake skeletons to inflatable witches, and anything in between. Just because tragedy has struck doesn't mean that the holiday spirit has disappeared! People need something to keep them distracted now, more than ever. The staff is happy to (try to) provide this.
There's also a grand bar that provides plenty of cider, mead, and ale, whiskeys from Mammon's own personal stock. These drinks range in strength and may land even the most resilient on the ground after a few sips if one isn't careful! Additionally, the drinks seem to inspire a feel good mood and chase away the dourness that seems to have settled over those in the Penance community. There's constant music playing that may inspire those around to dance, as well as rather hungry incubi and succubi wandering around. They seem eager to please in any and all ways and, like in Penance, give off a natural aphrodisiac that smells sweet to the senses.
There's also a theatre for those who may prefer to watch some festive movies (Enjoy this! There won't be any such things once sinners arrive in Mammon's domain!), an arcade for the younger crowd, and a lovely spa with saunas, massages, and any other way to treat oneself. Happy endings may be included.
The kitchens are always open and offer an array of decadent desserts, meats, vegetables, and anything else one could want. No request is too much! And don't worry, nothing is drugged or of questionable quality or origin (that one would recognize).
Reach Up High There are two methods for earning a sin removal this time around, and none of them are painful! Very painful, at the very least.
The first option is to find a way to warm the spirits who enter the ship, whether this means cuddling the spirits and sacrificing your own warmth, or finding alternative means by wrapping them in blankets or offering them warm drinks while they have the energy to make themselves solid enough to hold items. Showing kindness to those damned to eternal suffering will certainly earn some points with God.
The second option involves volunteering to watch Barbas from his cage in the lower decks of the Hell ship. Bonus points for maintaining patience and kindness even with one of Hell’s least favorite Lords.
Follow Me Down
Prompt I Lucifer is asking all sinners and demons alike to give something valuable (whether it's valuable in an actual monetary sense or just to the owner) to present to Mammon as a gift. They need to sway his favor back towards them, Lucifer insists, and gifts are the way to go. Mammon functions on greed and a love of all things unique. Items can be listed here. Those who are generous may receive special favor once they reach Mammon's lands, either in the form of special dinners, pampering, or more comfortable rooms, etc.
The second request is to kidnap the spirits climbing aboard and seeking warmth. While these guys just want to cuddle a bit or curl up next to the fires to try to chase the cold that somehow penetrates even their undead, incorporeal forms, they’re also a precious source of energy that Mammon will appreciate. While sinners are allowed to show kindness towards the spirits (much to the dismay of the staff), they will also be given bottles to capture them, also as gifts to bestow upon Mammon.
Please note that doing either of these will result in the sin of bribery and potentially betrayal being added to your list of sins.
Prompt II WARNINGS: dubcon, aphrodisiacs, body transformations, drug use, alcohol
That isn't the end of the festivities either! Not at all. The demonic staff has orchestrated a bit of fun to distract from the cold and sense of impending doom hanging in the air by way of trick or treating. Sinners will be grabbed up by eager demons and led cabin to cabin to trick or treat. Those answering the door may choose either option! Treats may be in the form of candy, booze, or other trinkets or whatever one may consider a 'treat', and if a trick is chosen? Well, if you've just set yourself up for a little bit of a prank, haven't you? Good luck trying to figure out ways to appease the eager demons wanting a show! They just want to know they're appreciated, you know. Things have been rough.
For those who aren't terribly interested in any such thing, the staff has also decided on the perfect way to deal with any residual ghost trauma... which is telling ghost stories, of course. On the deck, there's been a special place set up with a fire pit (don't worry, it's being carefully watched! Last thing they need is a fire on the ship...) and blankets. There's also an array of food and drink while the goblins formerly of the library urge sinners to gather around for some story time. Sinners may listen to the goblins or share their own encounters with the spirits.
While they hardly managed to save much in the way of costumes, there's even an impromptu costume competition going on for those who may wish to try to piece together something from what odds and ends did make it to the ship. Voting will be done via sinners and rewards will be in the form of candies. Actual candy, don't worry! The barista from Helluvacup will also be out and about with Bean to spread cheer in the form of Halloween themed pastries and coffees with little spiders drawn in the foam (that may or may not look like spiders. Don't criticize him! Bean will protect his master with lovely disease-ridden bites.)
Of course, for all the well-intentioned shenanigans of the staff, the succubi and incubi are adding their own twist to things. Some have decided to taint the chocolates to add additional energy in the air. Once again, the sex demons feel as if they're famished with the lack of energy and they're doing their best to makeup for it... whether the sinners are aware of it or not. These chocolates the devilish incubi and succubi pass out will have a multitude of effects:
In addition, the sex demons will urge sinners in keeping each other warm in any sense of the word. What better ways than sharing some body heat? Or maybe adding a bit of candleplay to the mix...
If none of that tickles your fancy, there are also a wealth of drugs available to partake in, as well as a fight night happening below deck on one of the lower levels. Fights are carried out among sinners and demons alike, with plenty of help standing by to patch those injured up. Those partaking in either watching or actively participating may swap sins as bets, or anything else they may be willing to risk losing.
Wildcard/Misc. Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.
And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the November 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.
Navigation
| Premise
| Arrival
| FAQ
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes
It may seem like a nightmare at first, despite all of that. Full of hellfire nipping at your skin and a sensation of being pulled down no matter how much you struggle or cry for help. Wretched, unseen hands pull at you, grip tight at your body, tighten on your throat, skeletal fingers grab at your face, slide in your mouth and jab at your eyes as they struggle for purchase. It feels like for a moment, they may snap your neck as they tug and pull. The more you resist, the more phantom hands are added to your struggling body.
It feels like they could tear you apart if you let them. The only thing to do is to let go and stop fighting.
And so you do.
Darkness and nothingness consumes you for a second, And it seems to linger for a long time. There is nothing at all. It must be lonely. But it won’t be forever.
Initially, everyone opens their eyes to a long, dark corridor made of stone. They find themselves in what appears to be a long queue with other sinners, palm bloody.
Characters find their bodies feel heavy and stiff, bruised with odd hand prints here and there that they received during their journey down below. A massive headache throbs behind their temples. They are urged forward to take a numbered ticket and wait their turn in the long line. As they're ushered forward through the corridor, their first stop will be to see Lilith, standing outside her office.
The woman in a smart suit and a friendly smile steps forward to greet sinners one by one. "I'm sorry for your rough landing. We've never gotten it quite as smooth as it was in the past. Please, let me see your hand--"
Once she has the sinner's hand, there's the warm, almost electric touch of magic that soothes away the aches and pains, heals the wound left behind on each sinner's palm. Lilith looks satisfied with her work and gives a nod. "There, all better. Please take your care package and continue on until you reach the stairs."
On their way out, sinners receive their 'package', a contract detailing all sins committed. If they look at the list closely enough they'll notice it's written with their blood. That explains the palm wound then. It's an old piece of parchment despite the freshly written letters upon it. They will also receive a slightly more modern smart phone. Think early generation Android and a pamphlet made by other sinners during their stay here with useful tips.
After that, sinners will be ushered on to a set of stairs where a guard waits. "Welcome to Penance," the demon says gruffly before motioning them on without an ounce of courtesy. "Don't hold up the line."
They seem to go on and wind forever, but eventually, they come upon what appears to be a cruise ship.
The demon stationed outsid the entrance looks rather bored, but when sinners approach? He seems to snap to attention to offer whatever help they might need of him. He will at least direct to food or rooms to rest their wary bodies, or recommend ways to spend their time while they reach new lands. Sorry about the confusion, Hell is just undergoing some rather unhappy changes.
Stand Your Ground The Penance Community is gone. Lilith made the tough call to abandon the community and urged sinners to save both Lucifer and Barbas along the way. Everyone who arrives will appear on the ship itself after stepping through the door, regardless of where it is in the waters. There may be a bit of disorientation at first, having to travel what may be a fair distance and the residual magic of Lilith’s touch, but it will fade quickly. Don’t worry, sinners!
They are safe on the waters. The icy, icy waters that appear as if they shouldn't be navigable at all. That's possibly a bit concerning, isn't it? There's also snow falling from the skies and frozen spirits that desperately scratch at the sides of the ship to climb aboard. They're used to the boiling waters of blood, not ice. Listen carefully, you can hear their whispers of confusion and desperation. "Why is it so cold?" they ask. "We hurt!" they howl. The staff busying themselves around the ship insist it's best to not concern oneself with it too much. It's like a vacation for them, really. Best worry about yourself.
Blankets are available on request, as well as warm clothes. Not all of these items will be... modern, maybe, but they will at least keep you warm. Hot chocolate, teas, and coffees are also being handed out freely by staff in an attempt to combat the freezing temperatures.
Lucifer may be spotted around the ship, looking rather wary but up and about again at least. He's quick to reassure everyone that Mammon will be giving them aid again and that they're heading to some absolutely beautiful lands. Perhaps sinners who are familiar with them will give them a recount of what it was truly like from the last visit.
The Voyage The large luxury ship is painted a rather ominous black, giving it an intimidating feel on the outside. Once boarded, sinners will see that this initial feeling is likely unfounded. There are plenty of luxuries anyone could want, including a pool, a hot tub, and plenty of tropical drinks with tiny umbrellas provided free of charge. And that's just the deck! Bedrooms range from four person units, three person units, to couples' beds for those who wish to continue their matrimony (or who would rather avoid the hassle of potentially being paired with someone entirely new for the time being).
Not only that, but there's plenty of festive decorations saved from the hotel! Ranging from Jack O'Lanterns to spooky fake skeletons to inflatable witches, and anything in between. Just because tragedy has struck doesn't mean that the holiday spirit has disappeared! People need something to keep them distracted now, more than ever. The staff is happy to (try to) provide this.
There's also a grand bar that provides plenty of cider, mead, and ale, whiskeys from Mammon's own personal stock. These drinks range in strength and may land even the most resilient on the ground after a few sips if one isn't careful! Additionally, the drinks seem to inspire a feel good mood and chase away the dourness that seems to have settled over those in the Penance community. There's constant music playing that may inspire those around to dance, as well as rather hungry incubi and succubi wandering around. They seem eager to please in any and all ways and, like in Penance, give off a natural aphrodisiac that smells sweet to the senses.
There's also a theatre for those who may prefer to watch some festive movies (Enjoy this! There won't be any such things once sinners arrive in Mammon's domain!), an arcade for the younger crowd, and a lovely spa with saunas, massages, and any other way to treat oneself. Happy endings may be included.
The kitchens are always open and offer an array of decadent desserts, meats, vegetables, and anything else one could want. No request is too much! And don't worry, nothing is drugged or of questionable quality or origin (that one would recognize).
Reach Up High There are two methods for earning a sin removal this time around, and none of them are painful! Very painful, at the very least.
The first option is to find a way to warm the spirits who enter the ship, whether this means cuddling the spirits and sacrificing your own warmth, or finding alternative means by wrapping them in blankets or offering them warm drinks while they have the energy to make themselves solid enough to hold items. Showing kindness to those damned to eternal suffering will certainly earn some points with God.
The second option involves volunteering to watch Barbas from his cage in the lower decks of the Hell ship. Bonus points for maintaining patience and kindness even with one of Hell’s least favorite Lords.
Follow Me Down
Prompt I Lucifer is asking all sinners and demons alike to give something valuable (whether it's valuable in an actual monetary sense or just to the owner) to present to Mammon as a gift. They need to sway his favor back towards them, Lucifer insists, and gifts are the way to go. Mammon functions on greed and a love of all things unique. Items can be listed here. Those who are generous may receive special favor once they reach Mammon's lands, either in the form of special dinners, pampering, or more comfortable rooms, etc.
The second request is to kidnap the spirits climbing aboard and seeking warmth. While these guys just want to cuddle a bit or curl up next to the fires to try to chase the cold that somehow penetrates even their undead, incorporeal forms, they’re also a precious source of energy that Mammon will appreciate. While sinners are allowed to show kindness towards the spirits (much to the dismay of the staff), they will also be given bottles to capture them, also as gifts to bestow upon Mammon.
Please note that doing either of these will result in the sin of bribery and potentially betrayal being added to your list of sins.
Prompt II WARNINGS: dubcon, aphrodisiacs, body transformations, drug use, alcohol
That isn't the end of the festivities either! Not at all. The demonic staff has orchestrated a bit of fun to distract from the cold and sense of impending doom hanging in the air by way of trick or treating. Sinners will be grabbed up by eager demons and led cabin to cabin to trick or treat. Those answering the door may choose either option! Treats may be in the form of candy, booze, or other trinkets or whatever one may consider a 'treat', and if a trick is chosen? Well, if you've just set yourself up for a little bit of a prank, haven't you? Good luck trying to figure out ways to appease the eager demons wanting a show! They just want to know they're appreciated, you know. Things have been rough.
For those who aren't terribly interested in any such thing, the staff has also decided on the perfect way to deal with any residual ghost trauma... which is telling ghost stories, of course. On the deck, there's been a special place set up with a fire pit (don't worry, it's being carefully watched! Last thing they need is a fire on the ship...) and blankets. There's also an array of food and drink while the goblins formerly of the library urge sinners to gather around for some story time. Sinners may listen to the goblins or share their own encounters with the spirits.
While they hardly managed to save much in the way of costumes, there's even an impromptu costume competition going on for those who may wish to try to piece together something from what odds and ends did make it to the ship. Voting will be done via sinners and rewards will be in the form of candies. Actual candy, don't worry! The barista from Helluvacup will also be out and about with Bean to spread cheer in the form of Halloween themed pastries and coffees with little spiders drawn in the foam (that may or may not look like spiders. Don't criticize him! Bean will protect his master with lovely disease-ridden bites.)
Of course, for all the well-intentioned shenanigans of the staff, the succubi and incubi are adding their own twist to things. Some have decided to taint the chocolates to add additional energy in the air. Once again, the sex demons feel as if they're famished with the lack of energy and they're doing their best to makeup for it... whether the sinners are aware of it or not. These chocolates the devilish incubi and succubi pass out will have a multitude of effects:
Milk Chocolate - inspires lust so strong, one cannot control it. It may lead to begging or public displays of self-pleasure.At least the succubi and incubi are being cordial enough to lead sinners off to a private area of the ship they've filled with plush cushions and bedding for the fun... mostly.
Dark Chocolate - inspires the urge to dominate and aggression. It's time to take control and take what you want.
Chocolate covered cherries - inspire the urge to be submissive and the urge to please those around, in multiples if possible.
Chocolates filled with liqueurs - Inspires loose lips. Suddenly, the most appalling filth will be falling from your lips, every filthy desire there that you've kept hidden is now out in the open. How will others react?
Mint chocolate - May inspire transformations. Whether this is of the animalistic variety or sex, it is entirely up in the air. All of these effects can absolutely be mixed. Take as many chocolates as you like!
In addition, the sex demons will urge sinners in keeping each other warm in any sense of the word. What better ways than sharing some body heat? Or maybe adding a bit of candleplay to the mix...
If none of that tickles your fancy, there are also a wealth of drugs available to partake in, as well as a fight night happening below deck on one of the lower levels. Fights are carried out among sinners and demons alike, with plenty of help standing by to patch those injured up. Those partaking in either watching or actively participating may swap sins as bets, or anything else they may be willing to risk losing.
Wildcard/Misc. Don't see something you love but still want to get a feel for the game? Check out our extensive list of LOCATIONS and write up your very own prompt however you'd like to! You can also add a "NETWORK" post option to your TL for quick, easy, and fun interactions.
And without further ado: Welcome to our new TDM for the November 1st app round! As always, potential appers and characters already in game are welcomed to jump right in! This TDM counts as an additional game event as well as game canon for those coming into the game. If you app and are accepted, TDM tags become game canon and can be used for AC! Please have fun and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have down below.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc., go here.
Rules | Taken | Reserves | Applications
Network | Logs | OOC | Memes
no subject
And his eyes really are so, so blue. She knows that, of course, but with his face inches from hers, it’s even more obvious.
When he suggests she start tattooing people, though, her eyes lit up. Really, her whole face does, like somebody switched a light on inside her head. ]
Wait. Nobody else does tattoos in Hell? But it’s, like… Hell. [ Jane laughs incredulously. Then her voice softens. ] Jesse, that’s a great idea. You can be my business manager.
Or I could teach you! To do tattoos. You’re already an okay [ she’s not actually winking when she says that, but by her tone of voice she must as well be ] artist. I’m sure you’d pick up on it, like, eventually.
[ Jane enjoys the feeling of Jesse’s hand on her cheek for just a moment before reaching out with both hands to hug him close. ]
Hey, I know it’s super rude to just invite yourself over to somebody else’s house— or demonic cruise ship cabin— but would it be okay with you if I stayed here for more then just tonight?
[ Jane won’t say it out loud, but she doesn’t think she’s ready to be alone by herself, not just yet. ]
no subject
[ Jesse's face grows serious and he licks over his lips. He squeezes Jane's hip and then slides his hand up her side to brush along the spot between her neck and shoulder. He's pulled in suddenly for a hug, but he sinks into it once Jane starts speaking. He nods but at the end he pulls back--far enough to make eye contact with her. His expression grows serious, almost somber. ]
Uh...I dunno. See, um. The thing is...I have this girlfriend?
[ At first Jesse looks totally serious. It's actually a ninth fucking wonder of the world that he's been able to keep a straight face for this long. ]
Normally I totally would, but she's like. She has this whole Don't Be An Asshole policy? So I don't know. She might kick your ass. Or, y'know, get someone to 'throw your ass out by the dumpster'
[ Jesse's face cracks, a smile breaking through, as much as he tries to hold it back. ]
She's this tattoo artist who doesn't have any tattoos. I mean...shit I wouldn't fuck with her if I were you.
[ He laughs, a soft huff, mostly silent, but a bright grin breaks across his face before he licks over his lips and then presses close to kiss her. He pulls back enough to mutter, though their faces are still close. ]
You can stay. 'm all yours.
no subject
Uh-huh. So if she has such a strict No Assholes policy, then why’d she let you in?
[ When he says she can stay, though? And that he’s ‘all hers’? Jane practically melts, smiling big, her eyes even tearing up a little with happiness and gratitude. ]
Thank you.
no subject
Wow, ouch. I dunno. I guess I'm just charming like that.
[ Jesse quickly shifts his tone, though, particularly when he notices that Jane's actually tearing up a little. He slides his hand down her cheek and the side of her neck before he lifts it to wrap his arm around her back, splaying his fingers at the small of it. ]
You don't needa thank me. Feels good havin' you around again, y'know? Maybe we're one of the lucky ones who gets a do-over.
no subject
[ Jane keeps on hand on his scalp, gently running her hand over and then finally lifting it, to let it rest between his cheek and the bed. ]
Yeah. A do-over.
[ Jane likes the sound of that. One of the things they’d impressed upon you in rehab was that there were no do-overs; your actions were yours to live with forever. But right now she can’t bring herself to care. As she sits there staring at him, she lets her eyes close just a little, enjoying the soothing feeling of his arm around her. ]
no subject
[ He shudders at the feel of her hand on his scalp, carding through his unruly light brown hair.]
I mean that's what the whole Penance corner of Hell was s'posed to be about. Look, I know you said slow up on info, but. This is relevant. Penance, the place we escaped from on this cruise ship was s'posed to be Lucifer's little experiment. He believes that, at least some of us, can redeem ourselves and, like, get a second chance at life or ascend into Heaven or whatever. That's why he set all this up for us. But God keeps gettin' mad that, uh, a lot of us Sinners keep fallin' down the same path. Indulging in the temptations or whatever.
[ Jesse fights the urge to drag a hand down his face. He's been affected by God's wrath before. He's been affected by the demons' insistence on suffering, too. Or repenting, as they'd called it. ]
no subject
He says he’s been here six months, right? God, Jane doesn’t even want to think about what could have possibly happened to him in that time. It almost makes her sick to her stomach.
So she listens to him with rapt attention, thinking about what he says. Indulging in temptations. Same old path. Story of her life.
Jane sucks in a breath and moves her hand to gently cradle Jesse’s cheek, in between the warmth of his skin and the cool of the pillow. ]
Well, now we have each other. We can help each other make better choices this time.
[ Yes, because that worked out so well in the past! ]
no subject
[ And so, Jesse falls into the habit that it's him and Jane against the world; that somehow two addicts can overcome it all and emerge out the other side victorious. It's not likely, if he were thinking clearly. Even less so given the various people from their world who have since embarked on the ship to Mammon's Lands. But still. Jesse wouldn't be Jesse if he didn't try to believe in the unimaginable. If he'd lost that sense of wonder that dreamers so often have. He's clinging to that piece of him. Clinging hard, but Hell is a Whole Place, and he's only just begun to know its tortures. ]
We have to...y'know? We gotta try to make shit right out here. Get some sins of our lists.
no subject
Yeah.
[ She finally removes her hand from his chin in favor of just cuddling as close to Jesse as humanly possible. ]
What do you think you’ll do, when all of yours are gone? Go back to life? Or go to Heaven?
[ For her, Jane assumes, the decision has already been made. Presumably, you don’t just wake back up by magic if you overdose. But if Jesse doesn’t remember how he got here, maybe there’s a chance he can still go back. If he wants to. ]
no subject
I dunno. Go back, I guess. I can't really imagine goin' the other place. 'Specially since I don't even remember what got me down here to start with. But, like...if I had a choice? I'd do whatever ended me up with you.
[ He says that with a bit of hesitance. He knows he's always been more into Jane than she was into him. Or, at least, he showed it more. But, Jesse's the type of person to wear his heart on his sleeve and not everybody's that way. Not by a long shot. ]
no subject
That’ll change, though.Then she grows serious. ]
But you shouldn’t do that, Jesse. I mean, just making decisions based on being with me. You need to decide what’s going to be right for you in the end. [ She leans in, to actually kiss Jesse on his nose. ] Promise me. Promise me no matter what, you’ll make your decisions based on what’s best for yourself. Not for anybody else. Even me.
no subject
Yeah. Yeah, I can do that. If that's what you want. I mean, I already kinda experienced life y'know...without you. It wasn't easy. Not sayin' life with you's gonna be way different but uh. I dunno. I dunno even where I'm goin' with this. I just want you happy, and I guess we'll see whether that means bein' with me or not.
[ Jesse shrugs, even though saying that out loud pains him some. He also knows he'd never want to hold Jane back. Or himself back, for that matter. He wants them both to reach their full potential and if that means being separate from one another, so be it. It'll be hard, but doable. ]
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[ She’s still as close to him as she can get without melting into his skin. ]
I want to be with you, too. I just want you to be safe and happy too. That’s all. Sometimes you sacrifice for other people instead of thinking about yourself.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you, silly. I came here to protect you or save you or something, remember?
[ She can’t remember exactly what her theory had been. But she laughs all the same. ]
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[ He sighs, frustrated that sometimes he can't get the words to cooperate in his head. Sometimes he just doesn't know how to express himself the right way. ]
It's not easy. Doin' stuff just for me. It's somethin' that's gonna take time for me to figure out. I've always been told what to do or who to be my whole life to where I'm a little lost on, like, how to navigate that shit on my own. But yeah, in general I wanna do whatever's gonna make me a better person, and whatever's gonna keep the people I care about safe.
[ There's a little sadness in his smile as he runs his hand along Jane's side, slipping it to her back as she presses close. Maybe he's a little too late to keep her safe in the way he wants to. He knows what it means if he goes back. That it'll be starting life without her again. But if he knows he can get her out of here, to a place where she can find peace--heaven maybe? Then maybe it'll be an easier pill to swallow. ]